remember when i was talking about all that happiness i was feeling? some of it has slipped away. rather, i’ve lost some of my perspective while trying to figure out if i’m doing the right thing when it comes to boys.
i’ve been feeling like i’m always doing things backwards when it comes to men. having internet relationships hasn’t helped that at all, i’m sure. there’s this fictional script i believe i should be following when it comes to relationships. it goes something like:
girl meets boy at some social function or at a trendy coffee shop/bookstore.
boy asks for girl’s number.
boy phones girl and asks her out.
girl and boy go out.
on second date, boy kisses girl.
after a certain period of time, boy and girl have delightful, romantic sex.
option a:
sleepovers commence.
boy and girl are officially a couple.
parents are met.
happily ever after.
option b:
boy thinks girl is horrid in sack and never calls her again.
option c:
girl thinks boy is horrid in sack and avoids his calls.
see, where i think i keep going wrong is not minding the certain period of time before the delightful, romantic sex rule.
i’m suffering the whole “why buy the cow” dilemma. it’s a horrible contradiction. we’re told that good girls don’t sleep around, but that also seems to mean that good girls also don’t sleep with a boy they think is hot without some sort of committment. why can’t we? if the boy is cute and interested, why is it so wrong to get naked with him?
i suppose i’m just afeared that the boy will think it’s just the sex when there’s a hope for more. i don’t want it to always be just the sex. i want there to be the love and the romance and the committment, complete with the trust, the respect and the quiet affection, too.
dammit, i guess i do want it all.
You know, when you glance really quickly at that photo, it looks like lots of naked flesh. I keep thinking my coworker, who can see my monitor vaguely from a distance at his desk, must think I’m surfing for porn. Eek.
ugh, soulsister, i so know what you are going through. and the worst is you don’t want to bring it up because you feel weird that he might only want sex and might get creeped out that you want more and then you don’t want him to want more and think you are just all liberated and all you want is the sex.
what’s a girl to do?
Seems like one giant catch 22. Blah. I’ve always wondered why women are held to a certain standard by society, you know, that whole “good girl” thing, yet guys can ho it all they want, and they’re still Mr. Respectable. Heh. Bunk, I say! I do know where you’re coming from, and it’s not easy to tell. I say flat out lay ‘er on the table. You know, something like, “So, is this any more than just a casual thing? You dig me or you just like my boobies?” Hopefully he’ll say both, and things will be all good. Either way, from my previous experiences, I’d say just be honest with what you’re looking for. It might save the both of you some time to either move on or save a lot of the beat around the bush crap one usually has to go through while trying to figure out just what the hell is going on, and move on to something really nice together. Two cents. *plinkplink* Btw, I’m writing this from my new iBook. Mrowr, I love it! :D
throw the script out the window. hell, it worked for me.
oh god do i hear you. big time. i’ve been thinking similar things..and y’know when you end up asking to try and figure out which category he falls into, the guy always inevitably gets a deer in the head lights kinda look..as if you asked to bear his children. yeeesh.
isn’t that a quibbling round-about way of asking if he wants to bear your children?
we guys read: “Yeah, you’re ok, and the sex is good enough to warrent keeping you around. Wanna move in and let me bear your children?”
if you could only hear the screaming in our heads when that glazed over deer-in-headlights look crosses our faces. ;) Fact is, we’re there cuz we find you nifty. Don’t ruin it by trying to “validate” anything for at least a year ;)
ack. last post. first line. …asking if he wants YOU to bear…
hey hessie.. how about lettin us modify our own posts? A new project for ya!
I’m sure that that was completely valid, if not a little freudian. I wouldn’t let you modify it either. :)
Or perhaps a 24 or even 48 hour rule? Hmm.
blah. if i a guy can’t handle a girl simply wanting to know where things stand, then he’s a big ninny and you should throw rocks at him.
right on andrea!