let’s have fun, dammit!

two weeks of pilates and already my posture has improved. i suppose that’s the point, but who knew i’d take to sucking in and standing tall so quickly? at least i’m no longer in pain when i sneeze, walk or breathe. they really should warn you that your abdominal muscles really do get used for almost everything.
it’s a typical post-scholastic thursday. i stayed up way past my bedtime tuesday night to finally get a start on my homework (which didn’t go as well as it could have. i’m just thankful i have hugo here at work who was willing and able to help me work through some problems. i’m amazed i got it working and handed it in on time. just amazed.) and school nights i’m always up too late (even when i finish all my labs and get to leave fifteen minutes early like i did last night for the first time this term) so getting out of bed this morning was not fun.
thankfully i have flip-n-go hair!
speaking of, i think i’m going to get a bit more cut off this weekend. i don’t like the length at the back and i’d like shorter layers on the sides. yes, i know, who is this short-hair-having demon possessing heather of the luxurious long locks? i have no idea, but i’m having fun while it lasts. maybe, now that my hair isn’t three feet long, i’ll get around to dying it bloo.
can i talk about even more mundane subjects? homework, sleep, haircuts. wow, this really is turning into a haircut blog. my favourite jeremy was talking the other day about there being people out there who have no business with a blog. they don’t have anything interesting to say or contribute in any meaningful manner. i’ve been feeling that way about my site lately, especially the days i don’t have a photo to post. i used to be more prolific, more engaging, more fun, more “hey, isn’t this weird?”
i think i’m feeling penned-in by my decision to post photos every day. it’s like it goes against the flow of the site to have small, frequent posts of my random thoughts and such. the fantabulous jodi chromey was recently talking about something vaguely related and mentioned implementing a “small blog” like alison has. that might be the solution for me, but i don’t think i have the energy, or inclination, to both implement and utilize something like that. then i’d have to write two things every day, and pete knows i have enough trouble just trying to think of one thing most days.
that’s when a small part of me wants to give up. stop posting. call it quits.
hell, three and a half years is a pretty good lifespan for a low-traffic weblog. i’ve even been linked by heather champ! that in itself is an web-fame accomplishment. i’ve met dozens of interesting, intelligent, engaging, creative, intimidating yet welcoming people via my little corner of the internet. i’ve learned about html, css, javascript, php, greymatter, moveable type, photoshop, paintshop pro, cuteftp, the importance of backups, and that good webhosting companies are hard to find.
and just when it all becomes too much and i’m ready to throw in the towel, i realize that i love this site. fubsy.net has become a part of my personality. if i didn’t have somewhere to post my photos, i don’t know if i’d make as many as i do. if i didn’t have a place to vent my stupid thoughts, i’d probably be more of a nightmare then i already am. yes, sometimes i get frustrated that i’m not a great weaver words. i can’t turn my trip to the grocery store into some humourous treatise on the dangers of final net and the forty-something woman like dooce and i’ll never be as great a photographer as julie. no one will every pay me for prints of my pixels, but that’s okay. i didn’t start this to win any popularity contests, get a book deal or be famous. it was new and i was curious and i think i just have to get back to that feeling of “hey, this is fun! let’s see what else i can do…”