monday night, i stay up doing homework. tuesday night, i stay up doing homework. wednesday night, i stay up late to go to class. thursday morning, i hate getting out of bed. dear gawd, i’m exhausted.
you’re reading the website of the girl who got 100% on her first assignment. too bad they’re not really worth anything at all in this course, but that’s a rant for another day.
another pilates class today at lunch. my hamstrings are still sore from the first one. i’ve no idea why my hamstrings of all body parts are sore, but they are. yeah. they are. what are you looking at? so what if my hamstrings are sore, huh? what are YOU going to DO about it? c’mon, punk. show me what you’ve got. c’mon! let’s rumble!
ahem, sorry.
i warned you i was tired.
i’m oddly disappointed that i haven’t received any emails containing the mydoom virus. well, okay, i did get eight or so in my work email yesterday, but that gets everything. my personal mail is a little more exclusive. i guess this means that my friends are all very smart and not opening infected missives. yay smart friends! but still there’s a part of me which could be in on the fun.
pilates was fun yesterday. my hamstrings, of all body parts, are the sore bits today. good thing there’s another class tomorrow so i can work it some more.
i’m trying desperately to not get too confident about school. homework seemed almost too easy this week. it’s tough trying to finish a second assignment when you haven’t seen how they graded the first. you have no idea how the teacher marks things, what their idiosyncracies are. i guess i’ll find out tonight!
birthday sushi and cake today. oh, by the way, remind me never to buy chewy chocolate chip & marshmallow granola bars ever again.
this is mostly just to archive really bad poetry i found while cleaning up. proceed at your own risk. i’m so embarrassed.
so, i went out to buy tea and i came home with new shoes. really, how can one resist soft leather uppers with chunky soles for only $39.92? the only correct answer is “one cannot”. if you answered anything else, you are sadly delusional and your medication must be increased in order for you to cease posing a danger to yourself and others.
my Big Plan™ for the weekend is to spend saturday out looking for an apartment. i’m going to put on my new shoes, charge up the cell phone and wander around the area i want to live in and phone every apartment building i like the look of which has a for rent sign in front. i’m freakishly motivated to get this show on the road and i’m not going to let myself succumb to my normal procrastination. i may have fluked out in finding my current place in the paper, but i don’t think that’s the best way to find a place to live anymore.
i’m excited, but a little daunted by the process. last time (the first time, really), i was living with my dad, so there was no having to give notice and once i got the apartment i could move at any time once it was vacant. now it’s this stressful race to find a place before the end of the month so that i can give notice and then there’s the stress of trying to move out and clean all on one day when there’s someone chomping at the bit to move in on your heels.
if i find a place this weekend (cross your fingers) that’s available the first of february, i’m just going to go ahead and take it. that way i can give a full month’s notice and have four whole weeks to move things as i feel like it. it may cost me double the rent, but i figure it’s a small price to pay for less stress.
gah.
i was going to make some pithy soundbite about the return of my sense of humour indicating the return of my health, but it seems that my sense of prose is still absent. i just can’t string together any interesting words. shall we blame it on the lack of sleep? okay, sounds good to me.
well, okay, maybe jim didn’t really give me his cold. that’s kind of hard to do when you’ve never actually shared the same breathing space as someone. but, he was the snotty one last week, and we do spend a lot of time on icq together. i thought it was a good try. it’s actually more likely that i got it from meghan, but she doesn’t have a site for me to link to (yet).
i’m back at work for the mean time. if it wasn’t for some web stuff that Must Be Done by friday, i’d still be in bed. i’m a little less snotty and a lot less headachy today, but i can’t keep a body temperature for more than five minutes. hot. cold. hot. cold. although, i may have spoken too soon. i thoroughly expect the noise and expected conversation to bring out the worst in my symptoms by lunch time. i think i’ll put up a sign on my desk that says: SICK AND CRANKY. APPROACH AT OWN RISK. i’m not even kidding about that.
there’s not a lot else to say, really. i wanted to tell you about the screaming grocery store child, but then i realized the cashier ripped me off by $1.80 and the screaming suddenly seemed warranted. i also wanted to wax poetic about my search for an apartment where i can put the bed i need so desperately, but there’s very little progress on that front. i haven’t even figured out how much more i can afford to pay in rent, so that makes serious looking kind of difficult.
all i really want to do is buy that camera and take pictures. i guess that means i better buy a lottery ticket this week. $25million could buy a lot of free time.
don’t forget, valentines if you want ’em. just email your address to bemyvalentine@fubsy.net. and, to answer a common question: no, i’m not a stalker. sheesh, you people are a suspicious lot.
jim gave me his cold. i’m dying.
i may have skipped last year, but i did it the year before. so, 2004 brings the return of the happy heather valentine send-off!
if you would like to receive a valentine from me, heather, the girl who writes and posts photos here, please email your postal mailing address to me at bemyvalentine@fubsy.net. let’s make the quasi-official cut off date for request friday, february 6th. that should give me enough time to get the stragglers in the mail before the big, red day.
don’t hesitate, there’s more than enough of me to go around. ;)
you really should try eating a handful or two of honey roasted peanuts before bed. if my erotic, sensual, vivid beyond reason dreams were a result, i highly recommend it.
this dream, yeah, it was so tactile. it wasn’t overly sexual, but there was a lot of touching and flirting with a fellow blogger. the only thing i didn’t enjoy about it was that it’s brought some longing to be touching and touched in that manner just when i’d convinced myself that it was the last thing i needed, especially from a stinky boy. oh well.
the weekend was productive in a way. dinner with my daddy on friday. knitting, chili-making and card-playing on saturday. housecleaning, hockey and shopping on sunday. i don’t feel like i got very much accomplished, but i did manage to go through my closets, make a big pot of soup and take the trash out. that’s pretty good, right? unfortunately, i didn’t even take my camera out of my purse, so i doubt there will be pictures this week. it’s hard when it gets dark so early and i’m stuck inside all day and my camera takes shitty shots in low light. but i’ll see what i can do.
i went to view the apartment on my way home today.
it’s a standard-issue crappy one bedroom apartment in a standard-issue crappy rental building. the kitchen is clausterphobic, but the closets are huge and the bathtub is beautiful. if i lean over the balcony railing, i can the very tops of the buildings downtown, but it’s on the north-west of the building so should be much cooler come summer. the rent is cheap and includes everything my current place doesn’t, which means that i’ll actually be paying only a couple of john a. mcdonalds more each month and it comes with secure underground parking.
i can spruce it up and make it a little nicer, i think. a couple lamps, some stuff on the walls, shower curtain… it could be nice and homey. what do you want to bet they’ll turn my application down because, get this, i make too much money?
this is where i mention that it’s STILL FUCKING SNOWING out there.
despite the waking up at all hours during the night, once to start reaming out my cousins for doing something stupid in my dream (need i mention my cousins weren’t there, so i was talking to an empty room), or the getting up at five a.m., or the leaving for the bus stop at six and only getting to work at quarter to eight, or even the fact that the only shoes i have with snow tread make my feet scream and blisters to appear from thin air, it’s kind of pretty out there right now.
it was actually nice walking in the snow to the bus this morning. so quiet, only the crunching of my feet, the gentle swish of my bag swinging against my hip and my gasping for more air to disturb the blanket of calm the snow covered the city in. that’s not to say i’m glad i had to take transit to work this morning, but hey, you’ve got to find your silver linings where you can.
considering that the weather may ruin any chance of getting up to m&m’s tonight and my hopes of hitting the blockbuster on the way home, silver linings are in short supply for a festive new year’s eve this year. good thing i had low expectations!
the apartment people phoned me back yesterday! i now need to phone some guy named mike to arrange to view the suite and start the application process. i’ve left him a message and, hopefully, he’ll phone me back today so that i might stop by on the way home since i most likely won’t be going anywhere once i hit my house. unfortunately, this is all happening a little too late to give a month’s notice to my currently landlords if i should get this other place. i hope one or two or three days aren’t enough to make them all bitchy about it. anyway, i shouldn’t think too far ahead. i haven’t even seen this place yet. it could be really scary on the inside or worse, smell like cabbage.
there was this great plan to write all about my super-spoiled holiday week(end) and then there was this great plan to write all about the paul-from-the-past i’ve been thinking of a lot recently then there was this great plan to write all about the apartment i reallyreallyreally want because i’m so ready to move and then there was this great plan to write about my need to do kamakaze cleaning before the end of the year and then i looked out my window and all my great plans went to shit.
it’s fucking snowing out there!
okay, i’m better now. i’m glad i wore my snow tire shoes and thought to bring a scarf along, just in case i leave the car here and take das autobus home tonight. i’m still holding out hope for it to change to rain by four, though.
so, about that xmas. i got spoiled rotten. all the people who weren’t supposed to give me gifts, gave me gifts. pretty substantial gifts i totally love, too. meghan bought me a new vacuum, hazel bought me a sexxy chef’s knife, carolyn & sue gave me a gift certificate, dad gave me cash, aunt & uncle gave me a phone card, and mom gave me a sexxy oil mister and an über-towel in bloo. not to mention all the laughing, eating, laughing, eating, laughing, eating and laughing & eating i did.
it was great. and i’m so glad it’s another year until it happens all over again.
as for the impending december thirty-first hooplah, i’m not all that excited. unless m&m&d want to play cards (or dice or dominos!), i think i’ll probably rent a bunch of videos and clean my shower or something. there’s no threat of a proper new year’s eve kiss, so why bother getting dressed, i say.
what are you doing for new year’s?
back from the xmas food-fest. hella busy at work today. more later… if i don’t explode.
i really wish i could feel more festive, but i’ve got a wicked headache and i took my last ibuprofin last week (or was it yesterday). regardless, i’ve got my xmas hat on and i’m all set for an evening of food, fun and friends.
shopping last night turned out surprisingly well. seems i timed it to coincide with everyone going home for dinner, because i found easy parking and i never stood in line for any longer than five minutes (excepting the waiting for my grande decaf gingerbread latte, with whip, at starbucks). the best thing was that everyone i encountered was in such a good mood. although, i have to admit, i got a little upset with the rugrats without supervision, but i thought to myself “at least they’re not mine” and my serenity returned.
i’m quite disappointed that m&m’s über-gift has not arrived for me to present it to them. i was so excited about it. it was so perfect for them. i couldn’t wait to see their faces when they opened it. alas, it’s been sucked into the gaping void known as international mail delivery. i’m not even upset that it didn’t arrive, exactly. i expect things like that to happen. i just wish it would have happened to something not for my friends. that being said, i will give it a couple more weeks and hope it turns up. if not, i’ll just order replacements because it was just too good not to give to them.
i’ll be heading off to the island tomorrow morning to spend the weekend with my mom and the rest of my local rellies, so i’ll be scarce until monday. i want to wish everyone who visits an especially wonderful season, no matter what you’re celebrating. i hope santa (or jack) brings you everything you wish for, including a safe, happy, holiday with everyone you love close to you, or at least in your hearts.
today’s going be a write off. then again, what do you expect when you wake up at 5:28 a.m. and you can’t even recall that there was a weekend. i know i did stuff, but i guess it wasn’t the right kind of stuff because it feels like i didn’t even get any time away from work. thank goodness it’s only a two and three-quarter day week.
so, i made chili for the office potluck today. i have a feeling i should have made more because, if i do say so myself, this is fucking awesome chili. i’ll be sure to report back on the response. i hope they like it.
there’s a bunch of “i’m gross and horrible and no one’s ever going to love me” feelings going around in my head lately. i know it’s because i’m frustrated with things (crappy apartment, lack of funds, holiday stress, work worries), but it really started to wear me down last night. i could feel myself crawling inwards. i spent most of the night on the futon, horizontal and lethargic. ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel antsy and twitchy, like jumping up and down will shake off the sensation. i’m in a pretty okay place today, just a little overwhelmed by the amount of things i need/want to get done. i don’t know where to start so i’m not starting at all. sound familiar?
all right, the coffee beckons. happy monday, everyone. come by for lunch, there’s going to be a freakish amount of food here.
this topic is almost enough to make me want to actually pay attention to mefi. thank you, karl.
i’ve been up since four a.m.!
remember my telling you how great of a person i am because i was taking karen to the airport this morning? well, i’m so good because every ten minutes after three a.m. i woke up in a panic that i’d overslept and karen had missed her plane. finally, at four, i decided to get up and avoid all that stress. i had a long shower, drank a cup of coffee, watched the episode of miss match i’d taped on monday night, downloaded that stupid new song milkshake and made my breakfast.
you know, i wish i had more excuses to be out in the world at five-thirty in the morning. it’s so peaceful and so very quiet. everything i did sounded so loud! i felt like i was going to wake the entire city up when i started my car.
did you know you can’t use your starbucks card at the starbucks in the airport? neither did i. that’s okay, i had enough cash for my gingerbread latte and pumpkin scone. yum.
all right, i think it’s exactly time for a nap, don’t you?
i’m bored and sleepy and i really want to, um, you know.
hurrah! my grades are in and i’m not quite as stupid as i worried i might have become. somehow, i managed to wrangle 81% out of the programming course from hell. yippee! the best part is that it only brings my average down to 92%. phew. i can’t even tell you how much of a relief that is. i was harbouring some serious dread at the coming of the grades. now i can just submit my receipts and wait for the cheque.
otherwise, i’m just as, if not more, tired today as i was yesterday. there’s something about the last week which has been keeping me from going to bed at any time earlier than midnight. i’m sure sitting and gabbing with karen at red robin for three hours and then coming home and filling out my shiny new addressbook she got me were culprits, but even once i turned off all the lights i laid in bed for a good thirty minutes before i fell asleep. it’s not good. i’m starting to have that overtired tunnel vision thing happen. i absolutely must get some sleep tonight, or at least tomorrow, because i’m taking karen to the airport at 6am thursday. yes, i know, i’m an extraordinary human being. you may send gifts as often as you like.
speaking of gifts, meghan is concerned about whatever it is she’s gotten me for xmas. she keeps telling me that it’s okay if i take it back and go buy my dream desk instead. i asked her on saturday “if you don’t think i’ll like it, why did you buy it for me?” anyway, this has all gotten me thinking about the things i’d probably never buy myself or things i desperately need which i’d be happy to receive as a gift. (this is not a directive for you to go out and get me something different, meghan. are you listening?)
– a new vacuum with hose attachment
– my carpets professionally cleaned
– my window blinds professionally cleaned
– my car detailed
– a serious 10″ chef’s knife
– new tea towels
– a haircut at some swanky salon where they really know what they’re doing
– alton brown’s plunger measuring cup
– a new cell phone with a damn clock
– a one-bedroom apartment for no more than $650/month (har-har)
that list is more for myself than anyone else (yes, that means you, meghan). i find it really interesting that i’ll go to the craft store and drop a wad on stuff i’ll use once or twice and then leave to rot in the closet, but i won’t spend the money to buy myself more useful items and services that will improve the quality of my life.
priorities, you’re all messed up.
so, i’m reading this book and it’s smutty. i mean, really smutty. not with “throbbing hardness”es and “womanly centre”s either. i’m talking all the four-letter words to describe people’s naughty bits. and the main characters are spending a lot of time getting to know each other’s bits and pieces in great detail.
i have no problem with all of that. in fact, i’m quite enjoying it. but, what i realized is that these two characters have been spending all this time doing things that naked people do and no one’s had to go to the bathroom. why doesn’t fiction include the less-than-polite side of human bodily functions? they write about other sensations and functions of the human excretory system, but they never talk about what it’s like to have a poop in your significant other’s bathroom for the first time.
why is that? i mean, it’s a natural function of the human body, just like all that sex they’re having. they’re eating and drinking to replenish their strength, why aren’t they excreting, too?
i really hope i’m not the only person to wonder about that. ahem.