feeling

by

oh my god, i feel absolutely miserable. it’s just come and washed over me in the last hour.
i feel pathetic for not having anyone in my life who loves me romantically (and subsequently getting accounts on two different online dating sites and not getting one single response). i feel lazy and fat for not being able to exercise this week because of my sore back. i feel stupid for thinking, even for a moment, that i should get back together with morgan because no one will ever love me like he loved me and i should take what i can get and that he wasn’t really that bad and i’ll learn to love him in time. i feel angry with myself for eating an entire bag of baked lays last night when i wasn’t hungry and i didn’t really even want them. i feel disappointed in myself that i haven’t taken pictures in so long it almost hurts to look at anything. i feel frustrated that it’s only wednesday. i feel stressed about my mid-term tomorrow and the group assignment due next week. i feel anxious about all the things i need to get done before 6pm friday. i feel irresponsible for being in debt and having run out of money an entire week before payday. i feel worry and premature grief about my aging parents and absolutely despair for the day when they will no longer be around. i feel like a horrible friend for not seeing meghan in almost an entire month, always putting off making phone calls to karen, not being able to give back to jeremy what he gives to me and not having enough money or time to go visit heather.
feelings suck.

Posted in: words

6 Thoughts on “feeling”

  1. col on May 19, 2004 at 11:29 said:

    *hugs*

  2. Peg on May 19, 2004 at 11:31 said:

    Strange ..I got here and now i cant rememeber how or why I got here …all I know is that when I arrived , your words made me “feel” , you can watch the news as thousands hurt and you cant feel , I didnt feel pity or sorrow I just “FELT” , maybe some of your owrds struck a chord and finally I felt for myself .
    Your words today seemed to flow , seemed to come from the heart ……..its a brave thing your doing wearing your heart on your sleeve.
    Dont know if it will help you ,but today , just for a moment I thought of you and I felt with you
    Peg
    SCOTLAND UK

  3. (you know, that) Heather on May 19, 2004 at 17:09 said:

    Aww. Where I’m concerned, at least, eliminate any guilt. I demand it! :-)

  4. kaolin on May 19, 2004 at 21:29 said:

    aww, hessie girl if i could give you a great big hug right now i totally would. you should stop worrying so much. you’re beautiful. you’ve lost twenty pounds and right now you’re my inspiration. i mean it. tomorrow i’m joining a gym and i want to loose thirty. don’t give up. school will pass. don’t take the ex back. friends understand about stuff. family too. if you want to worry about aging and death, go work in a nursing home. if not – stop your worrying and enjoy life while you still have it. ok? love love love. i’m giving some of my love to you. maybe it will make you feel better. if not, i’ll just have to give you some more. hang in there hon.

  5. christine on May 20, 2004 at 05:20 said:

    you should never be with someone you can live with. you need to be with someone you cannot live without. *hugs* keep going, you’re brilliant to read.

  6. cyclone on May 20, 2004 at 14:08 said:

    I think you’ve just described the human condition….. Don’t despair, you’re not the only one. My Wednesday was about the same. Today is muchbetter.
    It must be the ionosphere or bio-rhythms or something?

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