i’m finding myself in a state of being constantly bombarded by awful.

  • awful news about friends & family
  • awful news about politics
  • awful news about technology
  • awful news about money
  • awful news about the environment
  • awful news about heroes

a long-term, local acquaintance dies of cancer. an equally long-term friend is diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. an even longer-term online friend suffers a stroke.  friends’ parents are falling ill/dying.  my last uncle is having new and scary cardiac issues.  friends’ pets are passing away.  my cat continues her slow decline.

every time i listen to the news, i hear about all the hate and fear in the world.  anti-trans, anti-intellect, anti-women, anti-reason, anti-government, anti-anything-not-christian, anti-acceptance.  everything is driven by money, of which no one has enough and i’m watching the world become unaffordable for most everyone, myself included. the weather is absurd and only getting more dangerous. nature is sobbing and we’re still arguing over straws vs. industrial chemical emissions, shaming individuals for not recycling their coffee cups when one location of one national company produces enough plastic waste for thousands.

people are shitty and doing shitty things, after they’ve done amazing things, so those now become shitty by association.  every piece of technology is recording everything we do all the time and then we’re surprised that we’re being commodified and sold off and to and turned into nothing but a means to inflate stock prices to help send white men to space.  outside is both dying and killing us.  there is no place left on the planet which is not affected by microplastics or forever chemicals.  we’ve effectively ruined everything.

you wouldn’t think it from reading this, but my mental health is currently much improved from its state the previous months. i’m definitely not as sad, but i’m certainly more disappointed.

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