i think the dark is getting to me.
\n\u00a0
\nthe last week or so, my tolerance has plummeted.\u00a0 stupid, dirt, people, news, drama, Haiti, money, cooking, cleaning, commercials all make me angry these days.\u00a0 then, i feel bad for being angry, so i shut down. then i feel bad for shutting down, especially when i know there are people who want to help me feel better, but i just can’t bring myself to deal with them, so i feel bad about that all over again.\u00a0\u00a0
\n\u00a0
\nit’s a vicious cycle.\u00a0 filled with alligators.\u00a0 hungry, toothy alligators.
\n\u00a0
\nadditionally, don’t even try to complain to me about anything trivial, because, you know back in September?\u00a0 i almost died.\u00a0 i was one lucky motherfucker to not drop dead when that humongous blood clot broke off, raced up my leg and lodged itself in my lung.\u00a0\u00a0 if that doesn’t put it all into perspective, i don’t know what will.\u00a0 your iPod won’t work?\u00a0 piss off.\u00a0\u00a0 you didn’t get asked out to an event?\u00a0 shut up.\u00a0
\n\u00a0
\nthe irony is that the withdrawing and being angry has actually fuelled actions i’ve been trying to get a start on for months (and months and months).\u00a0 i’ve been consistently tracking my calories and even — *gasp* — exercising.\u00a0 so, physically, i’m feeling Tony the Tiger grrreat!\u00a0 except that i’m grumpy all the damn time.\u00a0
\n\u00a0
\nlast night, i stopped by the vampires for my weekly blood-letting, then came home to a healthy, well-balanced meal, watched a little Tivo, Wii Fitted & stretched out, had a bath & shaved my yeti legs, then realized it was only 8pm and it was pitch black and i couldn’t really do anything else because i had to go to bed in an hour.\u00a0 WTF?\u00a0 seriously?\u00a0 fuck.
\n\u00a0
\nsee?\u00a0 grumpy.
\n\u00a0
\ni’m blaming the dark.\u00a0 yeah, so it’s vaguely light for a whole 15 minutes when i get home at night. it’s still dark as midnight when i go to work in the morning and by the time i’ve finished dinner it feels like i’ve stayed up way past my bedtime.\u00a0 i was looking at the calendar yesterday, wishing i could take the whole of December and January off next year, just to avoid all this darkness shit.\u00a0 it’s nice out there right now, but i can’t be out there right now because, hey, i have to go to work every day.\u00a0 fucking work.\u00a0 stupid money!\u00a0 where the hell is my sugar daddy, anyway?\u00a0 i’d make an excellent haus frau, you know.\u00a0 just hook me up!
\n\u00a0
\nif anyone has the power to bend space and time, i’d love to jump straight to March first.\u00a0 it may not be all that light out yet, but at least i’ll be on vacation.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i think the dark is getting to me. \u00a0 the last week or so, my tolerance has plummeted.\u00a0 stupid, dirt, people, news, drama, Haiti, money, cooking, cleaning, commercials all make me angry these days.\u00a0 then, i feel bad for being angry, so i shut down. then i feel bad for shutting down, especially when i …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2764"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2764\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}