whenever i feel uninspired or meek with words i tend to start linking to outside sources rather than risk typing my feet into my mouth. it is much easier to just let someone else do the talking sometimes. “here, read this,” takes so much pressure off.
i can’t seem to formulate a complete train of thought lately. i get a blurb and when i try to expound, it whithers pathetically. or, i can have this prolific mental prose running through my brain, but when i sit at the keyboard, i can’t retrieve it. it’s so very agonizing. especially when it’s something i was rather pleased with.
i was just reading my archives. i don’t do it often; but, when i do, i’m usually surprised by them. “holy shit,” i think, “that’s good!” a lot of the time i don’t give myself enough credit, or any at all. but, as i read them and start to feel a little confident, a little pleased with myself, that’s when the doubt creeps in. the doubt that i’m only going downhill from there. that i’ve used up my quota of creativity and i’m trying desperately to build something great out of the stale crumbs which are left.
on the topic of bees, i’ve decided that if they were bigger and less likely to sting me, i’d like a nice, fat, fuzzy one as a pet.
naaaaah… you get better every day. like wine ;)
me, i definitely know i’m going downhill. from all-star teenage creative prodigy to worthless alcoholic bum by the time i’m 30. but i try to be optimistic – after all, that means i’ve still got 6 more years of worthiness to squander :)
flattery will still get me nagging you about the stuff you have yet to post to me. =)
i take it all back then, you talentless bitch O-:)
*cough*
i knew it. =)
ooh, what’s going on here, kids, hmm?
Heather, you have massive amounts of talent. And some of it comes from the fear that you have none. Trust me, honey, you would know if you had nothing left. Fear is a great motivator.
Iain, um, keep up the good work!
oh well. at least i can always fall back on my sideline career as a porn star…
you should get the award for the best blog-headlines! :)
I wouldn’t come here everyday to read your blog if you weren’t interesting. I love reading your page!!!!
I love bees. One of my favorite books as a kid was about bees. It had the cutest drawings in it and a great little story. It’s weird that you mention bees because I thought about this book just last week and was wondering if I still had it. Everyday since I’ve thought about it and wondered if I had it.
Anyway, you rock!!!!
damn right!
I’m not even going to bother arguing the talent point because, well, I know it won’t do any good :p But, on the topic of bees… I had to stop Rowan the other day from catching one. She’s been obsessed with bugs lately, and a bee was flying near her, lazy, slow, big – that sort of bee, and she was reaching out to grab it as I looked up from my book. I think the poor thing was more afraid of me yelling at her out of the blue to “get over here! leave that alone!!!!” than I was of her getting stung.
Perhaps I should have let it sting her, I didn’t get stung until I was about 10 or so and remember being completely terrified every time I saw a bee before then because I thought being stung would be SO bad – and when it happened, it wasn’t great, of course, but it sure wasn’t as horrible as I’d imagined. I guess that’s true of a lot of things – fear of the unknown being worse than the actual experience.
Labor, however, was much worse. ;)
ick. labour. *crosses legs*