{"id":1641,"date":"2003-07-18T08:46:38","date_gmt":"2003-07-18T08:46:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog2\/?p=1641"},"modified":"2003-07-18T08:46:38","modified_gmt":"2003-07-18T08:46:38","slug":"going_quackers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/going_quackers\/","title":{"rendered":"going quackers"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"like<\/div>\n

i’m decidedly unhappy at the present. i spent a lot of time last night working myself in a bloo mood by recalling what i was doing two weeks ago. remembering the way he touched me and talked to me and loved me. i suppose i’m at that point where i’m wondering if i did the right thing, if i was just scared and didn’t realize what i truly felt. that’s not what’s really going on, though. it’s totally okay for me to miss it because it was wonderful and made me feel wonderful (when i wasn’t feeling guilty for leading him on).
\nit’s the worry that no one else will ever want to touch me and love me which is eating at me now. i thought it before he came and i’m sure i’ll think it after the next one leaves. it’s just that, right now, i’m consumed with the fear i’ll never be so beautiful in someone else’s eyes again. that fear and worry is making me think about contacting him and saying “i’m sorry! i was wrong! please come back.”
\nthe persian violet he bought me is having a rocky start in its new home. i haven’t quite figured out how much attention it needs from me to thrive. my african violet delights in neglect, so i’ve gotten accustomed to ignoring it for weeks then giving it a good, healthy drink and it being pleased as punch with the meager attention it receives. the persian is a different beast all together. it demands much more devotion and affection. it needs me to water it at least twice a week or it starts to pout. i’m not used to this level of botanical dedication. one of us is going to have to adapt to the other’s level. i hope it learns something from its african neighbour.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i’m decidedly unhappy at the present. i spent a lot of time last night working myself in a bloo mood by recalling what i was doing two weeks ago. remembering the way he touched me and talked to me and loved me. i suppose i’m at that point where i’m wondering if i did the …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-photos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1641"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}