33 = 92 = too hot to handle

the more i think about it, the more upset i get.
i was sitting on the futon, snarfing down white cheddar popcorn and watching the hockey game when the phone rang. it was my soon-to-be-ex-landlady. i assumed she was calling to thank me for the lovely thank you card i got her to thank her for being such a good first landlord to me for the last four years. well, she wasn’t. she was calling to find out if i’m the person who has been leaving early and stomping down the stairs and waking one of my neighbours up in the morning.
let’s get some things straight: yes, i leave early. i have been for the last four years. no, i don’t slam the door. it’s got one of those hydraulic hinge-y things so it closes itself. no, i don’t stomp down the stairs. there are four, they are outside, and no one’s suite is under them.
i told her that i haven’t changed my routine since i moved in and that i didn’t believe i made any extraneous noise in the a.m. but that i would make a concerted effort to be even more quiet. i’m not mean and i know how annoying it is to be woken up by other’s inconsiderateness.
what i didn’t tell her was that i’ve been putting up with other people’s noise and mess for the last four years and have not once complained about it. i didn’t want it to turn into a bitch fest. i suck it up because i’m a good neighbour.
i don’t complain about my upstairs neighbour’s music going until late on work nights or her potting soil or water messing up my balcony when she re-pots her plants. i don’t complain that my fridge freezes half of its contents and the only way to make it stop is to turn the freezer down so it doesn’t freeze anything. i don’t whine about whoever has the white car and parks it in a crappy spot for weeks which screws up the entire parking along the street. i don’t complain that the weather-stripping i asked for three years ago to maybe save some money on heating in the winter and keep bugs out never got installed.
aww, so someone got woken up by footsteps. poor baby. go back to sleep then. how many times have i had to go to sleep with one or another of my neighbours being noisy when i was trying to get to sleep at 9pm because i had to get up at 5:30 the next morning? i didn’t complain when stupid, noisy upstairs lady took up aerobics on her squeaky floor while i was trying to nap. god, don’t you people have anything better to do than to bitch about a freaking door closing too loudly? fuck.
i’m seriously thinking about phoning edith up tonight and telling her all this. what do i care? she’s sold the place. she won’t be my landlord after june 30th. i was going to wait to tell the new owners about my broken fridge, but fuck that. i’m going to tell edith. that’ll teach her to mess mit mich! (that’s funny ’cause they’re german. laugh. i said laugh!)