it was just a dream…

sometimes, i thinking sleeping is a bad idea. especially when you wake up with such a sense of panic, loss and anxiety as i did this morning. my first set of dreams was of meg, mark, dean and i playing cards, go figure. dean was berating me for not throwing down the jack, but i’d forgotten that kings didn’t beat them. it was about that time i woke up, looked at the clock and decided there was no way i was getting up at 6:30am.
i rolled over, re-squished my pillow and fell back asleep. my next dreams started out fine, so much so i was actually looking forward to how they were going to develop.
meghan, i and a couple other girls were in new york. we had to cross the brooklyn bridge on foot and there were so many people doing the same thing we had to actually walk in a car lane. i specifically remember telling meghan we should walk in file, not abreast, so to reduce our chances of getting hit by a car.
there were hundreds of other people on the bridge, some sitting and eating their lunches, mothers and their kids, business people. i wondered if this wasn’t their actual hang out.
as we approached the center of the bridge, there was a silver volkswagen golf pulled over to the side and there was ross from friends standing beside it. meghan (who now looked liked rachel from friends) asked him what he was doing. i suddenly realized that he was her brother. the really odd part about that is meg’s real brother, todd, does resemble ross around the mouth and nose, but i’d never realized it before. we started giving him a hard time, telling him he should give us a ride to my place, when it was obvious the car was dead and he was waiting for road assistance.
as we’re talking, suddenly the car shakes and an engine fired up. i immediately wondered what was wrong with the car if it could start up that easily, and i wondered if he hadn’t lied and had been waiting there for us. the car gave a lurch and pulled away. as we all turned to look at it, we realized it was attached to a tow truck, which was taking off down the bridge at breakneck speeds. ross realized that someone had stolen his car and started running off the bridge after the truck, obviously in vain.
i felt so horrible that he’d been a victim of the tow-truck scam. we all did. i thought about calling the cops, but there wasn’t much they could do without a plate or description, none of which we had. after the shock wore off a little, we kept heading for my place.
next thing, we’re half a block from my building (which was somehow in the physical location of where i lived two places ago, but was still the structure i live in now) and i make a grand gesture at the building and announce that is my place. we walk in the front door and i stop. there’s something wrong. horribly wrong.
the first thing i notice is my dresser is gone. then that my desk is disassembled, lying on the floor and half of it is gone. another shelving unit is bare, and wrapped in plastic. as i walked through the house, i notice almost everything is gone and two of the three doors are sitting wide open. i can’t begin to explain the feeling i had. they had even disassembled the toilets and had them stacked, ready to cart off.
i had such a feeling of dread. had i locked the doors? there’s no obvious sign of forced entry. was it someone from the party i had last week? i knew i shouldn’t have had that many people over. they’re going to come back! we need to get tina’s car out of the driveway and make it look like the place is still empty, then phone the cops and have them here waiting for them!
about that time, there were all these cars pulling into the driveway and i panicked, thinking it was the thieves, only to realize they were my friends who had come to welcome me home from new york. fuck. i didn’t want them here, i want my stuff back! i went into a corner and just started to sob out of frustration and loss. my mind kept going back to the fact that i hadn’t had insurance and there was no way i could afford to replace things without maxing out my credit cards.
the comedy came from a drunken lout who came into the backyard, shouted to his friends across the way that he had to piss really fucking bad, and then proceded to drain his bladder on all our luggage which was sitting outside. i yelled at him, but he just turned his stream towards me and laughed.
it was about that time that i decided i was going to get up, despite what time it was.