my job used to include processing thousands of applications and resumes each year and i was always astounded and amazed by some of the things people would write and\/or include in hopes of attracting attention of their potential employer. these are just a few of the more memorable outtakes.
\n“If your advertisement was written to attract my attention, it worked like a charm !”<\/i>
\nyippee skippy!
\n“Objective: To obtain employment in the job that i’m applying for.”<\/i>
\ngee, you think?
\n“I am available now and do not mind odd hours and shift work.”<\/i>
\noh good! we’ve been looking for someone to work 1, 3, 5, 7…
\n“There has not bin a job that I could not do.”<\/i>
\nexcept spell ‘been’ correctly.
\n“After being downsized, a couple of years ago, I’am now wanting
\nto work at another trade or vocation.
\nMy years of work experiences could work well for your company
\nin giving both of us, a Very Worthwile, Win-Win, Sucessful Combination.
\nI live a very sober and straight lifestyle. I am Bondable,
\nHonest, Trustworthy, Concienceous, and Reliable.
\nI know that I am, of the proper discipline
\nto undertake this challenge NOW.
\nI Extend to you, the Right!, to pass this Resume
\nalong, to Whom Ever, might benefit from
\nour Mutual Association.
\nand, Thank You in advance!”<\/i>
\nand i’m Passing it Along to You. you’re Welcome!
\n“I have the experience.
\nI have the Tools.
\nI have the Strength, energy and motivation.
\nTo do great work for you!”<\/i>
\nhmm, maybe if i have no experience or real skills, but write my cover letter like a poem they’ll hire me! uh, no.
\n“This is with reference to my telephonic conversation dated 27 November with one of your staff, I would like to apply…”<\/i>
\ntelephonic? supersonic? chronic, polyphonic! *do-doo-be-doop*
\n“Here is my application. I appreciated the time you took to speak with me last week. As you can see, my resume on its own doesn’t show how hard I can work. I am 6’1″ and 235 pounds of pure muscle. Have me for an interview.”<\/i>
\ni’m not sure exactly what kind of job he thinks he’s applying for, but sure! i’ll have you for an interview, you big hunk of muscle.
\n“I’m faxing you at this time, in regards to and employment opportunity. I’m an Electronics Engineer. Describing with some details my career experience you could see that I have experience, with control and instrumentation equipment, due too work at a laboratory and inside a facility too; y got some experience working with mechanical parts. I know anything about calibration, repair and maintenance of electronics instrument as well as data acquisition equipment too. Thinks like computer programming, software development. Software packages are quiet good dominated. Additionally I got some other valuable courses, to prepare you to attend difficulties as well as to help you solve problems during certain dangerous situations and to prevent it. I though you were probably interest in a person like me, or with the experience or preparation like the one I have, please accept my resume I would like to share it with you. I will be happy to schedule and interview to answer all you questions. And don’t hesitate to contact me.”<\/i>
\nthere’s just too much to choose from. [insert your joke here]
\n“I have a strong body and an agile mind. I can work in any conditions and used to work day after night.
\n…And so, I fax this letter to you, and hope we can work together. Another page of paper is my resume.
\nIf you can hire me, I would try my best to do it well. And make friendship with colleague.
\nI hope you are interested in what I said. And I am waiting for your reply.
\nBest truly of yours.”<\/i>
\nsometimes it just sounds like their ran their letter through babelfish. best truly of yours, too!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
my job used to include processing thousands of applications and resumes each year and i was always astounded and amazed by some of the things people would write and\/or include in hopes of attracting attention of their potential employer. these are just a few of the more memorable outtakes. “If your advertisement was written to …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1910","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1910"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1910\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}