just call me sister hessie

i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m never going to have sex again*. no, really. and not in a “woe is me, no one will ever want to have sex with me” kind of way. more like a “i don’t want to have sex with anyone”, “i think i should be celibate” way.
there are a lot of reasons, but mostly i think it boils down to two things:
– i don’t need the hassle. seriously! think about it, for the average schmoe who doesn’t have people throwing themselves at them begging to get naked & sweaty, the hunt for someone to get naked & sweaty with is a time-consuming business. there are so many other things i can do with my time instead of fretting over whether or not so-and-so would want to fuck me. i can have an orgasm pretty much any time i want one without anyone else’s participation. why put myself through that what-if hell? screw that (not literally), i’m going to put that energy towards more noble pursuits.
– i’m not very fond of being naked with company. most of the time, i don’t like the way my body looks clothed, let alone naked. but, i’m getting better about it, or i’m good at ignoring the fact since i spent about 95% of my time at home unclothed. but with someone else? naked? where they can see me? possibly in daylight? *shudder* i don’t think so. there’s hope that one day i’ll be over this impediment of mine, but for the time being i’m using it as a means to sustain my celibacy. it works for me.
*okay, i shouldn’t say never. if i’m lucky, i’ll meet someone before i die with whom i feel that overwhelming desire to share bodily fluids. if i’m even luckier, it will be something far more than chemicals driving us to ravenous thrusting. but, if i’m not so lucky, then i’ll have had lots of practice not, um, thrusting. hrm.
on second thought: is it considered sex if i get someone else off?
on third thought: i can’t help but think i wouldn’t be so willing to shuck off the idea of sex with a partner if i’d ever had truly great sex with someone else. i’m not blaming anyone, i just think it’s been better for them than for me. just a thought.