- The nice men are ugly.
- The handsome men are not nice.
- The handsome and nice men are gay.
- The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
- The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
- The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
- The handsome men without money are after our money.
- The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.
- The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
- The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and never make the first move.
- The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative
that can be the only reason why tony from vision2hire spent most of his presentation presenting to me, the lowliest of the triumvirate in attendnace at his product demo.
you thought i forgot, didn’t you? well, HAH! i didn’t! don’t you go doubting me again, you hear me? me and my thursday morning mpeg’ll kick your lilly-livered patoot from here to the rio grande! ahem.
“Stay” by Lisa Loeb
she’s cute and wears dark-rimmed glasses. isn’t it obvious why i picked this song?
aren’t all my coffee-flavoured work application icons adorable? yes. i thought so, as well. that is why i am sharing them. =)
every time i take a semi-deep breath, my middle back hurts. i think i’m dying.
i need to phone jim the mechanic and see if he can quote me prices to either rebuild or replace my car’s engine (i almost said “my engine” but thought better of it. although, considering the previous paragraph, maybe my engine needs replacing too). there are lots of leaks and it make scary rattle-y noises and it smells burny. every time i stop at a light, i watch the edges of the hood for smoke.
it’s either get into two-thousand dollars more debt just to keep the car in safe operating shape or get into twenty-thousand dollars more debt to buy a new car. if i was absolutely sure i could make the payments, i’d do the latter. i suppose it depends on just how much it would cost to get it fixed up. at this point, any money i put into it is a diminishing return. the car will be ten years old in april. it’s a 3-cylinder geo. i don’t think it was meant to make it into its teen years.
why does it always come back to money? maybe i’ll have to apply for that scheduling job i don’t really want. i have to decide by tomorrow, whatever i do.
it was good. beautiful. i laughed. i cried. i yelped. but, above all else, i really, really wished i hadn’t listened to the bbc radio version first. yes, it helped me keep all the characters straight. yes, it helped me keep the lay of middle earth clear in my mind. yes, it pretty much ruined all suspense because i knew exactly what was coming and where the story was going to go.
oh well. at least i’ve seen it now.
and i’ll be quoting elrond in classic agent smith enunciation.
he’s here! anthony is across the hall testing as i type this. he swooped in, looking adorable and smelling nice, to ask me if he could put me down as a personal reference. obviously i said yes. i’ll tell them anything to be able to see him every day for six more weeks.
i’m so pathetic… i’m glad i put mascara on this morning, though!
heather!
for some reason everything looks italicized to me today. weird.
so, there’s this commercial on tv for the big boxing week blowout sale at the brick, one of those appliance/home furnishing/electronics stores. you know, one of those “90 days same as cash! don’t pay for three years!” kinds of places.
anyway, they have this ad which has been running for what seems like months. the booming, monster-truck voice is telling you how great their deals are and that you should rush right in before it ends. all the while they show the throngs of people trying to weave their way through all the beds, couches, washing machines, entertainment units and dining sets. there’s not even enough room for them all. they’re hurrying from one department to another and cutting each other off at the odd intersection of ottomans.
i think they’ve backfired with this ad. mostly because there’s no bloody way in hell i’m going to go anywhere near any store with that many people in it. no one i know would willing subject themselves to that. it’s like trying to go to ikea on the weekend. it’s only something you do if you’re paying penance for kicking a puppy or something in a past life. every time i see it on tv i cringe.
okay, i wimped out. all i could think was “i’m not going to get home until TWO.” goodnight.
i think i’m going to have a nap when i get home tonight and then go to the 10:30 showing of lord of the rings. hopefully, it will be late enough that the throngs of cheap-tuesday movie goers will all be on their way home to a peaceful, work-night slumber instead of wanting to stay up until 2am to see a movie.
maybe i should phone dean and ask him if he wants to join me. just to be polite, you understand. there’s very little chance he’ll say yes.
tyler phoned last night and kept me up ’til one. well, he didn’t really keep me awake. i was in this weird, hypnotic state. time both stood still and slipped away. it was good. anything with tyler is good. especially when he’s wearing the boxers i sent him for xmas.
assman: am I thinking about this too much? ;) Perhaps. I don’t mind.
hessie: *laugh*
hessie: you don’t need me now. ;)
assman: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I need someone to call me demeaning names and use me imperiously for her pleasure and her whims.
assman: I think you’re qualified. :)
hessie: *whistles “they call the wind mariah”*
assman: LOL. Oh dear. You do have a cruel streak in you.
hessie: you’ve just noticed? ;)
assman: “Please, Mistress Heather, I’ll do anything if you make it stop.”
assman: Would I have you at the top of my “people I want to abuse me like a disheveled fuck toy and slave” if I’d thought otherwise?
hessie: aww! that’s the nicest thing i’ve heard all day!
assman: Well, I think you’d be good at it. And you’d inspire me with your demeanor to new heights of humiliation and self-debasement for your pleasure, I”m sure.
hessie: that’s one way to put it. ;)
every once in a while i really like to look at pictures of wedding dresses — just for kicks. they’re pretty and the women who model them always look so good. until now. egads! i didn’t know how much the wrong model could ruin a beautiful gown.
someone feed that damn woman! *shudder*
my entire concept of post-work time is skewed because i stayed two hours late to try to put a dent in the shitload of stuff i have to do. it’s 8:15 and it feels like it should be 6:15. i’ll just have to remind myself that those two hours worked will equal four hours off work at some future date. i love banking my overtime.
you know, i’m seriously in lust with the new imac. it’s just so durn cute! doesn’t it totally remind you of the pixar lamp?
the next time i win the lottery, i’m going to get myself one. no, really!
you know what sucks? spending 14 hours downloading something to then find out that your cpu is 50 mhz shy of meeting the minimum system requirements to run it. bleh.
no matter how many times i see them, i can’t get enough of contact or gattaca (1997 was a good year for movies, i guess).
last night, my trouble laid in the fact they were both on at the same time on different channels. so i flipped. for two hours i flipped back and forth. luckily, i’d seen them both several times before so i knew when i could afford to miss a larger portion of one to ensure i didn’t miss a good part of the other.
the other movie i watched yesterday (only because it was on and i was doing nothing) was dirty dancing. again, this is a movie i’ve seen dozens of times, but i still find myself watching it whenever it’s available to me.
i had such a thing for patrick swayze in high school. it started with north & south (which is playing on the history channel right now and i’m reminding myself to find out when it is so i can tape it). both amy & i had pictures of him in our german binders and we’d sit in the back of class and talk about him for an hour every day. it’s that whole reserved, tense, barely-contained-animal-energy he exudes, i suppose.
i did manage to do my laundry yesterday, and cook a small pot of vegetable soup (which i ate in its entirety). other than that, all i did was watch movies on tv and download black & white. i was thinking i need a game which is like crack. i don’t spend enough time neglecting my household chores, hobbies or friends. i’m such a dork.
today went very quickly, but at least i managed to accomplish a couple of things before my friends absconded with me for wings, beer, pizza & cards.
things i accomplished:
– requisite coffee consumption
– 2 cds burned for marie
– blank cds purchased
– 128mb ram purchased
– garbage bags, zero & paper towels purchased
hrm. maybe i didn’t accomplish that much afterall… except spending money, that is. oh well, at least i got beer.
my big excitement so far today was receiving a reply to the email i sent to one of the morning dj’s i listen to. yay!
in other news, there’s very little news. i played around with my microphone last night recording “you have mail” type vocals as requested by edge. i realized i’d sounded like crap not because of a faulty mic or a dying sound card, but because i was recording at substandard frequencies. i was mighty surprised to discover i actually sound good when properly recorded. i told tyler that on the phone last night and he just “duh-ed” (or his equivalent) at me. now if only could sing…
i made more spring rolls last night. i have to stop that or i’m going to look like one. my shoulders are sore from lifting yesterday. my back is sore, but i don’t know why. it hasn’t been right since i got back from mom’s. i swear her furniture hates me and i always come back with a touch of sciatica. when i’m rich i’m going to buy her a proper couch. thank god i have a good chair at work which minimizes the discomfort.
it’s friday which means dinner and cards with the friends. i wonder if it will be pizza or chinese food tonight. hopefully neither because i really want pasta. the last time i wanted pasta, i was delightfully surprised to discover that mark had made his meatball sauce the night before. i don’t think i’ll be so lucky this time. since they got the playstation2, there hasn’t been a lot of time for domesticity. mmm, maybe i’ll be able to talk dean into opening his copy of gran turismo 3 and letting me play. he wouldn’t on new year’s, the bastard.
okay, that’s enough rambling. i have a shitload of work to do and i’ve already wasted two hours.
oh! they’re calling anthony in to test for an attendant position. this, of course, means that i’ll get to see him at least once more. yay me!