for remembrance day, i’ve slept. a lot. i ate some protein, then i slept. i ate some fruit, then i slept. i ate some pumpkin loaf and read a while, then i slept. now i’m going to put things in a container for lunch tomorrow, eat some soup, then i’ll sleep some more. i’m feeling better for all the rest, so it must be what i need.
there was an ad for an affordable, hardwood one bedroom in yesterday’s paper. again, i’m too chicken to phone. why the fuck am i so unwilling to uproot? it’s not the money, i can always pay off a little more debt. i think the concept of moving gets more and more HUGE the longer i’m here, the more settled i am. plus, i worked really hard to get to a point where i’m comfortable here again… i just need a new futon mattress and everything will be hunky-dory. or so i keep telling myself.
For Rememberance day, I was at school all day long. It wasn’t fun. In fact, it was rather stupid.
For years I lived in a tiny, one room efficiency, for no good reason other than hating the thought of moving. I hate to be uprooted, even when I’m doing it to myself, and into a better place.
i think that’s my problem. i’ve nested and it will take a lot for me to change now.