no matter what anyone else thinks, i’m the funniest person on the planet to my mom.
it was a fun-filled, action-packed, event-laden, extra-long weekend in which i did my darndest to spoil my maternal unit completely rotten for her 67th birthday. i’m fairly certain i succeeded. i’d have photos up this morning, but i think my IP changed while i was away, either that or i forgot to open the FTP port after installing WoW.
i’ve discovered that the Victoria casino doesn’t like me all that much, boys are unreliable, driving fast is fun, flirtinis rock the free world, Lisa Loeb is tiny, i love watching people open presents, my mom loves my new apartment, i miss my own bed when i’m away and clapping for 15 seconds is harder than it sounds.
oh, and if i don’t get a new camera soon, i might just die from frustration.
you know you’re a geek when you’re sitting at the back of the class and actually getting excited because the new language you’re learning has type safe standard input and output objects. at least i wasn’t alone in my glee. i know i’ve mentioned it before, but i’m so glad i have Shane as my school buddy. we get along and work really well together. plus, it’s just comforting to know that there will be at least one friendly face in each new class i take. although, this C++ course is half-full with people i recognize from previous courses. it’s kind of freaky.
today is my friday! my mom’s coming to visit! i ate chocolate graham cookies for breakfast! i’m going to Wendy’s for lunch! i hope to spend time with a cute Victoria boy on the weekend!
yeah, life is good.
i’ll fill this up after lunch. i’ve things to say, but i’m starved and woozy.
okay, that’s much better. of course, now i’m stuffed and sleepy, but i suppose that’s the better of two evils, right?
so, i got home from an atypically long and tedious monday at work, totally by-passing the post-work errands i meant to run before i went back to the apartment i’m not quite used to yet, because i was über-bloated from the fourteen pounds of brussel sprouts i ate at lunch and i didn’t think subjecting the world to my de-bloating was a very kind thing to do.
this is where it gets weird.
after deflating a bit, i remembered the photos i had to pick up at London Drugs needed to make up the last of mom’s birthday gifts. i’ve not spent a lot of time investigating the neighbourhood, so i decided to forgo my desire to return to the new Whole Foods Market and just walk up to LD to pick up my prints.
me! walk! to the drug store! voluntarily!
i laced up my Sauconys, shrugged on my hoodie and set out. yeah, okay, so the store is only three blocks from my apartment. stop looking at me like that. you really have to realize that for, um, most of my life i didn’t live within walking distance of most anything. then, when i finally did, the entire slothgirl personna had totally taken over and, hey, i had a bus pass or a shiny new Geo Metro to take me places, didn’t i?
this is where it gets interesting.
on the way back from the store with the prints, the shampoo, the popcorn and the energy snacks for the maternal unit, i walked down Lonsdale instead of the back lanes i’d used on the way up. i counted the following eating establishments on my way:
2 japanese/sushi
2 pizza
2 coffee/gelato
1 greek
1 chinese
1 mexican
1 wrap zone
1 bistro/bakery
1 restaurant/bar
that’s just in the three blocks north of my street, and i’m sure i’ve either forgotten or missed some. holy crap! it’s a really good thing i’m poor and don’t go out to eat much, but it’ll be really handy if i ever: a) get a social life which includes having people over at meal time and nothing in the fridge; b) a social life which includes spending all my time in bed with some warm, sexy, stubbly boy and sending him out to fetch life-giving sustenance to replenish our strenuous lovemaking; or, c) get a better paying job.
tonight is school. i’m really looking forward to it.
you know, i could type out all the boring, alone things i did all weekend, but i don’t think many of you care. really, how interesting is it to read about my watching three movies or buying a frame for my pretty print or moving the webcam for a slightly different angle or cleaning the bathtub or eating soup until i wanted to throw up?
yeah, i didn’t think so.
i will say i’m excited about my three-day week followed by three days of fun and excitement in honour of my mom’s 67th birthday. we have many fun and wonderful plans i’m really quite giddy about. it will be a funfunfun time!
okay, so i came to my senses and realized that after the Summer of Spending, there was no way i could justify buying $115 concert tickets to see rem, even if they are playing in my favourite “big” venue. i mean, really… they’re no great big sea, afterall.
yesterday morning, i woke up with a pre-migraine. i thought i could fight through it, so i had my shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed, swallowed a handful of extra-strength tylenol, emailed my boss to tell him i wouldn’t be coming into work, got undressed, went back to bed, put a towel over my eyes and slept until eleven o’clock. i still wasn’t 100%, so i took another handful of tylenol, drank a mug of tea, made a pot of soup and watched three days worth of starting over. by the time i was scheduled to go to the thursday night financial seminar, i was feeling both better and on my way to worse again.
i’m fairly sure the tension headaches i’ve been experiencing for the past week or so could be cured with some massage therapy for my neck and shoulders. i’ve been noticing that i’m holding a lot of stress there. it almost feels as if my head is sinking into my shoulders, like a turtle retracting into its shell. it’s not a very fun feeling. someone make me a massage appointment and i’ll go. it’s just the picking a place and making the call that i’m putting off. work even pays for it, so that’s not even a reason to linger. i guess i must enjoy the discomfort. why else would i let myself suffer?
btw, i’ll have some free time in victoria next saturday if anyone wants to buy me lunch or a latte.
i have the internet presale password (they’re not available to everyone else until friday) for REM in vancouver on november 21st. who wants to go with me?
orange began as fruit growing on the tropical slopes of mountains in asia. in ancient sanskrit, its name was “naranga”, or “fragrant”.
the orange thrived along sunny shores on the mediterranean sea. in the middle ages, the moors brought it to italy and spain. spanish sailors carried orange seeds in their pockets to the new world, and the conquest of orange was complete.
orange was the colour of rare spices. it was a symbol of good health, strong appetite and robust sexuality. to the hill people of afghanistan, who cultivated the carrot, orange food was considered virtuous food.
the ancient greeks considered the orange to be a shade of red. if they had a word for the colour orange, it has been lost. chaucer said the colour was “betwixe yellow and reed”. it ws not until the 1500s that the name of the fruit became the name of the colour.
orange is the colour of joy, energy and good health. it is the colour of conversation and friendly debate, the colour of wisdom and creativity. orange fights sadness and depression. warm and invigorating — like the fruit itself — is orange.
more orange flowers because: a) orange is my signature colour for 2004; and, b) today seems like a good day for flowers.
woke up with a headache, but i guess that’s what i get for thinking too much too late at night. i’ll try to remember that anything emotional i do before bed seems to translate into a throbbing brain and puffy eyes the next day.
the world of warcraft stress test has ended and i hope i’ll be too busy with the start of school and that aforementioned ass-in-gear-getting that i won’t go through too many withdrawls. then again, thanks to the almighty bruce, i’m on the waiting list for the closed beta. i don’t know how long it’ll be until they start up the new server and open the doors to more beta testers, but i’m waiting anxiously for it.
i totally forgot, but i have to bake cookies tonight for the office bake sale. i was planning on making my mint chocolate chip cookies (which are really mercy’s, btw). great, what was i saying about my fat ass last night? no sampling. three dozen unsampled cookies will be baked and three dozen unsampled cookies will be delivered to work tomorrow. *lays down the law*
how come “three dozen” sounds like so much more than just “thirty-six”?
so, i was wondering, if i were to try to arrange a photogroffee–esque gathering of photographically coffee-inclined people to spend a morning making pictures around historical new westminster, who would be interested? in the two whole blocks i walked on the way to and from a company lunch there on friday i saw no fewer than half a dozen interesting things to photograph, and i wasn’t even really looking for them. imagine if i had a group of fun photographers with me what great shots we could make! think about it and let me know if you’re at all curious.
sometimes i wonder if i’m depressed or if i’m just incredibly lazy and down on myself. i’ve had a really great, social, relaxing weekend, but as soon as i got home from picking my car up at the pub this morning, i’ve been overcome with dark thoughts and lonely feelings.
i feel completely, unbelievably, utterly unworthy. i look around this huge apartment and i’m overcome with how empty it is, how alone i am when i come home and close the door behind me. how i have pretty much given up on ever finding anyone to share it and my my life with.
i feel my pants getting tighter every week and i find myself still not caring enough about my health and appearance to put the workout tape back in the vcr or log my points each day. as long as the number on the scale is still lower than it was six months ago i seem not to care that it’s slowly creeping back up and my fitness level is regressing much faster than that.
i feel like i’m stuck and i can’t seem to bring myself to do so much as put on a pair of shoes and walk to the coffee shop on the corner, just to go outside and be around people; let alone get over my stupid infatuations and lingering feelings for men who are completely wrong for, not to mention not at all interested in, me. my fear of never meeting anyone new who could like and enjoy me keeps me isolated and reinforces my feeling uninteresting and unloveable.
i’ve been dreaming about people who have passed from my life, either through death or desertion. this week, a co-worker was killed on the highway and my cat was put down to end his long suffering. the vivid dreams have just accentuated my feelings of loss and loneliness. i wake and i wish i’d never slept or, at the very least, not dreamt.
oh, i know i’ve got a pretty spectacular life compared to a lot of people. that the time i spend belabouring my issues could be much better spent bettering myself or society, but i’m so paralyzed by the perceived enmormity of the tasks which need addressing that i can’t even do so much as get up and scrub the rings from the stove or hang art on the walls. i complain about being alone, but when people ask to spend time with me i blow them off so i can spend more time alone brooding about being alone. yeah, i think i’m crazy, too.
now that i’ve gotten that all out of me, i hope i can get my rapidly enlarging ass in gear and get some shit done.
yesterday was probably the worst day i’ve had in years. i was so fucking sad i just wanted to die. or explode. i couldn’t do anything but sit in my chair facing the corner and try not to break down in this horrible beige box full of people who couldn’t possibly comprehend how much walter meant to me.
thank you all so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me that you all cared enough to take some time to offer condolences and support.
part of me feels ridiculous to be so affected by the loss of a pet i haven’t lived with in almost seven years, but then i slap that part and remind myself that walter is, was, the closest thing i’ve ever had, or probably ever will have, to a child of my own. i love, loved, him so much it’s almost obscene. as the years went by of my only seeing him when i visited mom and his growing distance from me (he’d never been a social cat by any stretch of the imagination, but he and i were very close) saddened me, but i understood.
he was my baby. the little four-week old kitten who fit in the palm of my hand. the tiny, fuzzy tabby which was given to me as a birthday present, complete with ribbons tied around his neck. someone to love, to help fill the void left when my previous cat, spud, passed away. the kitten who would fetch, eat pineapple, fit under the door into the pantry, knew exactly what to do with the litter the first time, watch tv, hide from everyone but mom & i, roll up into a hedgehog ball when you picked him up to clip his claws, stoically put up with endless baths because he never really learned how to wash himself properly, and always come to bed with me at night and purr me to sleep.
all that being said, i’m feeling a little lighter of spirit and i’m ready to face the world again today. i know that walter would have wanted it that way. =)
today, my cat, sir walter of corfield ended his battle with disease and discomfort.
it breaks my stupid little heart to know he’ll never again stick his furry little face in the crook of my neck and purr for me, but it’s tempered with the knowledge that he’s no longer suffering and slowly fading away.
i love you beyond reason, my little geek. i hope you’re finally resting in peace.
my great amazing race (slash housewarming) party has been cancelled (or, indefinitely postponed for the more optimistic out there). it was just far too demoralizing to have the rsvps number three-to-one in the negative. hey, at least this way i don’t have to fret about getting pictures hung by friday or what food to make! although, i do still have to company-clean because i have an alternate dinner date with a hot guy who wants to come by to see the new place (yeah! take that!). then again, i shouldn’t get too cocky for fear of his cancelling on me right as i’m getting my glam on.
going away this weekend seriously cut into my world of warcraft time. if i’d known how stupid addictive it would be, i just might have cancelled to stay home to slay things and quest my little heart out. no, i’m not in the beta, but i did luck out enough to get into the week-long stress test. i’ve not really cared about a video game of any sort since 1994 when i spent every waking moment playing lands of lore, but i can see that when WoW comes out it’s going to be my crack of choice. now i know what all those everquest junkies were going on about.
for some reason i’ve decided that today is to be a girlie day. i’m all decked out in a skirt, powder blue and delicate shoes. i’m not quite sure what’s going on. it’s probably hormonal, either that or i’m in dire need of psychiatric assistance. luckily i was running late so there was no time for makeup, that’s just going too far.
p.s. i really need a redesign soon, because, god forbid i have a layout for more than a year.
i need more sleep.
they say that the clothes make the man. well, what if you see an otherwise impeccably put together man in a suit at least three sizes too big for him? all i could think as i met joe the financial planner last night was “he looks like he’s wearing his father’s suit.” someone really should tell him that green suit is far too big on him. it detracts from whatever air of authority someone whose hands you are going to put your life savings in should have.
but, anyway, my other news is that i’m going away for the weekend. yay three-day weekends! have fun, everyone.
last night i did laundry. yeah, i know. i’m a wild woman. but what you don’t know is that i did laundry with method laundry detergent and dryer sheets! mm, method. this is all jodi’s fault. all of it. i take no responsibilty whatsoever. none. zip. nada.
of course, i was both off to a late laundry start (because i’m sloth-girl and some neighbour scooped my washer) so i didn’t get out to buy cereal or drop meghan’s american gifts off like i’d planned. oh well. i can live with eating just one kind of cereal for two days and she’ll just have to wait until after i get home from the island. tonight i’m off to a financial planning/investment strategy seminar with my dad and tomorrow i leave early for the boat. whee!
did you know that dr. phil’s son has a tv show? i think it’s renovate my family or something. i caught a little bit of it while i was programming the vcr to tape the premiere of hawaii (you know me, i’ve got to watch the first episodes of all the new programs). you know, that kid creeps me out. he’s got more hair than his dad, but he’s also got his over-intense eyes that look like he’s always trying to REALLY MAKE A POINT. emphasis eyes. creepy. but don’t worry, i didn’t watch it. jeremy would be so proud.
ooh, i just ordered the tickets for the eternal egypt exhibit and imax film i’m taking my mom to for her bithday in a couple weeks. i love the internet! batten down the hatches, victoria… here we come!
um. yeah. i think the coffee was extra strong this morning. *buzz*
p.s. i’m wearing my cute new underpants and i keep wanting to show people just how damn cute they are. then i realize that showing my underpants might not be the right thing to do at the office. offices are so dumb that way.
there was driving, there was talking, there was hockey, there was laughing, there was SHOPPING, there was taco bell, there was melanie. i can’t think of a better way to spend a tuesday evening.
taco bell tastes much better in america.
who wants to go to bellis fair with me tomorrow night after work?
i was going to write something about something, but then i got distracted while cleaning out my files in preparation of the thing i refuse to talk about, so i’ll just mention that i’ve, yet again, tried to cut my finger off with the beautiful chef’s knife my friend meghan (disguised as a 93 year old woman) gave me for xmas. i’ve lost count of how many times i’ve cut myself with that damn knife. i don’t know if i’m getting clumsier as i age or it’s got a thirst for blood. either way, i’m almost single-handedly keeping band-aid in business.
did i mention that i went to colene’s fantabulous birthday outing friday night? it was much fun and i love me some caramel apple martinis and orange creme brulee.
saturday was a dark day. i overslept in the a.m. which threw a wrench into my plans to head off to the art gallery early in the day, so i decided i’d stay home and do my chores so i could go the next day. the day itself wasn’t so bad, but around six o’clock i felt overwhelmingly alone and utterly unloved. i sat in my apartment waiting for the phone to ring (i’d left a message with karen about a movie and there was still the possibilty of dinner with m&m) while the tears welled up and the roof caved in. i went out for a drive with the half-hearted intention of going to see a movie, but i couldn’t bring myself to go alone, so i just picked up a frozen pizza at the store and went back home.
just when it was getting really bleak, the phone rang (scaring me quite shitless, actually). it was my dad calling to check in and ask me a computer-related question. he was sitting around his apartment alone, too (his girlfriend was obviously otherwise occupied or they’d have been together). i couldn’t figure out what he’d done to the pc remotely, so i offered to go take a look at it. as payment, i requested a game of pool with him. once again, dad came to my rescue. dads are good like that, i’ve discovered.
sunday morning i headed out early (for me) to the art gallery. i promised myself i would NOT miss the baja to vancouver show and i didn’t let myself down. i highly recommend the gallery when it first opens. the population is minimal and you can actually have quiet, alone time with the pieces which speak to you. i was really disappointed in the “no photography” policy (i asked one of the little security/docent people and she actually thanked me for asking before i started snapping away) because there were just zillions of opportunities for amazing photos. not just of the works, but the gallery spaces, the people, the architecture of the building. i guess i’ll have to be satisfied with the mental snapshots i took.
i really want to kiss a boy.
and i’m sullying it with some crappy (yet freakishly accurate) personality test:
20 Questions to a Better Personality
Wackiness: 48/100
Rationality: 44/100
Constructiveness: 60/100
Leadership: 0/100
You are a SECF–Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Hippie.
You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you’ve made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don’t get mad, you get even.
Please don’t get even with this web site.