there are three things which bring me to tears within seconds of my thinking about them. they are:
– my grandmother’s demise the summer i turned eighteen.
– my cat, spud, waiting for me to return home from vacation to see me once more before she died.
– the events of seattle 2001.
i really shouldn’t think about any of them at the office.
I’m sorry. *hug* I’m here if you need to empty it all out and get rid of it.
Goddess, the Dumping Grounds.
I hate to be a pain in the ass here, dear, but here I go anyway. Two thoughts come to mind. One, the more you try to forget something happened, the more you’re going to think about it at inopportune times. And it’s going to hurt more. When I try to pretend something didn’t happen, or something didn’t bother me, or whatever, and I try to shove the memory of it away, what it does, instead of going away, is it begins to eat a hole in my heart. And it doesn’t stop. It hurts.
The other thing is, I know that when things have bothered me, similar to this, the only thing that helped was to talk about it. Find someone, anyone, that you trust enough, and just blurt it out. Because stuff doesn’t have so much power over you when you admit to how you’re feeling. Plus, the person you share it with may have some insights, or they may just be the right kind of listener that you feel better afterwards. I was telling a good friend the other day that I only feel better after I talk about stuff.
I’m not trying to force you to talk to me, or anyone else online, or anyone else period. But I really think it would help, and I hate to see you in pain. Makes me sad.
That is all.
Agreed, hiding feelings does not make them go away. They end up manifesting themselves into other things and invading other parts of your life and mind.
Oprah said it best one day and I’m paraphrasing here…You can build a scab over a wound but it will continue to bleed until you have healed it completely.
Ew – you said “scab”.