i’ve been having a lot of vivid, thought-provoking dreams lately. maybe it’s the heat. maybe it’s all the vegetables i’ve been eating. who knows? what’s really haunting me about them is the starring role my exes have been playing in them.
\nit’s bad enough i’ve almost completely lost touch with anyone i’ve had serious feelings for in the last few years. in most of the cases, it’s been for the best. but lately… i’m consumed with the desire to get back into contact with one of them in particular. the dream i had with him in it the other night has not helped that yearning. without success, i’ve searched for an email address for him since it would be less risky to contact him that way than to use the phone number i’ve had for him for the past two years.
\ni really just want to know how he’s doing. to find out how his life is right now. then i wonder if the only reason i want to contact him is that i’ve forgotten how horrible it felt to be with him at the end. and it was bad. it usually is when you find out someone’s sleeping with their ex when you are.
\nthere’s very little chance i will pick up the phone to talk to him. i’ll just sit and wonder and drive myself a little batty with speculation. basically, i’m chicken. there’s a lot of risk involved with renewing that relationship, on any level. but, i cared so much for him at one point in my life, it’s very hard to let go of that and not be curious, and hopeful, about his life now.
\ni also miss jason, even though i’m still mad at him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i’ve been having a lot of vivid, thought-provoking dreams lately. maybe it’s the heat. maybe it’s all the vegetables i’ve been eating. who knows? what’s really haunting me about them is the starring role my exes have been playing in them. it’s bad enough i’ve almost completely lost touch with anyone i’ve had serious feelings …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-496","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=496"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=496"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=496"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=496"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}