you’re in a public washroom. you have to relieve yourself of some serious gas. conscientiously, you wait until you’re alone. then, just as you’re about to let it rip… someone else walks in.
\n“okay,” you think, “i can hold it ’til they leave.” they do their business, but seem to take a long time. finally, you hear the flush and wait for the handwashing to be finished.
\nthe tap shuts off. you eagerly await the fading clicks as they leave you and your flatulance alone. but, no! the water starts running again. there are strange noises as their presence persists. you can feel the gas roiling about in your bowels, just waiting for an opening to escape in a perfumed plume.
\neventually, you give up. the moment has passed. the urge to fart has faded, just as hunger does if you go too long without food. you’re left feeling unsatisfied, frustrated but still bloated.
\nthe end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
you’re in a public washroom. you have to relieve yourself of some serious gas. conscientiously, you wait until you’re alone. then, just as you’re about to let it rip… someone else walks in. “okay,” you think, “i can hold it ’til they leave.” they do their business, but seem to take a long time. finally, …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=282"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}