i was in the middle of a post about how jumpy i’ve been post-september 11th. i was describing the plane which flew by my window this afternoon. how the low-flying prop plane was heading distinctly away from the airport and towards downtown, leaving a slight trail of black smoke. i was writing about how all these horrible scenarios lept to mind as i watched it go past. it crashing into the bridge i go across twice daily. the exhaust actually being a toxic substance being crop-dusted over the populace. i was writing about how i used to love looking up to see an airplane flying by. i’d sigh softly and wish i were in that metal tube travelling somewhere or returning from someplace. now, i look at them and think “that seems rather low. oh my god, that’s big. i hope it doesn’t crash.” i was writing about the fear i feel, just below the surface, in everything i do and everything i see. how that fear isn’t going away whether i think on it or try my best to ignore it and the things which caused it.
\nthen there was a large rumbling noise in the building and the fire alarms went off. i imagined the worst as i gathered my wallet & keys and ushered everyone out of the department as is my duty as fire warden. making my way down the hall, past the screaming alarm bells, i may have looked calm but inside… inside i was screaming for my mommy and praying it was just a false alarm.
\nit was. thank god.
\nnow, i’m home. safe. fed. almost warm. i’m emotionally exhausted and i’m going to have a nap. i hope i don’t dream.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i was in the middle of a post about how jumpy i’ve been post-september 11th. i was describing the plane which flew by my window this afternoon. how the low-flying prop plane was heading distinctly away from the airport and towards downtown, leaving a slight trail of black smoke. i was writing about how all …<\/span> Read More →<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-650","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=650"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=650"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=650"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/fubsy.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=650"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}