August 2005 Archives

i'm concerned about the recent purchase of my very lovely dvd-by-mail provider vhqonline by the not as lovely and somewhat maligned provider zip.ca.

the first change i've noticed and don't much like is in the rental queue format. vhq used to have it in priority order from 1 to whatever number was last. you'd have the dvd you wanted sent next in the number one spot, and so on. it was really handy for getting what you wanted when you wanted it. the new zip-powered site doesn't seem to have that option. my queue is now alphabetical. i don't want to see movies alphabetically! that's dorky!

anyway, i guess i don't have much of a choice. they were the only two major players in canada. i just hope zip doesn't fuck it all up, and charge me more for the pleasure.

does anyone have any experience with zip? are they less asstacular than they were a year ago?

so, i'm reading sex, drugs & cocoa puffs by chuck klosterman and i'm thinking that he sounds like he's talking about my life experiences with media and whatnot. he makes mention of being thirty years old and being eight in 1980 and, because i'm such the math wiz, i deduce he was born in 1972, just like me. as i keep reading the book, and i'm totally getting a crush on this guy i've never heard of before sean gave me his book to read, i decide i need to know just how near in age we are. according to wikipedia, we were actually born two days apart, with me being the elder. it started to freak out a little when i read that 'cause it's really like reading my life in some ways and to know that it's coming from this person who was born before my parents even got to take me home from the hospital is kind of freaky, yet very cool.

it's the same sensation i got while reading girlfriend in a coma by douglas coupland. it was set where i grew up, just a couple of years before i would have been doing all the things the characters were doing. reading how someone else lived what could have been (and sometimes was) your life is both disconcerting and very cool. it's almost a glimpse down the path not taken. if i'd been cooler or more aware of things would i have been the one to put it all together and make a book which affected people this way?

in other bookish news, the last book i read was the worst book i've ever read. saying this shouldn't be taken lightly, either. i read a lot of harlequin romances in the early nineties, so i know bad books. it's called in search of an impotent man by gaby hauptmann. it's about a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, well-adjusted, successful woman in her 30's who's oh-so tired of meeting men who are only after one thing (that's sex, just in case you were wondering), so she puts an ad in the local paper looking for an intelligent man who can't get his willie up. you'd think hilarity would ensue, but it was just a lot of "don't hate me because i'm beautiful" schlock and THE WORLD'S STUPIDEST ENDING EVER. ohmygod. all this was on top of the glaring realization that it's either a translation from german or ms. hauptmann skipped a few too many english classes during Gymnasium because the language is so horribly stilted and just plain uncomfortable to read. no one, not even germans, talk like her characters. ugh. i was so very upset with it i couldn't put it down. don't you hate it when that happens?

it feels so odd, yet so good, to be back in my own chair and at my own desk at work this morning. i have a lot of paper to plow through to catch up from the last two weeks, but i can't complain too much. byron totally slayed a couple of my biggest, ugliest, grossest tasks which i never had time to do. it feels really good to have them off my back finally.

my weekend was really great, too, even though i was so busy on saturday it actually felt like i'd missed it entirely. i totally made up for it with thirteen hours of concentrated sloth yesterday, though. m&m showed up unexpectedly to show off mark's brand new chevrolet cobalt they bought on wednesday.

the biggest accomplishment was the first-time creation of creme brulee (as pictured above). it was a huge hit and i don't think anyone died from it, but i haven't heard from any of them since, so i could totally be an inadvertent murderess. oops!

i still have lots of stuff to talk about and i should have some more time to actually do it this week, i hope. happy monday!

obviously busy. made nuttymuffin prettish tonight. go see. lots of stories to tell, i just need time to paste the words together. soon, i hope. maybe sunday. be good.

yeah, it's the same flowers. hey, i don't get flowers often, so it's understandable that i want EVERYONE to see them and know that someone brought them to me. if you don't like it, step off.

i spent most of yesterday sleeping. i totally bailed on tanya's exorcism barbeque, and for that i feel horrible, but i woke up and it was late and the idea of putting on pants and having to socialize was the absolute last thing which appealed to me. instead i spent an hour killing things in WoW and then went back to bed. i think i must have been tired.

today is the big blogger picnic out at jericho. it'll be tempting for me to drive past christopher's house while i'm in the neigbourhood. i wonder if his parents still live there. i used to want to contact a lot of people from my past, now the list is very small and christopher is at the very top. i wonder if the bunnies are still there...

work work work. i'd rather be here.

i'm finding it hard to concentrate right now. i'd much rather go back to dancing around my living room to mike doughty than sit still, let alone go to bed like a good little hessie should.

today was a fantastic day at work. byron is even more engaging than i remembered him to be. we spent far more time talking about everything under the sun than we actually did working. fantastic! these next two weeks with him around are going to kick so much ass. i'm thrilled.

all right, three more songs and then i'm going to bed. dance with me!

tomorrow starts my two weeks of hell at work. monday & tuesday will be Train Byron Days. from wednesday on, i get to be sean while i keep babysitting byron while he tries to figure out how to do my job. so, i'm writing this on sunday night. at eleven p.m. when i should really be sleeping considering i didn't get to bed until two-thirty this morning and it took most of the day to rid me of my hangover. there will be crashing very early this week. trust me on this one.

saturday was a great, fun day. even going into work for a couple of hours was good. then colene showed up and we took off for a night of fun, food and cougars. we had some yummy sushi on denman street, then we laughed until it hurt at theatresports' "the imprentice" and then we ended up at a total cougar bar back on the north shore. i fell in lust with a hipster guy at the bar while colene couldn't get over the crazy oldpeople demographic patronizing the place. yay for having colene to girltalk with all night (and drive me home after getting drunk at the pub).

today, i nursed my hangover and then went out to celebrate a 95th birthday party. hazel is a great lady and i'm thankful that, through meghan, i've gotten to know her. it was also great to see dean for the first time in six months, not to mention getting to spend time with m&m and their cats. i do love their cats. there are some photos here, if you're interested.

so, in the aftermath of my friday night date, writing the entry, talking it through with colene and reading everyone's comments, i'm still not upset about the whole thing. it was just far too surreal to even believe it actually happened. that being said, where there is no rage, there is some serious self-confidence deflating going on with me when i stop for long enough to actually think about it. if this guy, who really isn't all that or a bag of chips, could basically say "i like you, but call me when you're skinny" what is my hope of finding a guy who is all that who'll accept me as-is?

yes, i know. it's not MY problem, it's HIS. i get it and i'm trying really hard to get my internal nay-sayers to realize that, but they're tenacious little fuckers and have had free run of my head and heart for a very long time. they know all the shortcuts and hideyholes. i might need the orkin man to help flush them out.

anyway, i'd say that overall it's been a very interesting weekend and i can guarantee you it will be an equally interesting week. oh, by the way, expect evening posts.

so... i went out on a date last night.

i'd been corresponding with this guy for a couple of days when he suggested meeting up at the free vancouver symphony orchestra concert at deer lake park. i was feeling really cute and exuberant yesterday, so even though it was against my first date rules i said yes.

this guy was great on paper, especially when he was writing. it's embarassing, but i actually giggled with glee when he used a semi-colon. properly. yes, i know. i'm sad and pathetic. but when you're getting mail from men who, unironically, type things like "your the bom", a guy who knows his way around punctuation is a bit of a thrill.

okay, maybe only for me.

anyway, after a huge nightmare trying to find parking (who knew so many people were interested in the symphony!), i finally arrived at our meeting place outside the art gallery. it was interesting, as soon as i spotted him and got near, all the people who had previously been milling about disappeared. if it'd been a movie, he would have turned to see me walk up to him. as it was, i called his name and there was this beat or two when he didn't turn or seem to acknowledge me.

he was very tall and very blond with his newly bleached hair (long story short: he was born blond and wanted to see what it would be like to be blond again). the first couple minutes were kind of awkward and i worried this was going to be a repeat of my first date, where i tried so very hard to get a conversation started but had to admit defeat. it turned out i didn't have a lot to worry on the conversation front.

we found ourselves a spot on the grass, spread out the blanket i'd brought and settled in for a couple hours of culture in the fresh air. i was somewhat concerned that we'd not get a chance to chat while the music was playing, but after the intermission, we spent more time talking during the second half than actively listening. at the end of the moonlit show (who knew symphonies did encores?) he asked if i'd like to go get a drink and without thinking i said yes.

we took my car to white spot where we had some food and beverages and managed to talk for solid couple of hours about some pretty weighty subjects. he's a smart guy; a little dry, but that's not necessarily bad. by midnight i figured it was time to call it quits, especially since he had a long drive out to maple ridge.

sounds like a pretty good date, doesn't it?

but, this is my life and nothing ever goes as good as it seems at first glance. at some point during the concert, we were talking and he made some quiet remark i didn't quite hear. when i didn't acknowledge him, he suffixed it with another mumbled comment about preferences and then told me a story about his being dragged into bed by an overweight woman he had been dating and how she asked what was wrong when after an hour of fooling around nothing had yet "come up" for him. ah. now i was clued in.

when exiting the car to go into the restaurant, he told me i was "deadly pretty" and that if i were to start working out i'd have all the men in the city falling all over themselves to get a piece of me. later on, soon before saying goodnight, he went on for quite a while about how great i was and, again, if i were slimmer i'd never want for attention from men. he also surmised that it was probably best for modern civilization that i was heavy so that society wouldn't crumble in man's bid to be with me.

those were the nicest insults i've ever received.

oh, but it gets better. he mailed me today saying he had fun and made a little joke about something we'd talked about at the restaurant. i replied that, yes, i'd had fun and if he wanted to hang out again to give me a shout. i was being half polite and half serious. he really is a decent enough guy, he's just not hot for me, which is totally okay. everyone's got their stuff they won't compromise on, but not everyone would have the balls to put it so plainly in an email:

"You're a nice and interesting person -- or I could say, I personally find it easy to be with you. If I didn't have any hangups about weight, I'd probably be looking for a ring I could offer.

I can't say this w/o sounding shallow, and I apologize fully for that, but I need to know, do you have any plans to slim down?"

"friday was, next to thursday, one of the most stressful days i've had in recent memory. i don't even know why it was so extraordinarily annoying, but i could almost feel my blood boiling in my veins and my breath catchng in my chest as i tried to just get something, anything done in the chaos of the day. how is it that the days you look most forward to are the ones which are so amazingly frustratng?"

i wrote that on the ferry last week. wow, what a difference a few days can make. these last couple, i've been floating on air. i'm damn cute, i'm damn funny, i'm hyper productive, and i've got my words back. the only thing i haven't done is get outside to make photographs, but that's okay 'cause i've been hanging out online with jeremy and watching movies and making tortilla pizza and buying blueberries and going out for lunch.

i'm feeling my mojo, that's for damn sure. i feel invincible! i want to spin in circles and laugh my fool head off. i want to go play and be wild. wild!

hey, who wants to go to playland tomorrow (i can get day passes for $24 through work if you confirm by 3pm)?

hey, i totally forgot that yesterday was there here website's fifth birthday. hard to believe i've been doing this blogging thing for five years so far. every once in a while i read through the archives and i think that i used to be a lot more clever, then i realize that i didn't chat at work so all my quick and witty thoughts got posted here. now they get related to whomever is in the top-most msn window. i'm sorry about that, but at least you guys get pretty pictures now!

so yeah, happy birthday, blog. here's to another five years (i've already paid for the domain), i hope.

okay, someone just called my cell phone, but they blocked their number. that's NOT the way to get me to answer. just like i hang up my land line if there's that second or two of silence when the autodialer connects to the telemarketer, i don't answer calls i don't know the number of.

by the way, i'm really cranky today and it's for no apparent reason. i'm getting lots done at work, the week is flying, i have byron the temp to flirt with for the next two weeks, we have a big bag of free chips in the office, my supervisor is away and they're building me the kickass shelving unit i designed for my uniform room. what's there to complain about?

i think i need a hug. someone to curl up on the futon and watch movies with. someone who smells like leather and tobacco. someone who'll stroke my hair while it rests on their lap.

ugh. i gotta stop that or i'll be melancholy AND cranky and that's just a recipe for disaster.

i'm still feeling guilty for forgetting to turn off my alarm clock before i went to the island this weekend. my poor neighbours had to hear my alarm BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPing for half an hour starting at six a.m. both saturday and sunday mornings. then i remember the eastern europeans and their drunken folksong-singing party the other week and the urgent sex-having upstairs neighbours and i don't feel so bad anymore.

so, i have this sexy new cell phone with all these free minutes which i'll never use and i'm starting to think i might have to solicit phone calls from people who want to talk with me. mostly i just think it's bloody cool when the phone vibrates when it rings. so make it ring, dammit! please.

another whirlwind visit to the island: 52 hours from start to finish. we saw two movies in the theatre (march of the penguins and wedding crashers) and two movies in the livingroom (team america: world police and hollywood north). i had one nap and two good sleep-ins. we visited my uncle and discovered an amazing little hidyhole i'm definitely going back to explore in more detail in future. i won't be going back until my mom's birthday at the end of september, so we had to pack a lot in to keep her topped up with heathery goodness until she sees me again.

overheard on the ferry to horseshoe bay:

daddy (who looks and sounds an awful lot like darren): christopher, get down off the table, please.
christopher: no!
daddy: christopher, it's time to get off the table. look around, do you see anyone else lying on their tables?
christopher: *looking around* yes?
daddy: no, you don't. please get down.
christopher: whyyyy?
daddy: because it's outside the social norms.

sean is having his new desk assembled/installed this morning, so i can't really do a lot while his stuff is on my desk. instead, i'm trying to decide where i want to go to get myself some lunch today. i'd kill my puppy for some chipotle, so it's probably a really good thing i don't have a puppy because there's no chipotle for 150 miles.

i'm off to the island tonight to visit the maternal unit. we're planning on seeing the island and wedding crashers. i'm planning on sleeping as much as humanly possible.

have a good weekend, peeps. *mwah*

for four lovely days i went to bed when i was tired and woke up when i was rested. those were great days. now, at some arbitrary time of day the evil little box which lives beside my bed screams BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP at me, ripping me violently from my restful slumber, terrorizing me with its grating, electronic voice.

i fucking hate alarm clocks.

my vegetarian mexi-shepherd's pie turned out after a bout of fear and revulsion as i was concocting. jamie even had seconds! phew. all in all, it was a lovely evening. we chatted like old men on the front porch, ate food i cooked and cookies he baked (the biggest cookies in the world!), listened to some music, etc. i certainly hope he doesn't think it sucked. i know i don't. i believe this might have ushered in the era of dinner parties in my life. i just need a bigger table...

in other, less interesting news (to anyone but me), i have dived head-first back into the world of warcraft. oh, yes, my pretty. me'n'my female human warrior are kicking ass and taking names in elwynn forest. it's so much fun playing with jeremy and wade, especially when we're all skyping together while we slay. i'm fairly sure they're just in it for the mocking of me, because they're seasoned gaming guys and i'm the total newbie, girly girl who doesn't know what the hell is going on most of the time. oh yes, the mocking. at least they're having a good time, i guess. ;)

and before i forget... thank you very much for all your well-wishes yesterday. i really appreciate it. you guys are tops. tops, i say!

just a quick long-weekend update. there was sleeping, eating, drinking, dvd & west wing watching, new cell phone buying, house cleaning, book reading, heat hating, cool loving, cute being, phone talking, WoW playing (more on this later) and dinner guest inviting.

this morning, i'm going to have breakfast with my daddy and then i'm coming home to cook s'more because jamie is coming over for dinner. this is my first ever dinner guest. i mean, i've had people over and when we got hungry we ate dinner, but i've never INVITED anyone over specifically to eat an evening meal of something i prepared. i'm totally stressed out.

in less joyful news, my uncle passed away yesterday. while my family isn't close, geographically or emotionally, i have always felt a very strong bond with all of my aunts, uncles and cousins. they're my family. being an only child has intensified that, i think.

my uncle, whom i saw two summers ago when i went to ontario, finally succumbed to his very long battle with prostate cancer. it's very sad and it's also a relief, both for him and my aunt.

i always joke about what a hardass he was. how when i was there the summer i turned 14 he took us all out to sandy beach to go waterskiing. my cousins had been on skiis their entire life, but after three tries to get up on the water while being dragged at 10 knots he said that i only got three chances and never let me attempt waterskiing again. he did let me work in the kitchen of his pizza place. he did have a secret way about him, a knowing smirk, a very dry humour, a huge love for his wife and two sons.

i'll miss you, uncle frank. i love you very much.