mystery flatulence theatre 3000

by

you’re in a public washroom. you have to relieve yourself of some serious gas. conscientiously, you wait until you’re alone. then, just as you’re about to let it rip… someone else walks in.
“okay,” you think, “i can hold it ’til they leave.” they do their business, but seem to take a long time. finally, you hear the flush and wait for the handwashing to be finished.
the tap shuts off. you eagerly await the fading clicks as they leave you and your flatulance alone. but, no! the water starts running again. there are strange noises as their presence persists. you can feel the gas roiling about in your bowels, just waiting for an opening to escape in a perfumed plume.
eventually, you give up. the moment has passed. the urge to fart has faded, just as hunger does if you go too long without food. you’re left feeling unsatisfied, frustrated but still bloated.
the end.

Posted in: words

10 Thoughts on “mystery flatulence theatre 3000”

  1. (the shorter)Heather on May 8, 2001 at 15:39 said:

    Oh, just lift your legs out straight so they can’t ID the shoes and let ‘er rip. ;)

  2. Goddess on May 8, 2001 at 16:20 said:

    Let it pass while they flush!!

  3. paige on May 8, 2001 at 18:54 said:

    Or flush your own toilet while you fart.

  4. (the shorter)Heather on May 8, 2001 at 20:14 said:

    And you know the male readers are just sitting there shaking their heads in confusion over this whole topic…

  5. paige on May 8, 2001 at 20:49 said:

    unfortunately, some women i work with are, too – if they read this. i can’t imagine ever getting to the point where i can say hi to someone in the bathroom, and then proceed to blow ass while they know it’s me. or if anyone were in there. or if there were even a chance of anyone being there. it’s awful.

  6. iain on May 9, 2001 at 04:24 said:

    the best thing is walking into the toilets at work to find a colleague stood at the urinal jabbering away to someone he thinks is somewhere behind him but who has actually already walked off and left him :)

  7. paige on May 9, 2001 at 07:46 said:

    well, heather, aren’t you lucky? yours is the only site so far that i can comment on. i’m going to comment on everyone’s site right here! is that okay?

  8. dangerman on May 9, 2001 at 10:56 said:

    LOL…man I love fart stories.

  9. Zippygirl on May 9, 2001 at 16:36 said:

    Yeah, I have enough issues with just peeing when there’s someone else in the room! I do not get the girls that can laugh and chatter while they’re going! I’m sitting there thinking “please go away!”

  10. iain on May 10, 2001 at 09:40 said:

    i ate 2lb of pitted dates. lots of ferting and sloppy ploppy :(

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