oh, look.\u00a0 i’m posting. bad things must have happened.<\/p>\n
yeah, i get it.\u00a0 the 2020’s suck.\u00a0 the only truly good thing was getting married (even though that wasn’t without its challenges & impacts, obviously). but, for fuck’s sake. do they have<\/em> to be this unrelenting shitstorm of trauma?<\/p>\n okay, sometimes there are good things. like, we got a new cat last week. his name is Cedar and he didn’t immediately hate Penguin, like Rose did, so that’s good.\u00a0 he licks my nose and sleeps on my chest. and, um, yeah. i think that’s all.<\/p>\n i loved my uncle and i am saddened at his loss, but he was old and unwell for a really long time, so this end to his pain is a blessing for him and a type of relief for his family.\u00a0 i just feel so keenly for his three daughters because i am so acutely aware of how they are feeling right now with the sudden loss of a parent who wholly and unconditionally loved them…<\/p>\n christmas and new years absolutely bottomed me out emotionally.\u00a0 i was at my absolute lowest of the entire last seven months.\u00a0 i was sitting in the shower sobbing and completely unable to process even the most basic of requirements by the end of december. it was bad. i was a little scared for myself. no, i was a lot scared.<\/p>\n but, the last couple of weeks… i’ve been feeling better. actually, kind of okay even.\u00a0 so much so that i’d actually noticed<\/em> that i’d been feeling less bad.\u00a0 it was nice.\u00a0 i was hopeful this was a glimpse of progress.<\/p>\n this news, though, and the empathy i have for my cousins as they navigate this loss and my father for losing his baby brother, have slammed me right back to where i was in june. it feels like i’ve lost mom all over again. and i’m not fucking okay with that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" oh, look.\u00a0 i’m posting. bad things must have happened. my beloved friend has cancer my cat, while initially seeming to rebound, has regressed my uncle (dad’s little brother) passed away on monday yeah, i get it.\u00a0 the 2020’s suck.\u00a0 the only truly good thing was getting married (even though that wasn’t without its challenges & …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3177","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3177"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3177\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3179,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3177\/revisions\/3179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}