Category Archives: Photos

i got shy and couldn’t bring myself to sleep without window coverings, so i tacked up a blue bedsheet over the window. yes, i am totally white trash chic, thank you.
i’ve been thinking about getting curtains in my bedroom to both warm up the feel of the room and to help block more light (dark! bedrooms must be completely dark!). these past two nights with the big blue sheet up have confirmed that i need to get a move on in that direction. my biggest problem is that i can’t decide what colour curtains. i want something warm and rich and cozy, but i don’t want to totally match it to my bedsheets because then what will i do when i want a new duvet cover? get new curtains? i don’t think so. any help would be appreciated. i’m teh suck at home decorating.
last night i photowandered around a cool part of town with jamie after work. we ran into a vandigicamr, found another bottle of jones soda with my photo on the label and then ate too many fries at white spot while trying not to act suspicious next to a table full of cops (at least *i* was trying). then jamie was a good boy-friend (not to be confused with boyfriend or bf) and filled up my car’s tires with air. he mocked me for it being something i hate doing myself, but he still went ahead and did it. now THAT’S true friendship, i tell you.
unfortunately, with the combination of pilates class and all the walking in my steel-toed shoes, my body is tres sore today. plus, i woke up with a headache which just sucks regardless of the day. in ten minutes, i’m going to finally phone and make an appointment for a massage. cross your fingers i’ll get in tomorrow so i don’t have to spend the weekend all knotted up.

i’ve taken my blinds down for cleaning. this means that for the next two nights my neighbours will be able to watch me sleep. i’m not sure how i feel about that. mostly ’cause it means i should probably wear something to bed.
oh, the things i do to avoid getting on “how clean is your house?”
i miss the way tyler used to say my name over and over and over in that sleepy, breathless way of his. of all things, a website i found reminded me of that and made it almost hurt for missing him.

have a margarita while you wait for me to do something worth writing about.

great day. better night. ;)

i’m completely distracted by my hair today. there’s new goop in it and it smells like apples. ohmygod. if i were a boy and i caught a whiff of my locks i’d totally be all over me like… like… something on something. sorry, i just caught a whiff.
feels like it’s going to be a good day today. there’s a birthday lunch to attend. a time-wasting meeting after that. then only a couple of hours until jamie and colene show up at my place for our (semi-) fish’n’chip catch-up at the pub. i’m really looking forward to tonight.
have i mentioned that i have the next three weeks of television scheduled and actually written down in my daytimer? yes, virginia, the new television season is upon us! i don’t know why, but i get very excited by all the new shows and i try very hard to see the first episode of almost every one. this year is a little different because of the fact i have barely watched my tv since june. the whole process of turning it on and then just sitting there watching something seems somehow wasteful. i was actually thinking about starting a new knitting or crochet project, just to keep my hands busy while i sit there. oh wait, i have a laptop now, i can multi-task! sweet.

don’t i feel like an idiot? so, it was just the battery afterall. i got home, stuck it in the charger, prayed for two hours and then put it in the camera. voila, lights and action. i’m so relieved.
the thing i’ve found with the d70 is that the battery will last forEVER, but once that first little bar on the indicator goes away, you better be ready to say goodnight eileen because it won’t last long after that. i can only assume that it had done just that after putting it away thursday and the mere act of keeping the display going over the weekend fully drained it.
don’t get me wrong, i’m very glad it was just the battery, but i was kind of looking forward to sending it away just so i could get the sensor cleaned under warranty.
also, for those of you who don’t use rss and actually come to look a this site as it’s meant to be displayed (yes, i’m bitter), you might have noticed the appearing/disappearing “help me save the boobies” banner which was around for a couple of days. i’m particpating in the CIBC run for the cure this year and i was hoping to solicit those charitable readers to contribute to my fundraising efforts (which, heretofore have included nothing but baking things for team-related bake sales), but the website for the event sucks so much and didn’t even register the one donation i know someone tried to make, that i decided to take the link down and complain about it.
the cause is still great, the event is still great, the people involved are still great, but the website fucking blows this year. unless you land at their front page, there are no “login” links on any other page. i spent a good ten minutes looking for one the other day, just so i could get the “sponsor me” link to put on my site. now this nonsense with donations not getting processed. hell, i can’t even pay my registration fee online! grr.
this is not the way to make someone feel charitable, people!

my camera won’t turn on.
i really hope it’s just the battery.
i won’t cry until i know for sure.

watched movies, played WoW, finished cocoa puffs, played WoW, did dishes, cleaned clothes, played WoW, moved computers, scrubbed the tub, played WoW, ate too much, played WoW.

last night i found myself driving aimlessly around the north shore looking for… something. the overriding conscious desire was a location from which to photograph the oncoming stormy skies. the unconscious desire was to stay out of my apartment for as long as possible; until there was no choice but to return to sleep.
i found a new spot from which to watch the world.
i stood at the edge of the strait while the wind whipped the sea into a frenzy, crashing hugely against the rocks. i sat on a log in the dying twilight and laughed as i watched seagulls hover as they rode the big winds like true wind surfers. i smiled at the children hauling a six-foot long piece of driftwood to their makeshift shelter in the sand. i watched the middleaged man with buckets fishing, wondering what he catches there. i licked my lips and tasted the sea.
just when i thought it couldn’t get worse, i found a place which helped to heal my heart. there’s something magical about the ocean for me. the smell, the power, the ever-changing colours and shapes. sitting there alone, shivering yet not minding the cold, i found joy.

i need motivation.
motivation to take the recycling out. motivation to go for a walk. motivation to take my camera out of the bag. motivation to cook. movtivation to travel. motivation to stretch. motivation to talk. motivation to nap. motivation to give. motivation to do the dishes.
i need motivation to live life fully.
i’m in a rut with almost every part of my life and i can’t seem to get myself out of any of them. the enormity of it is paralyzing me. i can’t fathom where to start.

you know what? there’s absolutely nothing to say. i mean, i still have a list of things i should write about, but i’m too busy making fake chicken parmesan, watching the west wing and stressing out over the state of anti-clean my apartment is in to do so.
i had a great long weekend though, did you?

i’m concerned about the recent purchase of my very lovely dvd-by-mail provider vhqonline by the not as lovely and somewhat maligned provider zip.ca.
the first change i’ve noticed and don’t much like is in the rental queue format. vhq used to have it in priority order from 1 to whatever number was last. you’d have the dvd you wanted sent next in the number one spot, and so on. it was really handy for getting what you wanted when you wanted it. the new zip-powered site doesn’t seem to have that option. my queue is now alphabetical. i don’t want to see movies alphabetically! that’s dorky!
anyway, i guess i don’t have much of a choice. they were the only two major players in canada. i just hope zip doesn’t fuck it all up, and charge me more for the pleasure.
does anyone have any experience with zip? are they less asstacular than they were a year ago?

so, i’m reading sex, drugs & cocoa puffs by chuck klosterman and i’m thinking that he sounds like he’s talking about my life experiences with media and whatnot. he makes mention of being thirty years old and being eight in 1980 and, because i’m such the math wiz, i deduce he was born in 1972, just like me. as i keep reading the book, and i’m totally getting a crush on this guy i’ve never heard of before sean gave me his book to read, i decide i need to know just how near in age we are. according to wikipedia, we were actually born two days apart, with me being the elder. it started to freak out a little when i read that ’cause it’s really like reading my life in some ways and to know that it’s coming from this person who was born before my parents even got to take me home from the hospital is kind of freaky, yet very cool.
it’s the same sensation i got while reading girlfriend in a coma by douglas coupland. it was set where i grew up, just a couple of years before i would have been doing all the things the characters were doing. reading how someone else lived what could have been (and sometimes was) your life is both disconcerting and very cool. it’s almost a glimpse down the path not taken. if i’d been cooler or more aware of things would i have been the one to put it all together and make a book which affected people this way?
in other bookish news, the last book i read was the worst book i’ve ever read. saying this shouldn’t be taken lightly, either. i read a lot of harlequin romances in the early nineties, so i know bad books. it’s called in search of an impotent man by gaby hauptmann. it’s about a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, well-adjusted, successful woman in her 30’s who’s oh-so tired of meeting men who are only after one thing (that’s sex, just in case you were wondering), so she puts an ad in the local paper looking for an intelligent man who can’t get his willie up. you’d think hilarity would ensue, but it was just a lot of “don’t hate me because i’m beautiful” schlock and THE WORLD’S STUPIDEST ENDING EVER. ohmygod. all this was on top of the glaring realization that it’s either a translation from german or ms. hauptmann skipped a few too many english classes during Gymnasium because the language is so horribly stilted and just plain uncomfortable to read. no one, not even germans, talk like her characters. ugh. i was so very upset with it i couldn’t put it down. don’t you hate it when that happens?

it feels so odd, yet so good, to be back in my own chair and at my own desk at work this morning. i have a lot of paper to plow through to catch up from the last two weeks, but i can’t complain too much. byron totally slayed a couple of my biggest, ugliest, grossest tasks which i never had time to do. it feels really good to have them off my back finally.
my weekend was really great, too, even though i was so busy on saturday it actually felt like i’d missed it entirely. i totally made up for it with thirteen hours of concentrated sloth yesterday, though. m&m showed up unexpectedly to show off mark’s brand new chevrolet cobalt they bought on wednesday.
the biggest accomplishment was the first-time creation of creme brulee (as pictured above). it was a huge hit and i don’t think anyone died from it, but i haven’t heard from any of them since, so i could totally be an inadvertent murderess. oops!
i still have lots of stuff to talk about and i should have some more time to actually do it this week, i hope. happy monday!

obviously busy. made nuttymuffin prettish tonight. go see. lots of stories to tell, i just need time to paste the words together. soon, i hope. maybe sunday. be good.

yeah, it’s the same flowers. hey, i don’t get flowers often, so it’s understandable that i want EVERYONE to see them and know that someone brought them to me. if you don’t like it, step off.
i spent most of yesterday sleeping. i totally bailed on tanya’s exorcism barbeque, and for that i feel horrible, but i woke up and it was late and the idea of putting on pants and having to socialize was the absolute last thing which appealed to me. instead i spent an hour killing things in WoW and then went back to bed. i think i must have been tired.
today is the big blogger picnic out at jericho. it’ll be tempting for me to drive past christopher’s house while i’m in the neigbourhood. i wonder if his parents still live there. i used to want to contact a lot of people from my past, now the list is very small and christopher is at the very top. i wonder if the bunnies are still there…

work work work. i’d rather be here.

i’m finding it hard to concentrate right now. i’d much rather go back to dancing around my living room to mike doughty than sit still, let alone go to bed like a good little hessie should.
today was a fantastic day at work. byron is even more engaging than i remembered him to be. we spent far more time talking about everything under the sun than we actually did working. fantastic! these next two weeks with him around are going to kick so much ass. i’m thrilled.
all right, three more songs and then i’m going to bed. dance with me!

tomorrow starts my two weeks of hell at work. monday & tuesday will be Train Byron Days. from wednesday on, i get to be sean while i keep babysitting byron while he tries to figure out how to do my job. so, i’m writing this on sunday night. at eleven p.m. when i should really be sleeping considering i didn’t get to bed until two-thirty this morning and it took most of the day to rid me of my hangover. there will be crashing very early this week. trust me on this one.
saturday was a great, fun day. even going into work for a couple of hours was good. then colene showed up and we took off for a night of fun, food and cougars. we had some yummy sushi on denman street, then we laughed until it hurt at theatresports’ “the imprentice” and then we ended up at a total cougar bar back on the north shore. i fell in lust with a hipster guy at the bar while colene couldn’t get over the crazy oldpeople demographic patronizing the place. yay for having colene to girltalk with all night (and drive me home after getting drunk at the pub).
today, i nursed my hangover and then went out to celebrate a 95th birthday party. hazel is a great lady and i’m thankful that, through meghan, i’ve gotten to know her. it was also great to see dean for the first time in six months, not to mention getting to spend time with m&m and their cats. i do love their cats. there are some photos here, if you’re interested.
so, in the aftermath of my friday night date, writing the entry, talking it through with colene and reading everyone’s comments, i’m still not upset about the whole thing. it was just far too surreal to even believe it actually happened. that being said, where there is no rage, there is some serious self-confidence deflating going on with me when i stop for long enough to actually think about it. if this guy, who really isn’t all that or a bag of chips, could basically say “i like you, but call me when you’re skinny” what is my hope of finding a guy who is all that who’ll accept me as-is?
yes, i know. it’s not MY problem, it’s HIS. i get it and i’m trying really hard to get my internal nay-sayers to realize that, but they’re tenacious little fuckers and have had free run of my head and heart for a very long time. they know all the shortcuts and hideyholes. i might need the orkin man to help flush them out.
anyway, i’d say that overall it’s been a very interesting weekend and i can guarantee you it will be an equally interesting week. oh, by the way, expect evening posts.