file this under things you didn’t want to know

the last week or so has been a bucketful of suck for me.
thanks to the chemical manipulation of hormones, my uterus decided to exact revenge on me and cause untold horrors of pain and bleeding of previously unimagined proportions. i’ve whined and complained during my monthly shedding before, but this… this was indescribable. i spent an entire day at work doubled over and audible whimpering — yes, whimpering — because no amount of ibuprofen would cease the unrelenting cramps.
the doctor said that i’d have to “grin and bear it” because it’s just my body getting used to being on birth control pills and it could take a couple months to settle down. seriously? if next month is anything like the last nine days — yes, nine days — i might honestly contemplate the possibility of homicide. i don’t know who would be my victim(s), but i think i’ll start drafting a list. just in case.
to add insult to injury, i got sick on friday. i woke with both cramps and a dry, scratchy throat. christopher came over and took very good care of me, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. that was reserved for friday night’s sleeping disaster. every breath seemed to attack my nose and throat with sandpaper. by dawn i was so raw, sore and un-rested i gave up the idea of sleeping altogether. i watched some tv shows, somehow managed to have a bath and get laundry done and then the headache started. by five-thirty, after ordering the fastest delivery of chinese food ever, my head began to feel like it was filled with satan’s own bile. the pounding and buzzing and bloating was excruciating. again, no amount of tylenol would make even so much as a dent in the agony, so i went to bed. at six o’clock. on a saturday night.
luckily, sleep came much easier and was actually restful this time. even though i have been up since six-thirty, it hasn’t been so bad (and i seem to have ditched the headache during the night – thank god). i’ve spent the morning eating chinese left-overs and reading the entire archives of here is the house, dana bushman’s blog chronicling the purchase and year-long renovation of a four-storey townhouse in brooklyn, new york. for a self-confessed reno-show junkie like me, it was a fantastic way to spend a dark and rainy sunday morning.
the worst part of all this body grossness was missing the buffy sing-along at the pacific cinematheque yesterday! i might have dragged my crampy self there, if that had been the extent of my disabilities, but since i had lost my voice during the night (oh, how very “hush”) and was hacking up a lung every 37.2 seconds, i didn’t think a sing-along was where i should have been. luckily, even though i was incommunicado, shane managed to re-purpose my ticket for his friend, which made me happy to find out today. i think i might even get my $12 back for it! joy!
i feel the need to get something accomplished (other than getting better, obviously), so i think i’ll tackle my filing today. there’s nothing like sitting on the living room floor surrounded with a year’s worth of paper trail to make a girl’s sunday into something magical. hey, it’s either that or dust, and everyone knows just how futile that is, right?
here’s to next week being a lot lower on the craptastic scale…