all aired out

i don’t know where to begin.
spending the weekend with mom was fun. as previously mentioned, i spent a lot of money buying swanky new sheets, some fun, on-sale clothes and flip-flops, none of which i really need, but there’s just something about the island that makes me go shopping. crazy island! we ate the hazelnut mousse cake she “baked” me for my birthday, went to see charlie’s angels: full throttle, had an international I-food night with indian, italian and israeli items on the menu. we even stopped in at the casino where, in 20 minutes, i doubled my money. woot!
i finished harry potter and the order of the phoenix on the ferry home. want me to tell you who dies? *giggle* don’t worry, i’m not that mean. of course, now i have to wait an indeterminate number of years until the next book comes out. grr. remind me never to start an unfinished series again.
i’ve booked my flight and reserved my (very first!) rental car for my 8 days in northern ontario. less than a month to go! i still have to find a dress for the wedding and figure out if they’re getting cash or a real present from the western cousin they see once every seven years. aahh! stress!
morgan has decided that he never wants me to talk to him ever again. i’m sure you’ve all deduced that something went screwy with the visit from the boy. posts appeared then disappeared or were quickly edited. he asked me (and i use that phrase lightly) to not write about him or post my photos which had him in them or he would never talk to me again. i capitulated in the hopes of salvaging a lasting friendship with him. that may have been the wrong thing to do.
i hate that i censored myself and my feelings for him. now that he’s decided he no longer wants any contact from me, i feel free to write as i see fit, without regard for other’s tender underbellies.
that being said, i really don’t have anything to say on the matter. he had much stronger feelings for me than i had for him. i didn’t want him to alter his entire life on the chance that i would maybe come around. the responsibility was too awesome for me to bear. i thoroughly enjoy him in many ways, but i just didn’t feel enough to give him the committment he was seeking. he didn’t like that. he didn’t deal well with that admission. he still isn’t, obviously.
i had hoped that we would stay close friends. we have much fun and there is a lot of comfort when we’re together. he’s a wonderful man and he’s taught me many things i’ll always treasure, but i suspected this decision of his would come eventually. i’m not surprised, nor am i very upset. i wish him speedy healing and much luck and love in his life.