incomplete

i’m wearing my new underwear today. i love the pretty little blue flowers on them.
for most of the day i’ve felt like complete ass. my head was in serious pain and it was only getting worse. i was so miserable i even cancelled plans to go bowling (bowling!) with col tonight. after snarfing an extra-strength bufferin from someone, i’m feeling a lot more human, but since i believe this is the beginnings of a bug most foul, i’m going to go straight home to rest up instead of rescheduling (sorry, col!). tonight will be all about the baked potato and sauted mushrooms i’m going to whip up for dinner, reading, messing about online and maybe, just maybe, going to get another shot for my super-secret photo essay project. ack, i have to phone karen, as well.
sometimes i’m amazed by what i get my knickers in a knot about. i was talking about my transgendered friend with col (thrice mentioned in one post!) today and i told her how i thought he was more shocked that i was so blase about his news when it broke than i was about the news itself. it really didn’t phase me in the least that my girl friend was going to become a boy.
i mention this because i kind of went a little nuts last night when a friend told me that he was going to be an uncle (his unmarried, younger brother and his girlfriend are the impending parents). i asked if they were going to get wed and his reply was something like “possibly, but they’re still getting over the shock of the pregnancy”. this of course flipped my if-people-are-too-stupid-to-use-birth-control-then-they-should-be-sterilized switch in my head. i get so upset when i hear about “accidental” pregnancies. ugh. i don’t really have any reason too, either. i guess i think about all those children who are subjected to sub-standard lives (abuse, poverty, etc) or people whose futures are compromised because someone didn’t say no when their partner insisted they didn’t need any birth control.
true accidents do happen — condoms break and no form of birth control is one hundred percent effective — i’m not a complete idiot, no matter how this is sounding. but it’s not an accident if you’re not taking responsibility for the possible outcomes of your copulation.
i’m not going to turn this into a pro-choice rant, even though i’m sorely tempted to. i just find it interesting how liberal i am when it comes to people making decisions for themselves and their own lives and how much of a nazi bitch i become when it comes to people bringing unplanned children into the world. i’ve made no secret of the fact that i don’t want kids and, generally, can’t stand them (with certain noteable exceptions); but, i hate the thought that people are still out there fucking indescriminately and then saying “oops” as they pop out kids they don’t have the means or inclination to support and bring up to the barest minimum of twenty-first century standards.
ugh, even just re-reading that makes me twitch. i’m going to go home.