this is not an attack. this is my personal reaction to something someone wrote online. i do not dislike them, nor do i mean them any harm by my sharing this. i am merely expressing my feelings on the subject. it actually saddens me that i feel the need to preface this with a disclaimer, but people are funny creatures and they take offense far too easily.<\/i>
\ni think that if a person considers it an accomplishment to have been single for thirty days, they have some serious esteem issues which need to be addressed.
\ni’ve always felt an uneasy sensation when confronted with people who just can’t seem to be alone. they’re always with other people or can’t ever seem to not<\/i> be part of a couple. if they’re by themselves for any length of time, they become agitated and have a mini-breakdown. maybe it’s only because i don’t understand the concept. i was raised to be self-sufficient and comfortable on my own. being an only child possibly had something to do with it. being shy and somewhat unpopular probably did too. regardless, of my non-comprehension of the inability to be alone, i think these people are scared that if they’re not distracted by others they will be forced to deal with themselves.
\n“what do you do when you’re alone?” someone recently asked.
\nmy first reaction was, and still is: i live my life.
\nit’s really hard for me to express the feelings that simple-seeming question created in me. first, it didn’t mean much to me at all. but, as time wore on it got me more riled up as i thought about it. how ridiculous it sounded to have to ask what to do when you’re by yourself. i wondered if they had no interests or inclinations. i pictured a person sitting in the middle of their room, not knowing where to turn or what to do just to entertain themselves.
\ni wanted to ask them how it was they got to be so dependant on other people for their entertainment and validation as a viable human being. i wonder how it is that they cannot bear to be alone with themselves. why it is that they considered themselves inferior if they aren’t in a relationship. what’s gone on in their lives to make them so unable to cope with their own selves that they need to always be distracted by the presence of other people.
\ni wanted to shout at them, “being alone does not equal being lonely!”
\nthen i thought about it a little more. i wondered why it was i reacted so violently.
\nmaybe someone would look at my mostly solitary life and wonder why it was that i had never been in a relationship (other than some pathetic wannabe or long-distance fiasco) or prefer to be by myself most of the time than to surround myself with people. don’t get me wrong, i enjoy small groups of interesting people with whom i have a connection; but i do not share my time with people merely to be with them. if i’m spending time with you, it’s a compliment. you’re valuable to me and i am telling you so with my presence.
\nmaybe i thought it was a judgement of my lifestyle. that people who aren’t in relationships are somehow invalid. then i realized that years of indoctrination by society have instilled in me the need to defend the fact that i’m not really fond of the human race in general. to disdain those people who function well in groups and social settings because i’m not one of them myself. dammit, i’m one of those funny creatures i was disclaiming for up above.
\nit really comes down to the fact that people are very different and none of us are wired to react to similar situations in a like manner. there will always be “people-people” and “loner-people”. it’s taken me a long time to realize that it is entirely okay for me to like being alone. i’m no longer going to force myself to be social because i think it’s what i should do. what i needed to realize is that for other people, it’s just as okay for them to not want to be alone. they’re not me and they need different things. it’s unfair of me to force my personal bias upon their lifestyles.
\nnow leave me alone! ;)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
this is not an attack. this is my personal reaction to something someone wrote online. i do not dislike them, nor do i mean them any harm by my sharing this. i am merely expressing my feelings on the subject. it actually saddens me that i feel the need to preface this with a disclaimer, …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1360\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}