always being the biggest one in the group meant that i couldn’t ever shop where my friends did. nothing ever fit me in the places we’d go and i wouldn’t dare suggest we go to the one store/section which had things i could try on. the only thing i could buy when out with others was shoes. so i did. i bought a lot of shoes.
now, thankfully, i have friends who i can actually shop with. it’s a still a novel experience and so much girly fun to be able to throw things over the changing room walls to share the awesome and/or hilarity with. even though i’m still bigger than everyone else, sometimes i can try on the same things and it is good.
but, shoes. my one solace. shoes are now off the table. the last few years have utterly ruined me for shoes. what with my hobbit-wide feet and non-existent arches and orthotic inserts and plantar fasciitis and, most recently, stress fractures, finding shoes which 1) fit; and, b) don’t hurt in some way is almost impossible. unless, of course, i don’t care how fucking ugly and or expensive they are.
i didn’t realize just how much i relied on my ability to find shoes when i couldn’t find anything else to help me feel normal. now that that is gone… it’s just kind of makes me sad.