i can’t concentrate on anything lately. i have a story i want to tell you about what could have been my first lesbian experience, but i just can’t wrap my head around the language needed to express it in a coherent manner. i re-read the last week’s posts and i was appalled. i start out on one tangent and end somewhere completely different, neither truly resolved. i’m focused on small things right now. glasses. travel arrangements. money. landlords. volunteering. tomb raider. it frustrates me that i seem incapable of lucid prose. i know i’m better than what i’ve been producing. at least i like to believe so.
hairy scrotums [no thanks]
pearl harbour soundtrack [look! they spelled it with a ‘u’]
leave it to beaver dirty [“don’t forget to wash behind your ears, beaver!”]
“pubic shaving” [thanks for the reminder]
cherry coke in calgary [hey, ruzz…]
– i’ve been sleeping in the buff a lot lately.
– a moving truck ran over the stop sign on the corner last night.
– i saw this ’cause i had to move my car so it could finish getting around the corner.
– billy likes my design.
– i had a bad dream about my mother and grandmother last night.
– paige rocks beyond anything which has rocked before or shall rock forthwith.
– meghan & mark are going to drive me to seattle next week.
– i’m wearing sparkly eye shadow today.
– said eye shadow is making my eyes itch.
– my hair is really soft today.
– i made soup & did laundry last night.
– i totally pigged out, too.
– but it was just massive quantities of healthy food.
– i want my glasses NOW.
– ten days until seattle
– i still need shoes to go with my posh frock.
– have i mentioned how fucking great paige is? ;)
– my bra feels really uncomfortable today.
finally having some sort of a logo + cafepress account sitting around gathering dust + some time on my hands + a creative urge last night = my very own store.
i didn’t mark these up at all, so if you buy them you’re just buying them for you. not that i expect anyone to buy them except for me, but i’m a dork like that. they look crappy in the small views, so click to zoom in on the pictures to see what they’ll really look like.
yadda yadda.
i left work an hour early yesterday to go pick out my glasses. i got ’em! well, i picked out my frames and paid my deposit and, hopefully, i’ll have them in my hot little hands by the end of the week. yay!
i was standing there, trying on different frames, for an hour. i think i’d found the pair, and then i’d try on a different set and be absolutely sure i’d not find anything better. this went on and on and on. finally, the technician/saleswoman pointed out a pair she thought would look good and bingo! i’d found my specs. they’re nothing at all like i thought i wanted, but they’re cute and funky, which is pretty much what i was going for.
i asked what my prescription was and when she told me i felt kind of dumb for spending so much money on a pair of glasses i could have bought just as easily at the pharmacy. oh well. i couldn’t have gotten my super-spiffy frames at walmart! when i start to think about the waste of money, i’ll just remind myself that i get most of it back from the insurance company. she also told me i have a slight astigmatism in my left eye. i’m not sure what that is, so i’m going to go look it up.
arriving home in the wee hours of saturday night/sunday morning i found the other tenants of my building had parked haphazardly along the street leaving me no option but to park on the other half of the block where i have never parked before. i didn’t think much of it until i went to go grocery shopping and was waylaid by the neigbour i will heretofore refer to as “scary talking man”.
it was a drizzly afternoon and i was hoping to get done my shopping really quickly before i went to meet my dad for dinner. i should have known things wouldn’t go as planned when i got accosted by scary talking man as i went to my car. he went on about how my landlords, being german, had tried to take over the neighbourhood and he, as the son of ukranian immigrants, wouldn’t stand for that. i apologized for parking in his sphere. he quickly assured me i wasn’t my fault, they were for not providing sufficient parking.
i was out there, standing in the drizzle for a little over half an hour. his daughter has the same kind of car as mine, but a few years older. he’s offered me a set of snow tires if want them. he’s a retired ear, nose & throat specialist. the minister’s son who lives in the neighbourhood used to break into cars. he’s had a car stolen from his driveway. his children went to the “bad” highschool. he really hates my landlords. i didn’t have the heart to tell him they’re selling.
sweet old guy, but still a scary talking man.
in the wee hours this morning, after the thunder woke me and i fell back to sleep, i had a sex dream about someone who reads this. what a sex dream it was, too! you may now commence your speculation.
i knew i was a light-weight when it came to alcohol, but there was no reason for that piddling amount of beer to mess me up that bad, that fast. maybe it was the combination of the brew and my dilated pupils, which messed up my vision all night. it was actually an interesting combination, especially while attempting to negotiate stairs!
right, the eye doctor. first off, i’m sure i’ve explained my half-blue/half-brown eye. of course, when i go see an eye professional i try to gauge just how common these things are. at one point during the exam he did a little double-take on it and i asked him if he’d seen one like before. he said he had, but not many, maybe three or four in fifteen years of practice. “so you’re quite unique,” he said. that made me smile.
the diagnosis: i’m far-sighted and i could benefit from a prescription for near-work (computers, reading, writing, crocheting, etc), especially since i use a computer all day, every day, even in my off hours. he said i could live without them, but i may find some relief from the eyestrain i’ve been getting after prolonged periods at the computer.
i’m just chomping at the bit to run back to his office to try on glasses and put my order in! glasses! i’m going to finally have glasses! yay! it doesn’t hurt that i have an eyeglass allowance in my medical package from work, so i get a fairly substantial amount of the cost back, either. maybe i’ll swing by after i’m finished my laundry.
glasses!! i’m so excited. *beam*
i am leaving work at two o’clock to go renew my driver’s license, get my eyes checked & then have dinner at Big Al’s Taste of Louisiana — click for directions if you want to come meet us for collard greens, gumbo and sweet potato pie.
Hey, heather, you’re a Poet!
You’re complex, artistic, and misunderstood. You enjoy a rich inner life. You’re often seen sitting alone in a café, scribbling thoughts in a journal. Or maybe leafing through the pages of some dusty, arcane novel from the 17th century. You’re shy and quiet, and you enjoy peaceful, comfortable environments. When you get older, you’re going to listen to Musak.
You work hard to do the right thing, and you sometimes beat yourself up for making mistakes. While you don’t make friends all that easily, you relish the ones you have. Everyone else thinks you’re a bit loony — but who cares, right? You enjoy intense one-on-ones or small, intimate dinner parties. You dig candles. And you’re an interesting person to know, full of insights and inspiration, even though you’re sometimes hesitant to express them.
You don’t like to juggle too much at work, and you can get stressed out by major job upheavals. You prefer to sit alone in your cubicle, working diligently on your own projects while dreaming of becoming a shepherd. You enjoy harmonious working relationships and avoid coworkers who send porn over company email.
[another winner from emode]
i think that is one of the smartest album titles i’ve heard in a long time. go blink, baby.
speaking of music, i watched the last half of the mtv movie awards last night. i couldn’t help but think that all awards shows should be so irreverent yet scripted. i want a pit of screaming fans and an presenter who pees his pants at the oscars. i want tom cruise to embarrass himself by saying “thank you” 53 times, but nothing else, at the golden globes. the best part of the show? the award, itself. i don’t want some stylized naked guy or artsy globe. gimme a bucket of golden popcorn, dammit! besides that, i liked that you could tell the people were having a good time. i like to see people having a good time.
so, yeah. in my completely ignorant opinion, henceforth all awards shows shall be styled after the mtv awards. it has been decreed. you may take your leave of me now.
i just saw, and actually talked to, cute married rob for the first time in i don’t know how long. he’s still just as cute, and, unfortunately, still just as married. my heart is racing. my cheeks are flushed. *sigh* if i’d only kissed him when i had the chance, maybe i’d be mrs. cute married rob!
when i arrived home from work yesterday there was a small, folded piece of paper slipped under my door with my name and apartment number written on it. this is how my landlord contacts me. i thought briefly what it could be about as i unfolded it and started to read. what it said was the very last thing i was expecting.
you have to know that my landlords are a very nice, old-country german couple. joe & edith. i’m not sure of the details, but i believe they’ve owned my building for a number of years as a make-work, retirement-income kind of investment. they give all the tenants gifts for xmas and when they come back from their yearly desert sabbatical. they’re all-round nice people. i can’t help but appreciate how lucky i was to find them as my first landlords.
what the note said was that they have come to the decision to list the building with a realtor. they’re selling my home. three things could come as a result of this:
one: nothing. everything will stay the same. the new owners will love the building as much as joe & edith and keep the status quo.
two: they’ll keep everything the same, but raise the rents to pay for the realtor’s commission.
three: the new owners will kick everyone out and do something horrible by either razing the structure and building a monster house or renovate it into a single-family dwelling again (which, honestly, i’d do if i had the money).
my reactions to these three scenarios will most likely be:
one: rejoice and buy more stuff to clutter with.
two: consider the amount of the increase. if it is modest, i may elect to stay. if it is dramatic enough, it may be more prudent to leave and get a one-bedroom.
three: quickly look for a new home, weeping all the while.
i’m hoping for the best, but planning for the worst. that means trying to sock some money away for a damage deposit and utility fees if i have to make a hasty exit.
when i get my camera, the first subject i’m going to work with is coffee. yup, coffee. for as long as i can remember, i’ve been fascinated with the way cream roils about in a hot cup of java. it bubbles and writhes as it comes to the top. clouds in a blackened sky. next time you poor cream into your morning coffee, pay attention. it really is beautiful.
that’s my plan, to set up a little studio in my kitchen and photograph coffee and cream all day long.
stop looking at me like that. i’m fine. really.
i was struck by a sudden, sadistic urge this morning on my way to work. one morning, while on my commute, i’m going to put my four-way flashers (aka hazards) on and drive the entire way at no more than 20 kilometres per hour. of course, it will take me half the day to get to work, but damn, it’ll be fun annoying hundreds of commuters along the way.
picayune (pik-uh-YOON)
adjective
1. Of little value or significance.
2. Petty, small-minded.
noun
1. A Spanish-American coin equal to half the value of a real (a silver coin).
2. A small coin, especially a five-cent piece.
3. Something or someone of little value.
[thanks to a word a day]
marie: who needs chocolate when you have cigarettes?
no. not really. i just really like that phrase.
this post is dedicated to the addition of this site to the ageless project. check it out. add your site. c’mon, all the kids are doin’ it.
marie got the finance job. amelita got the mailroom job. my only hope is that jan did not get the attendant job, but that’s not looking too likely at all. if she did, then i’m completely fucked and i might actually consider not going away to avoid the next two weeks being hell.
there are 13 working days until i go away. that’s 13 days i’ll have to be with anna in order to even attempt getting through her thick skull how to do my job. these defections from my department have left me with not a single person trained to relieve me. i know this shouldn’t be my problem and i shouldn’t start to cry when it comes to mind, but it is and it does.
i really am happy for the three of them that they got the jobs they wanted. i am. i was in limbo for six months until i got status in my job. it’s not a happy feeling. but, my pleasure for them is tempered with dread for me and i hate that i can’t be one-hundred percent glad for them.
to top it all off, the new position in my department that i’ve been waiting for a year to be created has been posted. the job i’ve been aching to get. the job i’ve wanted from the moment my father told me about, because he knew it would make me happy. well, they modified it from a PC technician to network support with a cne or msce requirement. i’m now no longer qualified for it. i’m going to be doing data entry for the rest of my life.
i’ve spent most of the morning, in between writing here and doing actual payroll monday work, checking out different kinds of eyeglasses at eyeglasses.com. the absolute best part of the site is the ability to upload a picture of yourself and then put a variety of different frames on your face to see which look good and which go horribly wrong.
no, i haven’t been to the optometrist yet. this is all in preparation of finally needing glasses. you know, i’m going to be so terribly disappointed if my eyes are still good.