*phone rings*
me: MIS
him: is this heather?
me: yes.
him: the one and only?
me: there can be only one.
him: *laugh* do you know who this is?
me: nope.
him: so i could play with you for a while then?
me: not over the phone, you couldn’t.
him: ooh! *laugh* you’re quick! *laugh* good one!
me: i try.

so, yeah. last night, i went to bed with a twinge of a headache. i thought briefly of taking something before i fell asleep, but i figured i could sleep it off. it usually works. when i woke two hours later, still feeling pain, i probably should have taken something, but i didn’t. i rolled over and went back to sleep. an hour after that, upon waking, i was again stubborn and refused myself medication for the headache which would not die. finally, at five a.m. i double-dosed myself with advil migraine liqui-caps and prayed that the forty minutes i had until my alarm went off would be sufficient for the “fast acting” meds to take away the vague nausea which was starting to radiate from the base of my skull. there was no way i could possibly take another day off work and there was also no way for me to function at work with this calibre of a headache.
thank god for medication. i love drugs, dammit. although my head is still not “right” (shuddup), i can deal with the foggy, slow-mo sensation i’m currently experiencing much better than intense nausea and photophobia i was sure to be subjected to without medicinal assistance.
i’m so grateful i don’t get migraines on a regular basis. twice a year are more than enough for me, thank you.

what’s with the 9 o’clock bathroom rush? sheesh… are all our bladders in synch or something?
i want my own private bathroom. on the door (which locks), there will be a sign which reads “hessie’s loo”. the door will be red. no, purple. a nice shade of soft purple. and it will have a brass handle and one of those nifty keypad locks so i won’t ever have to fumble with keys to get into my water closet. it will be decorated tastefully in shades of coffee and forest green. the toilet seat will be padded. and heated. the toilet paper will be of the finest quality available and it will dispense from behind the roll, not over it. the floor will be covered in a dense, lush carpet. when i enter, i will remove my shoes and socks just to wiggle my toes in the squishy goodness which it provides. there will be a small window, through which a soft, cool, spring-scented breeze will waft in all year long, regardless of the true season. on the back of the purple door there will hang a mirror, a magic mirror, in which my reflection will be svelte, sexy and elegant, despite any spots, wrinkles of puffiness i may be experiencing on any given day. i will have soft, white hand towels and an assortment of expensive lotions for my ablutions. on those days which i require a titch of follicle assistance, a golden, braided pull-cord dangling from the ceiling will bring jose eber to my tresses’ rescue with the latest in styling products and techniques. all the while, soft instrumental music is soothing my harried soul as it emanates from a camoflauged dolby 5.1 surround sound system.
yes, i need my own bathroom.

hey kids… it’s time again for that über-cool thursday morning mpeg!!
“Patricia the Stripper” by Chris de Burgh
yes, the same fellow of “lady in red” fame (which i can’t think of without seeing gene wilder’s fuzzy blond hair in my head). my best childhood friend introduced me to chris de burgh when i was twelve or so. this and “a spaceman came travelling” were, and still are, my favourite singles. of course, now i’m going to have “lady in red” in my head all day…

my new favourite cooking show is nigella bites. it’s got all the hip british phraseology of the naked chef without that bloody wiggly camera work. plus, no matter how cute jamie oliver is, he’s a bit of a freak and his ADD mannerisms get old really quick. now, nigella… i want her for a roommate, not only because her pantry & freezer are stuffed with culinary goodness, but because she just seems down-to-earth and real.
if you’re as much of a cooking show freak as i am, you’ll love her. i guarantee it!

i was so eager to get back to work after my sick-day that i arrived forty-five minutes early and didn’t spend any of that time surfing online. i got right to work. i’m still working, two hours later. and it looks like i’ll be working all day! imagine, working all day long. i can’t. it makes me dizzy. oh, wait, maybe that’s my cold meds. ah-ha! cold medication makes me productive! no wonder they have the closed air circulation system in this building. the sicker we are, the more cold meds we’ll take and the more work we’ll get done in our drug-induced fogs. i’ve got their number, yes i do. can’t pull the wool over my eyes!
in other news, my hair is super ringlety today and everyone’s commenting on how adorable i am. yay me!

fuck fuck fuck! www.we-host.com suck donkey dick! i’m so mad at them, i could spit. anyway, just to warn you, things are going to be a bit bumpy around here for the next week while i try to cancel my account with that donkey-dicked hosting company. as before, you can always find the most current version here. otherwise, my apologies for the debris.

ooh… i just got invited to a housewarming this friday by one of the cool kids at work. i should go, just to socially rub shoulders with more of the cool kids from work. i probably won’t though. i’m hoping i’ll be going to the new pub with my friends instead. besides, this guy’s house is in surrey. surrey sucks. ask jason.

other than the getting ill, it was a fairly decent weekend. mom & i watched movies (memento, meet the parents, and x-men), went shopping, visited relatives and ate junk food. i spent too much money both on her and myself. i ended up getting two new long-sleeved shirts for fall, a pair of purple-plaid pajama pants and the neatest jacket i’ve ever owned — it’s red with racing stripes!
yesterday, being her birthday, i ran into her room, jumped on the bed and sang ‘happy birthday’ as badly as i could to wake her up. then i made her an omelette, changed the headlight in her car and then did some routine maintenance to her computer. it’s a good thing she’s easily pleased by these small token gestures.

i’b god a code im by node. i’m hoping the reason i talked to the six pylons which were in the elevator this morning was due to the dayquil i took this morning and not because i’m starting to prefer inanimate objects to chat with. although, i’d really like it if people would stop fucking bugging me this morning. i’m sick, people! leave me alone!!
oh, how i wish i had an office door i could close.

i don’t feel even the least bit guilty that i’m spending the last hour of my workday playing project 156. besides, it’s just a matter of time before the network crashes thanks to nimda. i’d ony frustrate myself if i was in the middle of actual work when it crashed.

i’m going away this weekend. i’m going to visit my mom. it’s her birthday on sunday. it’s going to be the “all mom, all the time” weekend. the only thing i’m insisting on is our watching memento. other than that, whatever she wants, she gets. aren’t i the best kid in the world?

i’m cranky. i’m pissed that people are dumping work on me left, right and centre. it’s all VERY IMPORTANT and they NEED IT ASAP. the work doesn’t bother me. what does is that most of the RUSH could have been avoided if THEY had been more ORGANIZED and didn’t fucking PROCRASTINATE. salad tossers.
so, i’ve downloaded some techno/ambient/i-don’t-know-the-cool-name-for-it music and i’ve got that looping in the background. i really hope it helps to distract my murderous urges. it would just be so *satisfying* to bludgeon kerry with her fucking budget book…

the internet is boring.
this happens to me every few months. it’s an odd cycle. i hit a slump and nothing online interests me. it’s usually preceeded by a steep curtailment of interaction with the people i’m closest to. then, somehow, that lack of conversation, and the patina of blah which accompanies it, starts to colour the medium through which that conversation is made.
either that or the rest of the world decided to be boring all at the same time.