i just woke up. coffee’s perking. my motor skills haven’t quite revived yet, though. i have a plan for the day, but to outline it would box me in. instead, you’ll just have to follow me around like a reality tv camera crew to find out where i’ve gone and what i’m up to. ha ha!
went to the pub for dinner and socializing to take my mind off the day from hell. drank too much, too quickly. puked into a japanese maple. felt much better. switched pubs for onion rings & poutine. made conversation with the couple at the neighbouring table. home now. tired now. head hurts, but at least i know it’s from the beer.
good night.
i was going to say that this day couldn’t get much worse, but then lynne told me everything i’d done yesterday had to be reversed and reentered.
i’m kind of wishing i’d taken a vacation day.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
i’m so mad right now. not even at what made me upset so much as that i was in this great, happy, cute, friday mood and now it’s ruined. i walked into work to a SHITLOAD of resumes to process (i mean approximately 500, labeled “first batch”). that’s fine. i knew there was a backlog. i had specifically asked valerie to leave them for me to get started on this morning. what pissed me off was the reply to my email. “I hope you realize they will be part of an ongoing process.” fuck you, bitch.
yes, i know they are. they always have been. they always will be. oops. except when you’re too busy to give them to me. riiiight. then you sit on them for three months and expect me to rush when you finally get around to giving them to me. fuck. i’m so mad. it’s hard to really explain without knowing the work i do, who i do it for and they dynamics of the company; but, suffice it to say, she is not my priority and she’s going to have to realize that. my time is promised to other people before her. if she doesn’t like it, then too fucking bad.
i hate conflict, but she and i are going to have a little conversation today. if she wants her shit done, then she’s going to have to learn to accomodate me. i’ve bent over backwards to save her ass this last year. it’s time for her to bend a little for me. grr!
three things:
1. my head hurts. a lot.
2. here’s your damn mpeg, brought to you by feelings i shouldn’t have but can’t ever fight:
“True” by Spandeau Ballet
3. that is NOT a side note, dammit! i want, nay, i demand more details!
psst… it’s hockey season! *little wriggle of joy*
i did something this morning i never do. when i walked into reception at work this morning, one of the new trainees was standing at the elevator. so i stuck out my hand and said “hi. i’m heather.” then we chatted a bit about how his first week was going and where i worked in the company.
when i got to my desk to unpack my stuff i noticed my hands were shaking a little. i never introduce myself to anyone like that. ever. i’d rather stand there in awkward silence than risk my first impression on my bumbling tongue
i don’t know why i did it. i know i’ve been thinking lately about having to develop some confidence in myself, confidence to project to others. i supoose this was a good first step. “hi. i’m heather.” three words. i can handle that again. right?
p.s. i totally forgot it was thursday today. you’ll have to wait until i get home for the the mpeg. sorry!
i just deleted a post full of whiny crap that no one cares about. i mean, if it annoyed me to read over it, i’m fairly sure it would have driven anyone else away.
i look, and feel, like crap warmed over today. i don’t usually *look* at myself in the mirror in the morning while i’m getting ready. i tend to just pay attention to the bits i’m dealing with at the moment (mouth when i’m brushing my teeth, hair when i’m coiffing, etc). i did, however, catch a glimpse of my total self in the hall mirror as i was leaving for work and i came to the conclusion i look like shit today. if you saw me this morning the first thing you’d think would be “shit, she looks *tired*”. you wouldn’t be wrong. i am tired. although, i’m not exactly sure why. i got a full eight hours of sleep. i didn’t have any traumatic dreams from which i awoke bawling my eyes out like on the weekend. bleh.
in other news, i’m thinking of dying my hair. it’s been over two years. i’ve had enough of my natural colour. i think it’s time to go red again, especially now that i’ve discovered these incredible ringlets my hair is producing.
to do today:
– drink (more) coffee.
– throw out loaf of crappy, cheap bread i bought in an ill-fated cost-saving measure.
– buy more good, but expensive, bread.
– while at store buying good bread, get carrots, tortillas, oranges & feminine napkins.
– put dishes away.
– dispose of spider carcass.
– read one chapter of book club book.
– take garbage out.
– try to ignore funky smell emanating from basement.
– shower.
– contemplate the pros/cons of exhibiting consumer confidence in times of financial upheaval (ie. “do i buy a cd-burner now, or wait and ask for one for xmas?”)
– drink (more) water.
– work (ie. wade through never-ending sea of papers in hopes of stumbling across a floatation device).
i’m almost hungry for a re-design. it’s making me antsy. i wish i didn’t have so much actual work to do at the office so i could expend this rare burst of creative energy. *twitch*
after taking a look at andrea’s photography, i started thinking about being a photographer. i think that when you start taking photographs you start to look at your world from a slightly different angle. you tilt your head to the left, then to the right, and you pause for just a moment and consider the esthetics of each view. then you record whichever one speaks to you most closely. when i have the urge to take photos, i notice my attention being drawn to things i wouln’t normally give a second thought to. i think about whether i would make it a close up or a long shot, what kind of filter or exposure would best suit the feeling i want to convey.
the same goes for weblogging. when i have the urge to write, i stop and take a little more stock of my life and the things which occur both in and around it. i pause more often to consider how i can share the feelings i’m experiencing at that moment. i look for opportunities to share my observations with others. sometimes they’re blurry or off-centre or over-exposed. but even then, they have their value.
these are my word photographs.
this site is their frame.
wow. bomb threat. who knew checking for suspicious packages was part of my duties as fire warden?
books i have reserved at the library:
sushi for beginners by marian keyes
american gods by neil gaiman
the professor and the madman by simon winchester
fast food nation by eric schlosser
book i currently have checked out from the library:
outlander by diana gabaldon
last four books i checked out from the library:
automated alice by jeff noon
gilgamesh by stephan grundy
harry potter 3 by j.k. rowling
harry potter 4 by j.k. rowling
for the last couple of weeks i’ve wanted to watch run, lola, run again. i’m still not sure why i loved that movie so much.
okay, hopefully everyone (except me, from home, it seems) should be getting here via fubsy.net again. i don’t understand why sometimes it switches over asap and others it takes forever. but, anyway. you may notice the little checkbox below the comment submit button. if you check it, you will not have to retype your info in the forms! yay! i wish i could take the credit for finally figuring out the cookies, but i just stole something someone else had written. sorry it took so long.
in other news… there is no other news. i have amazing amounts of work to do, but my hair is too curly to concentrate on work. i have this artistic bug bite and all i want to do is make more stupid wallpaper.
the single girl’s guide to killing spiders: drop heavy book (preferably metro white pages) onto spider. wait three days. vacuum.
the colours of the sky this morning reminded me so much of the memphis sunset i drove away from five years ago that i nearly had to pull over so i could cry.
dammit, i had this really profound thought while i was coming up from the basement, then i got busy doing… well, nothing, and i’ve forgotten it. that’ll learn me.
my big accomplishments for today: taped shows watched, laundry laundered, body showered, coffee quota met & hard drive defragmented.
i was sitting on the futon, procrastinating vacuuming (i still am, can you tell?), and i realized just how much i *love* doing nothing. just sitting. maybe picking at a zit or braiding, unbrading, rebraiding my hair. not thinking. not. doing. anything.
hey, i’m pretty zen, huh? yeah, i know. it’s just a nice way to say “fat & lazy like buddha”.