Category Archives: Photos

when i was a kid, my mom would occassionally (usually once every couple of months) let me take a day off school. i wasn’t sick. we didn’t have anywhere to go. she just recognized that i worked hard and that sometimes i just needed a break from the routine. she called them mental health days. they usually included some sort of special outing or shopping trip. mom sure knew just the thing to make me feel better.
i’m having one of those today. i really didn’t feel well at all for most of yesterday, though. i was woozy and nauseated and exhausted. i was in bed by 8:30 last night, so you know i wasn’t okay. when my alarm went off at six this morning i made the decision to stay home. i called my boss, left him a voicemail and went back to sleep. i expect to be spending a lot of time sleeping today. i think i’ll take up residence on the futon with some movies and the über-blankie and just recuperate from life.

so, yeah. this whole monitor thing has thrown a bit of a wrench in my ibook purchase plan. well, that and having to lend out $500 for emergency moving expenses. anyway, yeah, i guess i won’t be pouncing on the updated ibooks whenever they’re announced (tuesday tuesday tuesday). i’m now fiscally forced to wait until at least the first of july. man, money sucks.
luckily i didn’t need much money to have a fun afternoon out with mel on saturday. we went to the elbow room for lunch (and didn’t get sassed nearly enough in our combined opinion) then out to ikea to investigate my new desk options. i do love ikea. although, i think i need to go to the other store once in a while. i’ve practically memorized the layout of the coquitlam location, which makes strategic shopping strikes really quick and easy, so i guess it’s not so bad.
i dunno, there’s not a lot else going on. i’m spending a lot of time on skype lately. chatchatchat. i’ve noticed that i laugh a lot. like, a lot. i’ve almost cramped up from getting the giggles so bad during some of those conversations when i’ve laughed for almost fifteen minutes straight. it’s awesome. i love laughing. you should skype. skype is good.
tonight, i’d like to: go to ikea to get the rest of my desk, go to the market to get a basketful of veggies, do an hour of yoga, clean my bathroom, make bruce’s cards (sorry, bruce!), go to the used book store and find the narnia books for cheap so i can re-read them before the movie comes out in december, and get a start on selecting photos for calendars. what i’ll probably get accomplished is: getting home, taking off my shoes and pants, watch starting over, do the dishes, then waste the rest of the night online and then go to bed far too late.
hey, at least i’m fully aware i’m a lazy slacker.

this is what happens when your seven year old monitor decides to blow up on a saturday afternoon, complete with sizzling, crackling and puffs of stinky smoke.
hello, 19″ lcd goodness. your name is benny.

i am cranky today.
two mornings in a row with wild dreams and a very reluctant to wake up body have made me a seriously nasty person today. then i stuck a sharp object in my eye, causing me great pain and eye-watering. then traffic was nasty. then i dropped my lunch which spilled cole slaw and beefaroni juice all over everything in my bag. then there was a mess of crap left on my desk on top of the mess of stuff i left on my desk. i’m pretty sure that the big clouds are going to dump rain just because i left my car windows open.
i just fucking want to stay in bed. is that too much to fucking ask? gah.
and to top it off, i had hopeful dreams that i’d woken up to the ibook being updated so i could order mine and have a fun weekend playing with my new white wonder. how disappointed was i to check mac rumors to discover it really was only a dream?
oh, i figured out why my photos aren’t showing up in bloglines anymore. i’m not going to change it so they are, either, because it’s better for me if i don’t. you’ll just have to click to see them.

“well, you know that bigger girls are popular these days.”
at least that wasn’t his opening line. that was:
“i’m not very good at hiding how i feel, so i’m not even going to try.”
i’m being pretty ungenerous. he was a nice enough guy who was at least interesting and had more hobbies than sitting on wreck beach oggling boobies (although, he did express an interest in running around naked in nature). he brought his dog. we walked through the gardens. we took at drive out to a secluded little park where there was a bench memorializing his friend who had committed suicide two years ago. he told me about how he thought a lot about doing the same during his very lonely and heartbroken winter.
“would you like to make out?”
it wasn’t at all awful. i guess i’ll try it again. just not with him.

it is my very favourite jeremy’s birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY! i love you more than i could ever say.
so, i’ve come to the conclusion that a coffee date is actually an interview for a first date. at coffee you’re in a safe, public location and you’re only committed to spending as much time with the person as it takes you to drink your extra hot double tall extra foam mocha-frappu-cino-latte (with sprinkles) if you’re not hitting it off.
at the end of the interview, you both walk away checking things off your mental lists: kinda short, nice smile, no jewellry, good laugh, weird hair. if there are enough commonalities or chemistry, then one or the other of you will make contact regarding a more formal first date which might include being picked up, dinner, spirits and at least some level of cleavage-exposure.
dating is weird and uncomfortable. i think there are a whole bunch of rules i haven’t ever learned because i’ve never done it in a normal way. when do you first kiss? does he still take you home and walk you to the door? are five dates in one week too many? when do you introduce them to friends and family? how do you determine exclusivity?
someone should really write a book.

i could tell you about the more-than-slightly uncomfortable coffee date i had last night with a man who actually took two and a half minutes to think of something to tell me about himself all the while looking at the boobs of some woman sitting across the room, but you don’t want to hear about that.
i think there’s music bingo on the docket tonight. i really hope there is. i could use some time with people who can actually hold up their end of a conversation.
maybe i’ve just been spoiled by knowing so many smart and articulate people? damn all you smart and articulate people! you’ve ruined me for mediocrity!

the weekend was… interesting. the main outcome was my being very proud of myself for expressing myself when i’d normally just shut down and run away from the situation. i still might not be happy with the situation, but at least i was honest about how i felt and where i am so there’s no confusion.
yes, i’m crypto-blogging. some things don’t need to be shared with the internet. just be happy for me, okay?
i’ve dreamt about ibooks the last two nights. jeremy’s sick of me talking about them, but wade is right with me with impending ibook purchase obsession, so we’re feeding of each other in some sick co-dependant researching frenzy. thank goodness for wade.
my apartment is almost entirely cleaned and tidied (just need to scrub down the bathroom tonight). i don’t think i’ll get over how much better i feel when my home is in order. i should have people over. i need a coffee table. i should go to ikea and get that desk i saw.
i’m listening to damien rice today. have you seen closer? it’s a real downer, but still a very interesting film. i recommend it. just don’t expect to be entertained. it’s a thinking-man’s film. prepare to be haunted.
*love*

– thinking is bad.
– i may not be able to wait until my birthday for my ibook.
– i love lilac season: i want to dive into a pile of lilacs.
– my personal hell would be to spend eternity writing profiles for online dating/social networking sites.
– let’s go to a movie.
– telling people how my heart has been hurting makes me feel uncomfortably vulnerable and weak.
– i’m drinking far too much coffee lately; but, i’m drinking far less vodka.
– mascara makes me feel 10x prettier than usual.
– i’m a dirty, rotten slacker.
– mayonnaise is the devil.

i’m again thinking that my purpose on this earth is to instruct men as to the type of women they do not want to be in a relationship with. i used to call myself transitional girl. there was a period of time when every guy i had something with almost immediately went from me to their live-in, fiancee, or bride. it was so chronic you just had to laugh about it. i even wrote out a little advertisement and stuck it in my profile for a while. i wish i still had it, it was pretty damn clever.
“looking to get married? date me! money-back guarantee that the next woman you meet will be your soul mate! don’t delay your matrimonial bliss, take me out tonight!”
so, anyway, who’s going to go see ariz0na at lotus with me tomorrow night? i don’t want to go to the scary part of town alone.

listening to the frou frou julie sent me. still amazed from the two hour conversation with paul-from-the-past i had last night. hurting for my friend whose heart is recently broken. nervous about something new for friday. loving the lilacs on my desk. wanting more sleep and coffee. feeling better, but not quite hopeful yet.

i spent last night doing something i didn’t think i’d ever do again: with the invaluable help of my very favourite jeremy, i am now linuxy again! four years away and holy crap has linux gotten much prettier and easier! wow. this ain’t your daddy’s slackware install anymore, boys and girls. and, really, other than some bootloader issues because i was installing it in an awkward place, it was pretty simple. it auto-detected pretty much everything. even if jer hadn’t been there to help me out, i could have ran the auto-updater on my own to get things all current. i think. ;)
otherly, i’m completely in love with the garden state soundtrack and have had it on constant repeat since i got home sunday afternoon. if i wasn’t worried about my officemate killing me for playing it again i’d have brought it back to work with me to play all day long. love it. absolutely LOVE it (even the zero 7 song, but don’t tell sean that). i think it’s the best $15 i’ve spent in a very long time.

home now. it’s beautiful out there. go outside.

yay! random victoria visit commences tonight. rawk! this is way better than staying home and dusting.

i’m on day three of this headache and i don’t quite know what i’ve done to deserve it. i could blame the oreos, but they didn’t come along until last night. i’m starting to get annoyed.
ack. my coffee cup is empty. CALL OUT THE TROOPS! this is not good.
i’ve decided that i’m buying myself an ibook for my birthday (72 days! mark your calendars. i really want flowers this year!). hopefully, by then i’ll have fedora core installed on discombobulate and, in search of my long-lost geek cred, i’ll be running three operating systems at the same time! see what fun you can have when you’re not taking crappy courses you don’t care anything about?
speaking of stuff, i guess i really need to get off my duff and get my photocard site up and running. the plan is to put up a gallery of images and then let people pick the cardstock they want the photo they’ve chosen to be mounted on (white, natural or brown). how much would you pay for a photocard? $3.50? $5.50? what about shipping costs? should i eat those as a startup expense? big thoughts. gotta get planning.

don’t really feel like typing much. not minding being around people. went shopping in the sunshine, bought a new toy. shook up my investment portfolio (yes, virginia, i have investments). daydreamed something fierce. this is day two of my headache. i’m craving broccoli.
i think i might go to the meetup/beercast combo tonight. are you going?

it will take someone extraordinary to love me as i am today.
the ones i’ve craved have not been extraordinary. they have been intelligent, interesting, funny, freaky, caring, curious, sensual, shy; they have not been extraordinary.
i’m so done.

yoga makes me feel bendy. until the next morning when Every Muscle In My Body is screaming at me. who the hell knew there were so many angry muscles in my back? who? and why didn’t they warn me before i got down on that mat? ugh.