{"id":2779,"date":"2010-08-27T09:48:20","date_gmt":"2010-08-27T09:48:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog2\/?p=2779"},"modified":"2010-08-27T09:48:20","modified_gmt":"2010-08-27T09:48:20","slug":"wheres_the_love_1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wheres_the_love_1\/","title":{"rendered":"where’s the love?"},"content":{"rendered":"

let’s see… have i told you lately that i love you? no? i’m not surprised. i’m not in a very loving frame of mind these days. except with pizza and my couch.
\nand, because i’m having a really hard time finding reasons to love, i’m going to make a list of things which make me happy — or, at least, don’t piss me off. because i really need a reminder that life isn’t as shitty as it feels to me right now.
\n– cats.<\/b> i got to play with my best friend’s cat the other day. he’s so soft and purry and pretty. i heart cats. when my super comes to fix my floor, i’m going to find out, once and for all, if i can get a cat. if the answer is yes, that’s it. no more talk. i’m going to go find me something soft and fuzzy to love.
\n– HD.<\/b> o.m.g. yeah, now i get what all the fuss is about. of course, it’s all thanks to the new (to me) plasma tv and super-cheap Telus tv service i just switched to. wow. yeah, i can’t wait to see Castle in HD. all that yummy Nathan Fillion goodness all big and pore-rich? *drool*
\n– sewing.<\/b> i can’t entirely tell if this makes me happy yet, but the IDEA of it certainly does. i signed up for a sewing 101 class at Spool of Thread next saturday. i’m ridiculously excited to go and learn how to make a tote bag out of super-yummy fabrics.
\n– kingsley.<\/b> i love air conditioning. i love keyless entry. i love power steering. i love how quiet it is. i love that it goes when i tell it to and stops when i tell it to. i love warranties. i love new car smell (which i can’t smell anymore). i love driving without fear for the first time in far too many years.
\n– canadian health care.<\/b> it’s coming up a year since my NDE and i can’t say enough good things about paramedics, nurses and general hospital staff. i had surgery, then suffered near-fatal complications, and everyone involved in my care and treatment was beyond awesome (except for that one ER doctor who will go unnamed). i am, and will always be grateful that i live in a country where i don’t have to hesitate for a moment before seeking medical care. i know that help is there for me, no matter how much money i have or what my standing in society. the system is not perfect, but it saved my life. i love canada.
\n– mcgillicuddy.<\/b> for my birthday, i bought myself a Mac Mini and it’s so nice to have a computer which Just Works. hell, it’s also a media PC since i have it connected to my tv via HDMI. no more transferring files from my computer to the DVD player via DVD\/USB\/SD-card. just click-click and bam! more HD goodness! plus, it’s tiny and cute and i no longer have that ugly, noisy box sitting on my floor filling up with dust and spiders.
\n– emergency fund.<\/b> thanks to my mom & i’s meager lottery win the other week, i now have (well, i will in two weeks) a nice-sized cushion of cash sitting in the orange bank. and, thanks to my Magic Spreadsheet and two years of budget tweaking, i shouldn’t have to touch it except in the case of dire need (which, thanks to the new car purchase, shouldn’t come up often anymore *crosses fingers*). it’s nice to know it’s there, even if i hope i never have to use it for anything.
\n– skirts.<\/b> with age comes a severe decrease in modesty. or maybe that was just a week in hospital with random strangers lifting up my gown several times a day. either way, yeah. i used to be so stupidly ashamed of my fat cankles that i’d never, ever think to bare them, even in the hottest hot or at the prettiest party. now? blah. i’m fat. my legs are fat. it’s hot. i’m going to wear a goddamn skirt! plus, skirts are flouncy and fun. and pretty. and i need something to make me feel pretty. who cares if my Polish peasant legs are stubby and pale. they’re not hurting you, so why should i hide them away? bring on the skirts — let’s twirl!
\n– Christopher Evans.<\/b> he’s stupidly kind and sweet to me, even when i don’t deserve it. he’ll go run to the store to fetch bacon so we can have a yummy breakfast at home. he’ll change my kitchen light bulb because i’m too short to reach it without a teetering tower of chairs and stools. he’ll tell me i’m cute and kiss the back of my neck. he’ll carry the basket at the grocery store even when it gets super heavy and it hurts his sore back. he’ll only complain a little when i make him watch yet another episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker. *gush*
\n– getting rid of stuff.<\/b> i experience a big mental sigh of relief every single time i remove something unused or unloved from my home. it’s as if a physical weight is lifted. i love having bare space around me in my apartment. it feels right. it feels free. it opens up my ability to imagine and relax. when there’s too much stuff<\/em> around me, i feel claustrophobic. i get antsy and anxious and unhappy. i’m currently gearing up for a huge de-clutter. my first priority is to rip all my CDs then find them new homes elsewhere. i don’t know what i’ll do with all that shelf-space! how exciting!!
\nwell, that’s surprising. i didn’t think i’d have that many things which make me happy. i didn’t put down things like bubble tea or not talking or showers, because they have negatives attached to them which almost neutralize their goodness. but, yeah. i guess life doesn’t suck as much as it seems.
\nnow, bring me spicy tuna.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

let’s see… have i told you lately that i love you? no? i’m not surprised. i’m not in a very loving frame of mind these days. except with pizza and my couch. and, because i’m having a really hard time finding reasons to love, i’m going to make a list of things which make me …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-indulgence","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2779","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2779"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2779\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}