suckitus maximus

i was having a pretty good day yesterday, even with all the sneezing and snotty snorting. i got myself into a righteous groove with some work and made a huge dent in some really yucky stuff i’ve been avoiding. on the way home i stopped at futureshop to return a bag i bought, save-on where i found some china lily soy sauce (my absolute favourite which seems to have totally disappeared from every store shelf but that one), and the library where i registered and picked up a book i’m really excited to start reading.
then i opened the mailbox.
inside were three fake bills from “Domain Registry of Canada” telling me that three of my domains are set to expire and that i should send them $40 for each of them. luckily i’m not an idiot, so i didn’t get suckered, but they looked awfully official. fuckers. the really amusing thing, to me at least, was that the three notices were for every domain BUT fubsy.net. losers.
then, the pièce de résistance, a letter from capital one mastercard telling me that “due to a charge posted to your account after it closed” they’ve reopened my account. they didn’t give me any details. instead, they said “in a few days, customer service will be sending the details”. uh, yeah, that’s not helpful. there was no way i’m about to wait for a letter when you’re telling me that there’s a charge to an account i closed in FEBRUARY. so, i phone the 1-800 number where a creaky computer voice tells me that i owe them $1000. uh, what?
to make a long story as short as possible, i finally navigate through the menus (which REALLY are constructed to deter you from talking to a real person: it took THREE levels of menu before pressing 0 to talk to a human worked. that pissed me off) to talk to a very nice girl who put me on hold for fifteen minutes while she looked into the situation. anyway, while i’m on hold i start thinking back and it comes to me that, yeah, i think they might be right. fuckers.
i made a payment to them, which i cancelled two hours later, because i was planning to go to the bank to refinance. when the bank paid off the card, and capital one sent me a statement, that statement showed both the payment i cancelled (wtf?) and the payment from the bank. of course, that meant it showed a credit of $1000. i TOTALLY forgot that i’d cancelled the payment, or made any payment at all, so i called capital one and told them to mail me a cheque for the overpayment so they could close the account, which they did and everyone was happy.
until now. FOUR MONTHS LATER. why the HELL did they show that payment on the statment? why didn’t they catch this in the MONTH it took for them to send me the “overpayment”? now i’m on the fucking hook for a grand i don’t have, two weeks after i spend all my money on an ibook. ugh. i’m really not happy about the situation. obviously.
i spent a lot of time last night wrangling some numbers trying to figure out how to pay it off. which i can’t. there’s just no way. after paying for lucy and cleaning out all my other cashable accounts i’ll still be $500 short with absolutely no cash reserves in the bank. i have to call them back tonight, tell them i figured it out, get them to reopen the account and then start paying it off monthly.
it just makes me so MAD. i was really, really, really proud of myself for not owing any credit card companies a penny. now, thanks to their stupid practices and MY inattention, i’m in the hole.
i wonder if i have anything i can sell. anyone want to order some photocards? or rent a housegirl? i make a mean omelette!