there’s nothing better than coming home from a shopping trip with a bag full of pretty underthings. i’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon in my apartment modelling them for myself.

it was the weirdest sensation. i didn’t think i’d ever get used to it; but, by the end, i didn’t mind. i even felt a little cocky. almost as if i’d invited them myself. i know it won’t happen again, but i think everyone, at least once, should shower while two men are on a scaffold outside your bathroom window.
no, not really.

wow. once again i’m rendered dumbstruck by the generosity and kindness of people.
after a rather nasty, and painful (damn wrists), day and a half at work, i thought i couldn’t get any happier with the knowledge that i don’t have to go back to the office until wednesday. when i arrived home there were two packages awaiting me. a small envelope in my mailbox packed with love and goodies from the lovely miss jena and another package against my door containing my very own copy of still life with woodpecker sent to me without provocation from mkh himself.
besides the amazing stuff, both these packages contained tidings which really touched me. thank you both! you can’t know how much your gestures are appreciated.

i don’t have to work tomorrow!
i don’t have to work tomorrow!
i don’t have to work tomorrow!

friday was a twenty-two hour day. i’m unspeakably glad that i slept for twelve hours tuesday night. it must have been precognitive weariness. i knew i’d be lacking sleep for the rest of the week, so i was stocking up.
i should be at work right now, but i didn’t wake up until one this afternoon. shuddup, i didn’t get to sleep until 4:30am. i thought about going into the office from four until whenever the work was finished, but decided to make today a me day. that means: my laundry, my dishes, my tidying, my vacuuming, my shopping. as i don’t have plans for tonight, i’ll endeavour to get to bed early and get my crap done at work first thing sunday morning. ha! who am i kidding?!
i’m restless. lots of thoughts and feelings are rumbling around inside my head lately. i’m proud of myself, though. i’m being as brave as i’ve ever been. i’m being honest, even when it’s difficult. it’s all very, very odd in how simply complicated it all is. i’m trying not to overanalyse it. i’m happy.
oh, and i’m going to buy a new phone today. i don’t want to have to learn to talk pilot.

i’m having the single worst hair day on the face of the planet. it’s practically impossible that anyone could have be having a worse hair than me today. it’s nice and soft, but it’s damn unruly. of course, this doesn’t matter much in the big scheme of things, but it’s the trivialities of my life which keep my loyal readers coming back for more. right?
i returned a phone call the other day:
me: you rang?
him: yes, i did.
me: what can i do you for?
him: i don’t need you anymore.
me: gee, thanks.
him: i needed to know how to spell “minutia”; but i looked it up online.
me: minutia… m-i-n-u-t-i-a.
him: did you do that off the top of your head?
me: yeah. this isn’t for work, is it?
him: oh. no! something else.
me: so, why would you phone me for this?
him: i don’t know, you just seemed like a speller. that’s right, by the way.
me: of course it is.

oh no. my boss just left for the day. i’m going to get less done than the little i was doing before. this is bad. very bad.
i’m completely useless today. i just want to bounce around and smile and chat and laugh and be happy! i’m actually making myself a little queasy with it all. i’ve got his stupid half-grin stuck on my face and even when i’m sitting still my inner self is skippng around a field of waist-high daisies.
i’m such a moron.

oh dammit all to hell! i was halfway through my redesign and it was all starting to fall into place rather nicely. i was starting to get excited and hoping that i’d be able to get it up and tweaked by the weekend. then i start doing the rounds of the blogs on my link list. that’s when i realized… i’d nearly copied paige’s colours verbatim. *sigh* back to the drawing board.

i realized this morning that the talking-on-the-phone-for-six-and-a-half-hours glow is identical to the spent-all-night-kissing glow. right down to the bright red lips. *sigh*

i received this email last night:
A keen follower of your website has recently nominated it to be reviewed as a Phome Top 100 Personal Website. Our company www.Phome.com is focused on finding the best personal websites from around the world and profiling them to our global customers and visitors.
Our reviewing team will review your site over the next month. We will send you an email to let you know if you made it onto the Top 100 list.
Check out what you are up against! View our current Top 100 personal website picks now by clicking this link http://www.phome.com/personal/default.htm.
If you know of any other great personal websites please feel free to add your nominations on the Phome.com site. Our search for the world’s best personal websites continues!

my first thought: yay! i’ve finally been nominated for something!
my second thought: who the hell would have nominated me for something!
my third thought (on viewing the site): i’ll never make the top 100.
my fourth thought: it was an honour just being nominated.

went to bed at six. woke up at 5:30. neck still hurts. still slightly depressed. may cancel dentist appointment for this afternoon. can’t lie with my head back like that for an hour. haven’t smoked in 36 hours. down to two cups of coffee in the morning. scared. cold. i love my magic bag. i’m only warm where it touches my skin.
rude. i’m very rude. someone was hoping to talk to me last night and i was asleep. then it happened two more times. i’m a bad, selfish person. i think i’ll go back to sleep.

it’s raining, no walk for me. my neck hurts, must have slept funny. got a fluttery tummy. i want a hug.