March 2006 Archives

subject: woe

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that's seriously true for me these days.

there's been some of you whining complaining showing concern that i haven't updated in almost a week, but i assure you it's only because i'm out enjoying my life (yes, even when i'm complaining about being so busy) and spending time with superfantastic people who bring me great joy.

exacerbating the silence is my getting my hand slapped by the boss for excessive flickr usage at the office. i wonder if flickr addiction is a treatable condition under my health plan... anyway, since then i've been trying to stay offline as much as possible (except for right now, of course), so that means even fewer opportunities to post.

or maybe it's just the new pants distracting me.

so, yeah. i'm not dead. i'm not sad. i'm just busy and, well, i'm happy again. it's spring and everything sprung. i love it.

"I loved it when my father got himself worked up like this. Listening to him during those early years, I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good, either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be."

- from "My Uncle Oswald" by Roald Dahl

it's no big secret to the people who know me best (and pretty much anyone -- i have no poker face) that i've been on the down side of good for the past week. of course, it comes on the heels of being Over The Moon for the last couple months, which just makes it all that more shameful to admit to. that's the trouble with being happy and letting people know it: when something happens to tumble the foundation out from under your feet, everyone wants to know why? what? where? when? how? just when all i want to do is go off into a corner with a Costco-sized bag of Doritos and feel sorry for myself.

that being said, i'm rather proud of the way i've been handling it all. i haven't gone to Costco for the Doritos and i haven't spent more than an afternoon feeling sorry for myself. i got outside and walked some of it off. i went shopping for things i needed, not just wanted. i cleaned my apartment and my car. everything was constructive and positive, which is a huge step forward for me.

but, even feeling proud of my strength, i don't particularily like what i forsee my near future to be and feel like. i know the things i need to do to make it bearable, but it's still going to suck a whole lot and i'm really not looking forward to any of it.

why is it that being the responsible adult means you have to do the things you really don't want to so much more often than the things you really do want to? as a kid, i always imagined it was going to be the other way around.

last night, i decided that some retail therapy was in order. i'd been putting off clothes shopping for months in hopes of more dramatic body shrinkage, but if i'm to listen to Stacey and Clinton of What Not to Wear i should dress the body i have now, not the body i want in three months. so, i did. i found three pairs of pants (plain black jeans, cool tinted jeans and SUPERAWESOME stripey pants -- i can't wait until they're shortened so i can wear them) and a new pair of shoes (black, leather, comfy pseudo-mary janes). i'm not sure why, but i always seem to find either lots of tops and no bottoms or lots of bottoms and no tops.

i tried to stop by another store on the way home, but it was closed. i hope to hit it today after work, along with a department store or two in hopes of finding new bras. god, i hate bra-shopping; but, with the current state of my boob-holders, i can't afford to wait any longer (i actually have a mark from where the broken underwire in one continuously pokes my dug. ow.).

what i'm really looking for, and probably will never find, is a new jacket. something nice. not too dressy, not too casual. not too heavy, not too flimsy. something a little funky, but still wearable in any situation. something around a 3/4 length car coat, with pockets, but not too many embellishments. the problem i have with buying most anything one-piece-like is my top is smaller than my hugemongous butt. so if it fits my upper torso, it doesn't fit the bottom and if it fits the bottom, it's all baggy and saggy up top. i realize that i could probably find something and then have it altered, but i don't know just how much altering can be done to a garment to fit my crazy pear shape.

oh, to be rich enough to afford a personal tailor!

i don't want to talk about it. or anything, really.

enough about me, let's talk about you.

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

- 'Someday you will be loved' by Death Cab for Cutie

happy st. patrick's day! are you wearing your green? if not, i've got a pinch for you. you can't tell it from there, but even my underthings are green today. *wink*

yeah, i still don't have anything to talk about. well, i could mention that i'm almost out of my pearberry bath & body works lotion and it's freaking me out because what if i run out and people don't think i smell as good as i used to but my car needs to be fixed and i'm definitely not driving down to bellis fair mall with the car which howls like a howling thing and the chick on ebay who has some to sell won't ship to canada unless i buy $50 worth of stuff and even though i really like pearberry i don't think i can bring myself to buy that much lotion at one time.

hm. maybe i'm not so boring afterall. ;)

work is kicking my ass and my car is making expensive-sounding noises, but everything else is going really well. so well, in fact, that i don't have anything to say. i'm turning into a boring happy person. how strange.

after four hours of fitful non-sleep, i decided it was enough self-torture and got up. two hours later, i was back asleep. two hours after that, i was up again and getting ready for work. yeah, i hate tuesdays.

at least i have an evening involving yummy vietnamese food and a gory play to keep me going.

oh, yeah. happy steak & bj day (NSFW), boys.

i'm happy.

snow. ice. wind. rain. hail. all on one day. in march. what the hell? this morning, my drive from the apartment to the highway looked like a frosty fiesta what with the roads covered in frozen snow and ice. luckily only my part of town seemed to be so unfortunately coated and i didn't die once on the way to work.

i'm really tired today. there's nothing i'd rather do than go back to bed for a week. instead, i get to spend the day doing the part of my job i hate the most and then go home and do all the cleaning i've been too busy to get done just in case i get asked to go do stuff this weekend. my life is such a party. rock it, baby. ROCK IT!

ugh.

today isn't going very well and i need you all to be extra nice to me so i don't launch into a full-fledged hissyfit and spend the rest of the day hiding in the uniform room while i cry and stomp my feet.

thank you.

oh, and if you didn't already know, most of the photos i've been taking lately have been going up on my flickr account. while i'm battling what it is which is picking on me today, you can go look at those if you like.

i feel like keeping it all to myself these days.

i'm now the proud owner of an original christopher evans photograph. it has replaced the first "art" i bought for my first apartment. the sarcastic quotes are to indicate that no one in their right mind would consider two anne geddes prints of babies in bee costumes art.

there's something superfantastic about having amazing photos created by amazing people you actually know and consider friends. i'm completely honoured and delighted to have both christopher's and julie's amazing creations adorning my home. it's so awesome there are just no words to describe the feeling it evokes.

i told chris last night that when he becomes (even more) famous and world-renowned i'd be happy to lend the photo to exhibitions so long as it says "on loan from the heather s. logan collection", since that's as close to famous as i'll get for anything photographic.

tomorrow night is work's 20th anniversary gala event. i'm going to wear a dress and, quite possibly, shoes with kitten heels. i wear a dress on average of once every seven years, so it's a bit of an occasion on top of an occasion for me. i expect it will also be much fun to take the Seabus over to the Fairmont Waterfront in my dress and heels. oh yes. so much fun. whee!

the world is very, very small place and i occasionally get freaked out when that is reinforced to me by some random happening.

over the last few weeks, i've been getting referrals from beyond robson, some 'vancouver blog' i'd never heard of and pretty much never read. no big deal, i get lots of strange referrals (mostly for albino porn, but that's a story for another time). this morning, while perusing the logs, there was another hit from that site and i, on a whim, clicked to see what was going on over there only to find an article describing a guy i grew up, and lived in the same duplex, with.

george faulkner has made good! i think that's awesome. him and his twin brother gordon are such a huge part of my childhood memories that it's hard to think of my life from age 8 to 18 without thinking of them, too. their mom was like a second mother/best friend/big sister to me for a lot of those years, as well. our families were together all the time. they tried to teach me how to skateboard and i helped them get girls (indirectly, but i was totally an in for at least one of their girlfriends). oh, the memories.

i'm really happy to see he's doing something he's passionate about and seems to be making a life for himself doing it. that's all i've ever hoped for the people i care for in my life. way to go, george. way to go.

i have a confession to make: i'm a picky eater.

it's not something i try to hide, but recently it's become a thing with certain people i know. i once tried to create a general "rule" for things i don't like to eat in order to make it easy for friends or family to grasp my dislikes: anything white, creamy and savoury. not white or creamy or savoury, but anything which is all three i will pretty much refuse to eat: mayonnaise, sour cream, cream cheese, alfredo sauce, cream of anything soup, etc.

of course, like any rule there are exceptions. i will eat caesar salad, which has a creamy dressing, but not regular salad with ranch dressing. i will eat sour cream'n'onion chips, which is a flavour concocted in a laboratory, but not chips with oniony dip. i will also eat cole slaw, which is made with a mayonnaise-like dressing, but not potato salad.

i'm also not that huge a fan of cheese. it's best as a journey rather than a destination. i like a hunk of good medium cheddar with pickles or crackers, melted mozzarella on anything italian and, of course, parmesan on my spaghetti and caesar salad, but that's about it. the one time i tried swiss i nearly threw up all over Morgan and any of the stinky cheeses just make me queasy. don't even try to get me to eat the creamy cheeses like ricotta, mascarpone or cottage. that's a double-whammy of grossness.

i stopped eating cow and pig for about eight years, not for any likeability issues, mostly for health reasons. now, i only tend to avoid sausage-like products and ground beef (have YOU read fast food nation?). i quite enjoy a nice piece of steak on occasion. i had never eaten a prawn or shrimp which wasn't deep-fried before three years ago, yet now i love them like crazy. mm, yummy shrimpy goodness.

the thing people don't seem to realize is that i'm a much less picky eater than i used to be growing up. i am far more willing to try new things than i was as a younger person. dear god, i eat thai, vietnamese, indian, greek and japanese food now. before ten years ago, you never would have caught me even contemplating trying such scary foods.

i know people who are phobic about mushrooms & celery or say they're vegetarians while they eat deep-fried, battered fish, yet people bug ME about ordering a burger without mayo or greek salad without feta. it just doesn't seem right, somehow. i don't have issues with vegetables. i don't exclude entire food groups from my diet for some random philosophical reason. i'm willing to try new things, within certain limits, but if i don't want to eat your spinach dip, why do you have to make such a big deal about it? i'm almost 34 years old, i buy and cook my own food, let me eat in peace already.