not quite nanoblomo

so… i went to London & Paris last month. it was awesome. i might blog about it, but Kimli already did in such detail and with typical panache, that i kind of feel like there’s not much more i could add. it’s been three weeks since i returned home and i haven’t done a damn thing with the 1,500 photos i took, either. i just… ugh.

in some ways, i don’t want to talk or write or post anything about it. i find myself savouring moments and experiences by turning them around and over inside my brain, like slowly sucking on a really good candy, trying to more firmly implant the memories so i won’t lose any of the delicious details. it was everything i could have hoped the experience could be. it was just too short and i would love nothing more than to go back. right now. for a year.

but, the three weeks since i’ve been home? suck. i got sick in Europe and kept that up for a good week and a half after i got home. then, just as i thought i was better, i got hit again. on top of some seriously debilitating muscle spasms in my back & neck laying me up and making me whimper, cramps from hell, a mystery foot injury and, the biggest culprit of my autumn misery: all the dark. i’ve been hiding from everything except work and cats. i’ve bailed on at least two fun times because i just can’t bother, it’s so dark, it’s cold, i spent all my money in England, i’m sleepy, i’m sore, etc. so, i’ve been staying home and getting rid of stuff. i’ve been wanting to do a huge purge for a long while now, so at least my hermitage is paying off that way.

otherwise, yeah. i fucking hate this time of year. stuck inside during the only daylight; coming & going in the dark. even with all the lights on full, by 6pm i feel like i should be in bed (and i’m surprised if i’m still awake after 9). this happens every year and in another couple weeks i should be acclimated, but until then? UGH.

i’m thinking that i’m going to eschew gifts this christmas season. i don’t want stuff and, well, i’m broke. i might bake, though. i’ve done so twice in the last week (which is 500% more than in the last two years) and it didn’t suck (and kittens didn’t care enough to get in the way, which is a bonus). we’ll see. i might change my mind if i find something i want someone to buy me. heh.

so, in conclusion, i miss you, i really do. you’re just going to have to come over and hang out with me in my dark, empty apartment while i wear pajama pants and wonder why you like me. okay?