i’m going to die!

they took me downstairs into the basement, luring me with promises of candy and gentle whispering. i had no idea what was in store for me. i signed my name on the dotted line and then it happened. the woman with the devil inside her yanked down the neck of my shirt to expose my tender flesh to the harsh flourescent lights and chilly recycled air. before i could even comprehend my predicament she had a needle stuck in my arm! the pain! the agony! i didn’t think i’d live to see the dawn. then, as soon as it begun it was over, and i was thrust out the door into the grey light of mid-afternoon with an orange lollipop in my hand.
yeah, yeah… i had my first flu shot today. it wasn’t so bad, except for the psychosomatic tingles and numbness i’m feeling travelling up and down my arm. i keep expecting vile reactions. i mean, they just shot virii into me, afterall. there’s got to be some reaction somewhere inside. then i get paranoid and wonder if all this “get your flu shot!” rah-rah by doctors and medical pundits is just some evil plot to infect us all with some sort of tracking dna. ahh!! we’re all going to die!
you’d think with such reservations, regardless of how ludicrous, i’d stay as far from that needle as possible. normally, i would agree completely! but, at some time over the last few months, i was thinking about the flu shot process and came to the decision that i would get one this year. i had a really good reason, too. it had to have been good for me to go through with it. the funny thing is, i can’t remember what that reason was now. probably some subliminal message in my daily dose of buffy. those ratbastards are getting too sneaky!