the wall of shame is a tradition started three years ago when we found ourselves jotting down our favourite quotes while in each other's company. we have since advanced to a high-tech method of recording these quips (post-its stuck on the wall) to handle the sheer volume of our proliferation.

cast:
heather - mom, scrapbooker, babe and best friend
gary - husband, geek, skinny and sweet
rowan - daughter, three, blond and adorable
hessie - friend, canadian, blogger and also a heather

enjoy...

It's just a long log thing you push up on.    -Hessie Okay, you can get off now.    -Heather I was cleaning your fuzzy!    -Heather (to Hessie) I have long skinny -everything-!    -Gary Oooh.  She's on it the horizontal way!    -Heather He just rubs it in his hands, not on his body.    -Heather You've got a hole! I've got to stick my finger in it!    -Heather (to Gary) I just love the twitching afterwards.    -Hessie No! No, Gary! You gotta get it up!    -Heather You know when I whacked it before...?    -Gary Then I'll -really- go sleep with Gary after cleaning up the goop.    -Hessie Ooh, I'm molesting the baby.    -Hessie No open-mouth kissing for you, missy!    -Hessie "Ow Ow OWWWWWW!" -Heather (clutching desperately at her leg) "You know, maybe if you take off your pants..." -Gary We should pull out the thingie [futon] and do it on there.    -Hessie (to Heather) Wack-Wack Schnatter-Schnatter Boo-Boo    -Trivial Pursuit Are you going to poke me with a big stick?    -Hessie Nice Peter!   -Hessie It's mostly twisting your wrist, but it also goes through the hole in your fingers.    -Heather

Okay, blow. Keep blowing! No, don't stop!    -Hessie Oh yeah, she's rocking her pelvis. I'm trying to do this.    -Hessie It's way down in the crotch where the lip meets the gum.    -Heather I couldn't get up, I was trying!    -Gary Her water's all wet.    -Heather You can rub the bone as much as you want, but it won't go away.    -Heather d'oh!    -Rowan You get a hug and a kiss, and I got a finger!?    -Hessie I have a picture of them [Charlie's Angels] all bound.    -Hessie "Someone tells you to put something in your mouth and then put it in your lap and you just do it?" -Heather "Yeah.  That's why I'm so popular with the boys." -Hessie I love you. But it doesn't mean I want to sleep with you.    -Hessie May I see your wand, please?    -Hessie They don't come, dammit! I need a screwdriver!    -Hessie "I hurt me."   "why?" "I like it."    -Rowan High School kills.    -Heather Way to squeeze with your knees so you don't fall off.    -Hessie You can fix your mom's box.    -Heather Rowan has LOTS of vibrating toys!    -Heather I'm amazed at how thick it is!    -Hessie