This may be the last post that I can squeeze in here before Heather returns and wonders “What the hell was I thinking?”. But I know I’ll be looking forward to some spiffy pictures posted here soon.
It seems kinda empty with just words, doesn’t it?
The general near-consensus to my query about reading material was that I should not take any classic liturature with me on my public reading adventures, because a) I want people to assume I’ve already read all that stuff in high school or college, and b) it will look like I’m trying too hard. I should instead leave those works for late night, under-the-covers reading. I’m going to take that advice with Crime and Punishment.
And I should most definitely not take magazines with minimally dressed girls in them. Right?
So let me see if I got this right. Reading is sexy, as long as its not skin magazines, pretentious classics or any titles that might have negative word associations?
This is hard. I’m taking a cookbook next time.
Its bruce again. You know.. Mr. 10,000th comment?
(Sounds of trumpets blaring)
I’ve done the math, and I’m sure that the first threads of my welcome won’t start unraveling until about Thursday, the day that Heather is destined to return. But I figure that as long as I have access to such kind and literate people, I might as well do some research on a topic of recent interest.
I have three new books that I might start reading; The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, Walden by Henry David Thoreau, or Crime and Punishment by Fyoder Dostoevsky. Each has its merits; social justice, personal transformation, a cool russian name…
But really, what’s going to be the deciding factor, is this; which is more likely to impress a girl?
Hi, I’m bruce, Mr. 10,000th comment. As part of that prize package I’ve been left the keys to Freakishly Prompt while Heather is off. I, as well as a few others have been invited to “guest blog”, with the only instructions being “just make it literate and fun”.
As an Okie (someone from Oklahoma — its a state in the U.S.) we don’t really do literate. Well, except for S.E. Hinton who also happens to live around here somewhere. And if any of you have ever ventured over to my website you’ll see that I don’t really do fun either, just politics.
But I do like guest blogging, because it reminds me of housesitting. Especially this sweet housesitting gig I once had, where I was given free run of the swimming pool, the DVD collection, the imported beer in the garage fridge, and Omaha Steaks.
My girlfriend and I would head over after work, feed the animals, water the garden, swim in the pool, drink beer, grill steaks and watch movies until the crack of dawn.
And this… this, is nothing like that. Except the drinking of the beer.
three times in the last week i’ve stabbed or sliced my hands with knives. the chef’s knife got me while i was doing dishes. the bread knife got me while i was cutting my sandwich in half. the pocket knife got me while i was trying to open a compact flash package. i swear, my knives have all tasted blood and they liked it.
so, it’ll be very quiet around here for the next week. i’m running away to the island after work tonight and i won’t be home again until some time on thursday. i won’t have easy access to a computer, which will be interesting and challenging since i hope to take a lot of photos (see? this is exactly why i need an ibook!). i guess i’ll just have to be more judicious with my snapping than i’d normally be.
my vacation plans are simple: relax, enjoy, play. i have to do a little bit of studying for my final exam, too, i guess. i’ll be in victoria from saturday afternoon onward. i’m doing serious praying for a rainless week. the weatherman is trying to disappoint me, but i have faith.
have a great week everyone!
i’ve been collecting things to write about, but i haven’t actually made a note of them anywhere physical or digital. this is dangerous because then these random “blog thoughts” pop into my head during the day or night and i fear that these wonderful, witty, insightful gems will disappear into the ether like most of my unspoken deep thoughts. *cough*
let’s see… did you know that $100 only buys three bras? you shouldn’t bake cookies while on the phone: some will be over-done, others will be under-done. don’t let boy trouble inspire you to eat pizza & drink lots of vodka or your new jeans won’t fit anymore. jeremy is evil and has planted seeds of ibooks in my head. i am so so so excited to go to victoria i have no words. the right side of my bed has started squeaking; instead of fixing it, i’m sleeping on the left side. a little bit of cheese makes a sandwich good.
back in august (which is pretty much a lifetime ago), i asked y’all to go vote for my photo to be on a jones soda label. i don’t know if you did, but someone at jones liked it and NOW MY PHOTO IS ON A SODA BOTTLE LABEL! ohmygodohmygod. i’d actually forgotten that i’d submitted a photo, it’d been so long. then to receive a letter and six labels in the mail yesterday just made me crazy with joy. yay! i’m thrilled!
last night was my final java class. woo! it’s looking like if i pass the final, i should be able to just pass the course. to be on the safe side, i’m aiming for a solid 70% on the exam, just to pad my margins a little. unfortunately, i won’t see my school buddies again this term because i’ll be in victoria when they write the final. boo. i really enjoy having friends to chat and commisserate with through a course.
in other school-related news, i’ve decided that i’m not taking my last course next term, but waiting until september. i’m just not into the school thing and i think it’d be better if i take some time off and concentrate on some more creative learning.
this morning i’m still revelling in a very sensual dream i had right before i woke up. in it, this boy i know and enjoy laid me down onto his bed, cupped my chin in his large paw and proceeded to kiss me in a manner which i didn’t know i could be kissed. it was so intense and arousing… *shakes it off* yeah, dreams are good.
kinda bloo, but not really. kinda excited, but not really. kinda disappointed, but not really. kinda sexy, but not really. kinda good, but not really. kinda smart, but not really. kinda pretty, but not really. kinda special, but not really. kinda angry, but not really. kinda lazy, but not really. kinda talented, but not really. kinda sleepy, but not really. kinda miserable, but not really.
you know, i could get used to four-day weekends. even after going into work yesterday (yes, on easter sunday), i find myself in a great place. the apartment is clean and tidy, i’ve a short work week ahead of me and then a week off to look forward to. i’m not even stressing about school crap (since there’s no point in stressing anymore).
today, i’m going to do a little bit of laundry and go bra-shopping. i know, i’m way too exciting for words. how was your weekend?
congratulations, bruce! you’re the author of the 10,000th comment!
it’s 8:45 and i just got out of bed. i’m sitting here in my underpants, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, waiting for the kettle to boil and bring me some coffee. unfortunately, the kettle hasn’t actually been trained to bring me coffee, but i’m half asleep. i’m allowed to dream.
i spent some post-vodka time last night reading old logs. i used to be a huge hoarder of logs. i’d log anything. i kept all my mail: email, snail mail, talker mail. if i could log it, i would. it proved useful occassionally. mostly, it was just a way to feel like i wouldn’t forget anything that happened. that there was actually some record somewhere of the nice (or nasty) things people said to me.
unfortuntely, i started reading old morgan logs last night. a combination of boy trouble, having a brief email correspondence with paul-from-the-past and posting that photo of him yesterday got me curious. what was it that i saw in him? what the hell did he see in me? it was kind of nice to see so many declarations of unflagging love. then i skipped to the end and saw all the hateful, angry words he threw at me across cyberspace…
it doesn’t upset me to read, exactly. mostly, it makes me feel old and tired and very, very sad. both for him and myself. i didn’t do things right by him, i freely admit that. i didn’t know how to say “i like you, enjoy spending time with you, but there’s just not that something i need to make it serious, permanent.”
that’s what annoys me so much about people and emotion. why is it that one person can feel so much for someone yet not have it returned? isn’t that just cruel? you shouldn’t be attracted to people who aren’t attracted to you right back. it would solve so many headaches! well, at least mine.
confession: i was actually working on two crushes.
both are boys i’ve known for a long time. one is someone i’d never really considered crushing on for many reasons, mostly because i just hadn’t spent that much time talking to him and didn’t really know if there was that possibility. the other is a return crushee. he’s the person with which i feel completely myself. there’s no pretension or worries about what he’s thinking when we hang. it’s so nice and casual, that’s probably why whenever we do hang i spend the wake bobbing in choppy emotional water.
neither of them are going to amount to anything, i’m sure. they’re just current examples of my being attracted to boys who don’t quite like me back enough to take that extra step past casual whatever to “gotta see you again or i might explode”.
sorry, i didn’t mean this to turn into a woe is me post. it’s just a dump of all the things i’ve been thinking this week. it’s better out than in, my mom always said.
“You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.”
“There are people who can love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.”
yeah, i got nothin’.
my supervisor is away today. i’m more interested in going back home and crawling into my freshly laundered bed and staying there for the remainder of my four-day weekend with a smoochable boy bringing me books, vodka and pizza than working.
wade chose today’s photo. i haven’t been shooting in so long there’s nothing new for me to post. i really need to go outside.
oh, btw, happy easter.
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okay, i’m over the crush.
well, not really, but i’ve decided i really don’t enjoy being that crazed when there’s little hope of reciprocation or consumation. i don’t want to be that stupid, gushing, needy, annoying girl who’s fawning ridiculously over some guy, trying desperately to get him to give her just an inkling that she’s the least bit important to him. it’s a waste of energy and it’s really bad for my self-confidence.
therefore, i’m shutting down all the daydreams and fantasies. i’m no longer waiting for a phone call or a message. i’m not talking about, thinking about or making plans. done.
yeah, i know. that’ll last five minutes. at least i tried.
i’m crushing really hard and i’m trying not to get too worked up, but i’m failing and it means all those anxious, yearning feelings and the blank walls and empty spaces of my apartment feel blanker and emptier while all i want to do is have them crawl into my bed with me at night and hold me until i fall asleep or come up behind me and kiss my neck or phone and leave me a goddamn voicemail just because they wanted to hear my voice while i was away at work.
spring sucks.
no matter how much you want to, don’t take anything a drunk person says to heart.
in other news, we’re very near the 10,000th comment on this here blog. i’ve decided that the 10,000th commenter shall get a set of 4 greeting cards made from their choice of any of the photos i’ve posted on the site. so comment away! you could get free stuff!
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i am in a supremely foul mood. i’m just WAITING for someone to get in my way so i can fucking tear into them. oh. my. god. i just want to let LOOSE and unload all my darkness.
*growl*
update: i got to snap at someone. i feel much better now.
seems i’m doing everything possible to avoid yucky tasks. i’m far too preoccupied with other things. i want to run away (i just need a place to run to).
save me.
i’m ready to give up. i’m so overwhelmed with my current class, i just don’t know if i can make it to the end. while i’d love to wholly blame my instructor for my troubles, he can only get half the blame. the other half is split between my procrastination and my inate troubles understanding object-oriented programming. my brain doesn’t work like that. i like top-down, structured, procedural programming. classes fuck me the hell up.
that being said, i honestly believe that if my instructor was even a half-better teacher that i’d have less difficulty. i missed a class two weeks ago because i was so exhausted and worn out from the day that going to class seemed as insurmountable as climbing kilimanjaro and reading his notes only confused me more. i learned more in one evening with ritchie than i did in six weeks of class. if i hadn’t had that night with my java guru i wouldn’t have had any idea what he was talking about last night when he finally got to collections. this man can’t explain his way out of a paper bag!
ARGH!
on top of that, we have three assignments due in three weeks, on top of the labs which are more like assignments themselves AND i’m going to be in victoria the week of the final exam because classes got bumped because of the BCGEU labour dispute so i either have to: wait three weeks to write the final (which means getting an incomplete in the course, which will be amended later), come back early from victoria to write it (which just plain sucks) or get a fourth assignment to do and hand in after i return (which also means an incomplete AND the bother of having to figure out another of his crappy assignments).
in addition to all that, i’m seriously considering waiting until september to take my last course because i just can’t bear the idea of getting another crappy instructor and having to live through twelve more weeks of a course i don’t care about just because i want to finish what i’ve started and get that useless associate certificate.
oy.
well, if you’re looking for me over the next two weeks, i’ll be the one doing java homework. no more fun for me. bastards.