so, i didn’t mean to, but i accidentally decided not to tweet for a week to see if anyone would notice the absence of my 140-character-at-a-time addition to the interwebs.
no one did.
wait, that’s not entirely true. my mother noticed. after the third day, she sent me a text asking where my tweets were.
thanks, mom. i knew you loved me best!
this is good information to have, i suppose. i should be leaving a week’s worth of food and water out for the kittens because that seems to be the minimum amount of time they’d be without anyone coming to check for my body if i happened to suddenly expire. of course, they could just eat me, but i like to believe they love me too much to desecrate my corpse after only five days.
yes, you could call me an optimist!
but, because i didn’t want you to go entirely without my tweetitude, here are the tweets i would have tweeted if i’d been tweeting this week:
- sick day. blergh.
- happy (belated) birthday, @kickpleat!
- suddenly obsessed with getting an iMac. too bad i have no money and all future monies i may receive are spoken for.
- wash hands. apply lotion. wash hands. apply lotion. wash hands. apply lotion.
- i’m getting tired of waking up an hour after i’ve gone to bed. wide awake. THIS IS NOT NAP TIME, DAMMIT!
- red licorice and tomato soup do not make for a nutritious dinner.
- how long should i wait for a charge to appear on my credit card before i can safely assume i got my parking for free?
- it’s taken almost eleven months, but i think my belly button is finally back to not being all weird from surgery.
- i really wish it wasn’t such a big deal. #obamalovesthegays
- at $50/mo., it would take me 6 years 4 months to buy all the tech i want today.
- of course the first person to notice i hadn’t tweeted in three days would be my mother. you didn’t notice, did you?
- ow. owowowowow.
- mewling quim! i love you joss whedon.
- i feel like getting shwarma now.
- i’m going to pay for this in the morning, but that was really, really worth it. really.
- happy fifth tweeting anniversary to me! (how ironic is it that i’m not tweeting on it.)
- @rose_and_amy need to stop being so adorable in the mornings. it makes it too heart-wrenching to get out of bed.
- if Ian Somerhalder plays Christian Grey in the movie, i might just die from the sexy. (yes, i’m reading FSofG. shut up, you read Twilight!)
I noticed but I didn’t want to bother you. I’m maybe the worst kind of friend in that regard.
I’ve been off Twitter for almost a month. No one has noticed. I haven’t even noticed. I guess that information stream has become too polluted for me.