i find myself increasingly uncomfortable when people mention procreation.

i, myself, never wanted kids. when i hit 40, i briefly thought about having kids in only the most abstract “who will look after me when i’m old” way. my oldest friend and i joked that when we were 65 we’d co-adopt an 18-year-old to help us in our dotages. other than that, nope. no biological clock up in this bitch. i only ever wanted cats.

now, i’m a bonus mom to three kids. what? how did that happen?

but, recently, i find myself thinking – a lot – about how selfish and cruel it is to bring a child into the world we now live in. it feels like an act driven purely by ego. and don’t even get me started on people who have more than two kids. fuuuck. no. just don’t.

it’s dumb and emotional, but everything is fucked. why would you want to literally condemn your precious junk-puppets to a life worse than yours was? it seems counter-intuitive to me.

“but, you’ve never felt real love until you’ve had a child.”

bullshit. if you need to have a child in order to feel unconditional love for another human being then that’s an issue with YOUR ability to connect to someone who you don’t have a controlling interest in. who isn’t dependent on you. who literally can’t walk away if you do shitty stuff to them.

it just feels gross.

then i feel gross because these people making new humans are so happy. they’re excited by the possibilities when all i see are the hardships, complications and longer-term struggles both they, their children, and everything & everyone on the planet are going to face.

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