long day.
i’m not going tonight.
stop looking at me like that. i’m not scared or intimidated. well, okay, not a lot. i’m tired and cranky. yesterday was 11 hours of non-stop typing. today, although the standard 8, is also non-stop. my wrists are burning, my ass is throbbing and my eyes are being held in only by my glasses. i would be shitty company for anyone but my futon, so i’m staying home tonight.
plus, i promised my dad i’d have his project done by the end of the week and i haven’t even started it yet. yay! i get to do more keyboarding when i get home!
i wanted to let all you wonderful, supportive, and annoying forceful people know about my decision. don’t worry, jish’ll blow through town again and i’ll be at the next meet’n’greet with my undeniable hessie charm in tow. *smooch*
something in the vicinity of my desk smells like poo. i can’t tell if it’s a person, a shoe, or someone’s idea of ethnic breakfast. actually, i don’t care what it is as long as it goes away.
and, no, it’s not me (i know you all so very well). i’m freshly showered and smelling like raspberries, thankyouverymuch.
a couple months ago, i received an email from jish inviting me out to a informal gathering of vancouver bloggers. this was pretty impressive considering mr. jish’s internet notoriety. i didn’t go. i chickened out. i didn’t want to be judged or ruin my carefully crafted “image”. my foothold in the community was tenuous at best. i regret it.
a couple of days ago, i received an email from jish inviting me out to an informal gathering of vancouver bloggers. it is still pretty impressive considering mr. jish’s internet notoriety. i don’t know if i’m going or not. i’m getting braver, but am i that brave? the more i read about devon, paul, col and derrick the more i’d love an opportunity to meet them in person. i’m still chicken. i still fear judgement and rejection. i have until seven-thirty tonight to decide. i will probably regret it.
for an entire month! or longer if she finds a job.
yay!
i just got home from picking her up, getting her stuff into her room at the ywca and going out for coffee (i had a coconut swirl mocha — i’ll be up all night). god, it’s been a year since she was here last, but it’s like she’s never left. i couldn’t stop talking, telling her about my life. i spent most of the drive home thinking about the things i forgot to mention. of course, if we corresponded on even a semi-regular basis i wouldn’t have to rush through all these things when i see her. but, the best part is, we obviously don’t need to. we like each other just fine, regardless of the time or distance.
karen is here! wahoo!
i love the smell of my skin after i’ve sat in the sun.
it’s exactly three months (almost to the minute) until my birthday of momentous consequence (i can’t write it, but i’ll be turning five times six years old), so y’all better get cracking on that big party and lots of presents i deserve. i’m not sure who’s organizing it, as it’s to be a surprise, but i’m sure someone can set up a mailing list to suss out the logisitical details of an operation of this mangitude.
i honestly thought today was tuesday. lynne had to point out to me that it was actually wednesday. the whole holiday monday has messed up my perception of time. i can’t wait to see what i’ll be like next week after the time change.
speaking of which, do we change to standard or daylight time this weekend? i can never remember which way it goes. you’d think it would be standard during the summer and daylight savings in the winter, wouldn’t you? i should look that up some time.
tonight, i’m going to the airport to pick up karen, my quasi-sister. i don’t know any details, but i’m assuming she’s coming out to look for a job and a place to live. this makes me very happy. she’s been living away in manitoba for over ten years and mom and i both miss her. i’m trying not to harbour any secret hopes that she’ll want to share a large, beautiful two-bedroom apartment with me. i think she’s one of a handful of people i could share accomodations with. but i’m getting ahead of myself, as usual.
got a bit of a headache today. it was probably too much fresh air and exercise from yesterday. stupid sunshiny days make me want to act outside the bounds of my capabilities. screw it, i’m going out again at lunch today. i’m having problems adjusting back into the flourescents. i’m so thankful for my window.
i made the mistake of looking in the computer paper with marie to give her an idea of what she’ll spend on a new computer for herself. i can upgrade my beastie for only a couple hundred bucks! no. i have that money earmarked for other things. i don’t need a new bloody computer. i’m still looking for that slot-1 celeron 550, though.
lots of work to do and very little desire to do it. want to go back to the aquarium (this time with someone *fun*) to attempt to talk my way into the seal habitat. i want to pet da vinci the harbour seal. *arf arf*
look what i got in the mail today!
Could not connect to SMTP server Connection refused
Location: http://fubsy.net/blog/archive/00001033.html#comments
email isn’t working. *pout*
this started as a comment to an entry paul wrote about his apartment building, but it got too long and, well, i wanted it on my site, dammit. these are the things i love/hate about my apartment:
i love that my building is an old, converted boys school.
i hate that there is no insulation in the walls.
i love having 14-foot ceilings and big, casement windows.
i hate that there is always a draft.
i love that all but one of my neighbours is quiet.
i hate that the one noisy neighbour lives right above me.
i love having a south-west exposure & gorgeous view.
i hate that in the summer it heats up to over 30°.
i love having a balcony with fire escape stairs to sit on.
i hate that i never sit outside.
i love how bright it is.
i hate how bright it is in the mornings when trying to sleep in.
i love how cozy it feels.
i hate that i don’t have a bedroom.
i love the black & white tile on my kitchen counters.
i hate the “apartment size” stove.
i love the quiet, residental neighbourhood.
i hate the limited street parking.
i love the xmas presents we get from the landlords.
i hate that i don’t know a single one of my neighbours.
i love how afforable the rent is.
i hate how i will never want to pay more than i do now.
i love how close it is to my friends & father.
i hate having to cross a bridge to get to work.
i love never having to wear slippers.
i hate not being able to paint the walls.
i drank coffee. i had pain and nausea. i set up a website for a stranger who asked me nicely. i had a nap. i did laundry. i bought myself white & orange daisies. i had dinner with my daddy. i watched trudeau. i read email which made me smile. i ate a peanut butter easter egg. i wrote this entry. i went to bed.
i like sleeping alone, but some mornings i wish there was someone beside me. i’d roll over and press myself up against their back, snake my arms around their waist, kiss the back of their neck, nuzzling and breathing in their sleepy smell. as they slowly woke and moved closer to me with a lethargic shimmy, i’d purr softly in their ear…
“honey, will you please make the coffee?”
well, i wanted to go to a nice, funky, comfy coffeeshop and read my new book; the friends had other ideas. instead, we went to the pub, drank beer, ate nachos, played cards and tried to win meat. now i’m home, filled with tootsie roll goodness and reeking of smoke. i got more than my quota of smoke without once taking a puff (not that i didn’t threaten to). my throat feels like sandpaper and my chest is all tight. now i’ll have to have another shower before i go to bed and wash all the clothes i was wearing. i need to keep those two to the smoke-free pubs from now on.
i can’t believe i didn’t want to smoke! not once, not really. i did really want one on the way back from the aquarium yesterday, but that was just a post-traumatic cigarette craving.
“do you want to see my lizard?” what was i thinking?!
today is turning out to be “spontaneous tears day”. i want to say i don’t know why i’m crying like a baby every quarter-hour, but i do. the death of the queen mother yesterday has affected me in a most personal manner and i’m having much difficulty dealing with the emotions it’s bringing up.
i’ve always loved and regarded the monarchy. i believe they are an important link to our shared history with the united kingdom. i’m intrigued by the concept of kings and queens in an age where no one believes any one person should be held above the most common man. that being said, it is more of a familial link which has reduced me to a sobbing wreck these last two days.
my grandmother loved the queen mum; elizabeth was her favourite royal. in tradition and want to emulate my gran, she became my favourite royal as well. in some way, i believed that as long as she lived a part of my gran would, too. now she’s gone and i’m feeling the loss of them both — the end of an era for the british monarchy and a second mourning for the only grandparent i ever knew.
so, you want to have a conversation with me? these are the topics i can discuss anytime, anywhere, without a trace of shyness (in no particular order):
– computers
– food/cooking
– television
– travel
– movies
– cats
– the internet
– dreams
– hair care products
– hockey
– golf cars
that was so not worth the worry.
now i shall move on to the next boy. sans lipstick.
i’m going to die.
tomorrow, i’m going to do something i never do… i’m going to wear lipstick. that’s what you do when you go out with a boy, right? you wear lipstick? bold, defined, kissable lips. that’s the look i’m going for. *snort*
i’m so not going to sleep tonight.
i’m stealing this idea from david at swish cottage. on all my official documents, it says my eyes are blue, but i’m not convinced. if they are, they’re an odd shade of blue. so, what do you think? what colour do you think my eyes are?
