these days, i'm obsessed with my pants.
eight weeks ago, i started a 12-week fitness challenge at work. for the low-low price of $150, i would get three months of personally-trained bootcamp classes and nutritional counselling. each four-week period would be assessed with a weigh-in, measurement and body composition analysis. since getting back into the gym was the express reason i got my knee fixed last year, i was super excited to sign up and get going.
then i went to my first class.
day one nearly killed me. at the end of the 45 minutes, i was dizzy, sweaty, nauseated and thought i might die. i barely made it down the stairs to my car to drive home and crawl up the Very Steep Stairs into my apartment where i collapsed on my bed and could barely get up an hour later to go feed myself. the next two days my legs and ass were so sore, walking up stairs felt like all the muscles in the lower half of my body were ripping apart. it's not a feeling i ever want to experience ever again in my life.
every week my trainer, Rocky, would add new and more painful exercises to the circuit for his pleasure and our pain. i learned that my left leg was considerably weaker than my right (which stands to reason) and my hamstrings were practically non-existent. i also learned that i turn a scary shade of purple when exercising and when people see me like that they think i'm going to die a lot sooner than i do. i re-learned that i like weights and hate cardio.
the first four-week weigh-in sucked for me. i lost a grand total of .8 pounds (1.16 fat loss with a .36 lb muscle gain). it wasn't for lack of effort in the classes, that's for damn sure. it turns out that the food side of fitness/weight loss is probably more important than the exercise. you see, i'd sat through all the meetings about the food plan and kind of poo-pooed it all because, as a fat girl, i've been paying attention and learning about food and nutrition almost all of my life. so, when it came to actually walking the walk with what Rocky wanted me to eat, i played fairly fast and loose with his recommendations.
each week after submitting my food log to him for review, i'd get an email back chastising me for this or saying i should try not to eat that. i slowly made alterations to my eating, but i was really resisting all the extra work and expense of my food requirements. i got tired of cleaning, cooking cooking and eating vegetables. i got annoyed with the added costs for yogurt and starch snacks and all that damn protein. out of that frustration, i would go and totally pig out on weekends, justifying it because a cheat day was healthy! and i'd been working out! and i'd been so good during the week!
alas, that first weigh-in proved me dead wrong. i was upset with myself for literally paying to fail. so, i looked at the numbers and vowed that my second weigh-in would kick the first's ass. i was so devoted to killing my next weigh-in i went to class not once, but THREE TIMES during my VACATION! who am i?!
last monday was my second weigh-in. this time, i lost 8.8 pounds (6.51 fat loss and 2.29 muscle loss - oops) for a grand total of 9.6 pounds! take that week four weigh-in! i kicked your ass good!
okay, 9.6 pounds isn't a lot, i know. especially considering the amount i have to lose, but it's all about the progress. three months ago, i was heavier than i've ever been and i was getting quite depressed and scared for my health and future (or lack thereof). my doctor put me on high blood pressure medication. i was starting to realize that my pants weren't fitting and i might not be able to find a bigger size to fit me. this challenge came at exactly the right time and i am so grateful to be able to be a part of it. this isn't just about getting into my "skinny jeans". this is about saving my life and, after last September, i have a much more acute awareness of how easy that is to lose.
so, back to the pants.
i wasn't sure, but about two weeks ago, i thought i started noticing that my jeans were falling down. at least a little. i couldn't be entirely sure because there's a small amount of stretch in them and it could have been the day three slackness which always happens after they get worn a few days in a row. but this week? yeah, my pants are definitely falling down. and, while i KNOW this is good thing, i find i'm getting really annoyed by having to hike them up every half-dozen steps. they're not baggy enough to warrant a belt or replacing them with smaller pants (not that i can afford to buy new right now -- hello, i bought a car!), so i'm in this frustrating in-between-land i'm going to dub Saggy Crotch Ville. step-step-hitch-step-step-hitch. that's me walking down the hall. SEXY!
the worst part? i'm annoyed that i'm annoyed that my pants are too big! WTF?
so, eight weeks in, my pants are falling down and, whenever my muscles or joints aren't screaming at me for all this abuse, i feel freaking fantastic! i can't help but wonder just how awesome i'll feel in another month! hell, i might even have to go buy a belt!
finally, i wasn't going to make this public, but maybe putting it out there will give me even more incentive. i'm currently in dire need of a haircut. in addition, i've decided that i'm going to get it coloured to hide the many, many greys which have started popping up unbidden. i could go this weekend and be happy, but i've given myself a condition: no haircut until i've lost 20 pounds total. i'm hoping that by the next weigh-in i'll have reached that mark and i can go get a fancy new do just in time for my birthday. wish me luck!
and don't laugh at my saggy pants, okay?
