no nookie hereabouts

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i’m living vicariously through everyone else’s sex life. i really have no choice, seeing as i’ll probably never have sex again… *sigh*

Posted in: words

13 Thoughts on “no nookie hereabouts”

  1. andy! on October 10, 2001 at 23:27 said:

    what happend to that guy who propositioned you for sex — isn’t he still around?

  2. Himself on October 11, 2001 at 07:52 said:

    Fret not, hon. Love (and sex) come to those who look for it least. I know it sounds funky, but that’s what happened to me.

  3. andy! on October 11, 2001 at 08:55 said:

    i’d like a quarter pounder value meal. super-size the wild passionate monkey sex please. :)

  4. Edge on October 11, 2001 at 11:30 said:

    I agree with “Himself.” Problem is, I’ve not been looking for it for a year or so, and I am starting to wonder at which point I am supposed to get out of the house and do things; for some reason, sex-craved vixens just don’t knock on my door like they used to… =(

  5. Himself on October 11, 2001 at 13:20 said:

    Takes two years minimum. I don’t know if it’s the cosmic thing or the zen thing or what, but it took 2 years.
    I’ll send the sex-crazed vixens your way just as soon as I’m done with them. ;)

  6. heather on October 11, 2001 at 14:19 said:

    oh my god… you’re right! *sigh* that means i’ll be thirty-one before i have sex again!
    i’m going to go kill myself now.

  7. Edge on October 11, 2001 at 15:46 said:

    Tell you what; drop on by, and we can chose between the suicide thing, or just getting rid of the reason for killing ourselves…
    *nudge nudge, wink wink* know what I mean?
    Then again, after coming by, you may decide the suicide thing is a better idea…
    =(

  8. andy! on October 11, 2001 at 16:05 said:

    interesting seduction strategy…
    IMHO, i don’t think it’s a good idea to warn her that she’ll regret it or kill herself afterwards. it kinda kills the mood…

  9. Edge on October 11, 2001 at 20:34 said:

    See… that’s probably the problem with my seduction technique. Andy; how ’bout I fly you down here so that you can help me fine tune my act? Perhaps then I can end the “drought…”
    Or am I supposed to ask a girl to help me out of this negative self-fulfilling prophesy of a strategy?

  10. heather on October 11, 2001 at 20:55 said:

    *lol*

  11. (the shorter)Heather on October 11, 2001 at 21:23 said:

    Wow, there’s a flashback. In my angst-ridden days, I hung out on a suicide related newsgroup – fun bunch of people, let me tell you. ;) One guy emailed me after I’d said something about how much I’d like to have someone around to hold me while I died (at least I can laugh at myself now!), asking me to join him in suffocating ourselves to death while having sex inside a plastic bag.
    Now THAT has to be the worst pick up line ever.
    The kicker was he swore he’d tried with a woman before who found out she got off so much on oxygen deprived sex, she had something to live for.

  12. Edge on October 11, 2001 at 23:33 said:

    I remember the first time I heard of auto-erotic asphyxiation in a crime scene class I had to attend as a Military Policeman… I thought, “Why the hell would anyone try this with the risk of dieing with their ‘dangly bits’ in their hand?” The thought of that alone would kill the mood for me! Of all the ways to be found dead, sitting in front of some sex material with my pants at my ankles holding Edge Jr is NOT the way to go out!
    Umm… did I just share this, too? DAMN!

  13. iain on October 15, 2001 at 08:45 said:

    bloo!

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