sometimes you just don’t want to ever wake up from a dream and that’s the kind i had last night.
i was in line to see jack black in concert. for some reason, we were all standing in front of a big wall of lockers and our tickets were combinations for the locker we were closest to. so, i opened my locker and got my secondary ticket out. when i looked around, jack was standing next to me rooting around in the locker he had opened. i immediately turned back around and started talking to myself inside my head:
oh. it’s jack black! wow! he’s right next to me! i should say something. no, you can’t say anything, he doesn’t want to talk to you. c’mon! he wouldn’t be out there if he didn’t want to be noticed! what would you say to him? i don’t know! hello, maybe. yeah, that’s intelligent. why can’t i say hello? he’s just a normal person.
before i knew it, i’d closed my locker door, looked at jack and said “hello”.
he looked up at me with a slightly surprised expression, then he smiled and said hello back. the next thing i knew we were huddled into a conversation which went something like:
jack: so, what’s your name?
me: heather.
jack: oh.. that sounds like “hun” to me. *batts lashes*
me: *blushes* what’s your middle name?
jack: harlon
me: *laughs*
jack: what? it’s not that funny!
me: yeah it is!
jack: is not! why is harlon so funny?
me: harlon? oh, shit. i thought you said “harmless”!
jack: *laughs*
me: *laughs*
we talked a little about other things and i gave him my card, then he had to go get ready for the show, so we said “nice to meet you” and “goodbye” and went our separate ways.
when i got to my seat, i started flipping through the program they’d handed me at the door. inside was an envelope with my name typed on it. i looked around to see if anyone i knew was there and then opened it. inside was a memo, a gift certificate and several small pieces of torn paper. the memo said “jack black requests the pleasure of your presence at slipknot’s after-show party. be prepared for the ding-ding-bling”. i read it several times, unbelieving of it’s authenticity. the gift certificate was some odd, unrelated voucher for a circus symphony which was to take place in the spring. the small pieces of paper turned out be most interesting. they were no more than quarter-sized notes written in a messy hand by jack himself.
when the show started, out he came now dressed in suit and tie, and he started his first set. he was all wired for sound and totally hilarious. at one point, he started walking around through the aisles and he passed by my seat. as he did, he recognized me, did a double-take and flashed me a huge smile. before i knew it, it was the first intermission and he’d snuck up behind me. we sat there in the balcony talking about our parents, why sunny delight tastes so good and totally grooving on each other.
the show continued, then he came and sat with me for the next intermission and we talked some more. before the last set, he asked me to wait for him backstage after the show. i said i would and he sent someone to escort me to his dressing room. suddenly he was back and we were alone and his stubbly face was kissing my neck and shoulders. of course, fantastic sex ensued. i’m still quivery thinking about it.
after the fantastic sex, we snuggled and such. i’d decided that i had better make a quick exit so he didn’t think i was a clingy person, but when i tried to leave, he pulled me back down into bed and kissed me hard. “i don’t think so, hun,” he said.
then i woke up. dammit.
A sex dream about Jack Black?
ew ew ew ew ew ew
heh, jack black rocks!
hmmm…is it me or is every weblog I’m checking today just plain odd? [nothing against Jack Black, he’s a funny dude]
sex…what’s that?
I, too, am strangely attracted to Jack Black. Of course, I do have a direct correlation between humor and sexiness… humor is incredibly sexy. So, that means, to me, he exudes sex. LOL.
this sight really suck it is so gay with really stupid questions i bet u get alot of these letters everday puttin this stght down cause it is so gay man some things people come up with r really stupid
who the hell is jack black if he is black then he must be hot if he is white then maybe but i don’t fuckin know who the guy is but who really cares and who ever don’t know what sex is is really stupid jamie is writin next
Shut ur mouth nikki. Black sheep is the bomb. The questions arent gay they’re well thought out..so shut your mouth
sex fuckin rocks
lol sex is the operation when ur communication hits a guys information..to repopulate the population,for a younger generation…do u get this conversation or do u need a demostration.
jack black do u want to have a 3sum with me and jamie it will be fun ha ha
lol sounds really good. so how bout it? Jack Blakc? can i see ur snake?
kool
hay u sexy beast
jamie is a pig fucker
what u be sayin i only love them because they have big dick
ya well u da niger lover! i dont fuck pigs i fuck punks!!
have at least they have a taste to them
u one sick perv get a life! Dont wory ppl we re friends…….untill i kill her
hah! thanks for playing, kids!
Well. Alrighty then.
Can I just say, Heather is insanely intelligent/artistic? This dream, and the detail with which it is recounted here, speaks volumes about the intricate nuances of H’s sense of humor, creativity, and just plain “getting it” quotient. The comments here are something akin to guests on Jerry Springer waxing philosophic about Nietzsche. Heather, you are casting pearls before swine, my friend… pearls before swine.