{"id":2654,"date":"2008-06-04T20:27:54","date_gmt":"2008-06-04T20:27:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog2\/?p=2654"},"modified":"2008-06-04T20:27:54","modified_gmt":"2008-06-04T20:27:54","slug":"banks_will_alwa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/banks_will_alwa\/","title":{"rendered":"banks will always screw you"},"content":{"rendered":"

do you remember your first bank account?
\ni don’t mean the one your parents might have opened for you to “teach you the value of money” by taking you and whatever birthday loot you scored on your 6th birthday to deposit it into a savings account and have the teller update your little blue\/red\/silver bankbook in a dot-matrix printer which sounded like your dad pounding nails at a million miles an hour and then slip it into its little plastic sleeve where you’d never actually get to see it because you mom would always “keep it for safe-keeping”.
\ni’m talking about the first bank account you, yourself, opened. probably as a teenager. right around the time you got your first “real” job. probably at a fast-food joint or chain clothing store in the mall. you needed a bank account to cash those paycheques and your mom couldn’t find the damn bankbook for the savings account you drained to buy those AWESOME white shoes or comic books or video games or cigarettes and candy.
\nmy first bank account was at the Royal Bank of Canada<\/a>. i was 14, maybe 15. i vividly remember walking the four blocks to the bank, in through the double doors, past the receptionist with the scary bouffant and waiting in the line to get my first chequing account. i was SO excited! mostly about the cheques, because when i was little, my dad used to give me his old cheques (with the account numbers blacked out, damn) to play with. there wasn’t much i liked more than writing out pretend cheques to my friends and Barbies and then balancing the register. gee, no wonder i fell into bookkeeping for a time.
\nwell, that first bank account was gotten in 1988, give or take a year. that means i’ve been a Royal Bank customer for two decades now. that’s 20 years. which is a really long time to be a customer of one institution. so, how do you think i felt when i got told that i don’t count enough to get a free Eee PC like their other customers?
\ni went to the bank last Saturday (after the massage, but before the haircut) to get rolls of coins so i could do laundry for the next month. while waiting in line, i see gigantic signs advertising a FREE! EEE! PC!<\/a> to any customer who switches to one of two bank accounts. well, guess what? i have one of those accounts, so i asked if i would still qualify for the free computer. the strange teller handed me a flyer with my $35 in coins with the qualification criteria on it in a handy check-box format. i immediately had a feeling i was going to be screwed.
\nwhen i got home, i decided to call the 1-866 number on the flyer just to see if i could score one anyway seeing as i’m all about getting stuff for free these days. i talked to a lovely lady named Melissa or Melanie for over twenty-five minutes while we, in cooperation with her manager, tried to figure out my eligibility for the offer. well, it seems that when RBC decided to automatically “upgrade” my account from the old Royal Certified Service to their new RBC Signature No Limit Banking<\/a> (the qualifying account in question) on May 1st of this year, they effectively screwed me over. the fine print says *i* must be the one to switch my account, not them.
\nturns out the only way i can get the free mini-laptop now is to open a new chequing account and transfer all my direct deposits and pre-authorized payments over to it. do you know how annoying that would be? not to mention that i’d probably have to hold both accounts open for however many months at the low-low rate of $13.95 per account per month.
\nyeah, yeah. i know that’s still a lot cheaper than buying myself the Eee PC, but still. you’d think after 20 years i’d not have to work harder than some joe schmo who just walking in off the street. they’ve made a lot of money off of me over the years and i just want to get a little respect.
\nRBC<\/a>, you suck and as soon as i find an alternative, i’m so leaving you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

do you remember your first bank account? i don’t mean the one your parents might have opened for you to “teach you the value of money” by taking you and whatever birthday loot you scored on your 6th birthday to deposit it into a savings account and have the teller update your little blue\/red\/silver bankbook …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}