so, i’m pretty much in love with bill, the vancouverite who was on last night’s episode of blind date. he looks okay and seems genuinely charming, but i didn’t really think he was hot until i heard him on the radio this morning. holy fucking crap. that man has a voice i want to dive into and drown in. *drip*

i dreamt i won the lottery last night. i split $500,000 with four or five other people. i remember the numbers exactly, but i know they can’t be right ’cause you can’t have 60 in the 6/49. i better buy a ticket, just in case. i mean, it is almost exactly a year since the last time i won.

i just realized i’ve been walking around all day with my bra half-undone.

i’m still sick, but i sound much worse than i feel so i’m getting lots of co-worker sympathy. it’s been a busy weekend, but i don’t want to talk about it. i’m seriously reconsidering the wisdom of having registered for another saturday class next term. i’m not a very good people photographer, but the wedding pictures have been well-received nonetheless. if you want to see them (not that you would want to), let me know and i’ll point you in their direction. i pigged out on orange juice and potato chips yesterday. how sad is that? too much work to do. i’ll try and be coherent later.

she didn’t freak out and drop dead bunnies onto my balcony. instead she left a very pleasant and apologetic note (and actually commisserated because it seems the woman beside her upstairs is annoying with her music!). now i’m kicking myself i didn’t do that sooner. i might have saved myself three years of torture.
p.s. the totally juicy grapefruit peel-off masque fucking burns when applied to freshly exfoliated skin.

oh yeah… this is such a low-tolerance day. i actually found myself looking for a fight earlier, just to have the opportunity to rip someone a new asshole. *sigh* i think i need medicinal ice cream.

last night, i finally got fed up enough with the annoying upstairs neighbour to write her a note (as jeremy pointed out, i should have gone and banged on her door and told her to turn the fucking music down. what he didn’t realize is that it took me three years to get enough nerve to write this damn thing):
this is heather below you in #103. i really hate to be a whiner, but i’d appreciate it if you could keep your music (and conversation) quieter after 10pm on weeknights. i’ve noticed that your bass comes right through my ceiling (are your speakers on the floor?). last night was terrifically annoying as, in addition to having to get up at 5:30am, i’ve been sick and have tried to get to bed early. i hope that if you have any similar noise-related issues with me, we can work them out.
on my way out this morning, i tip-toed upstairs and slipped it under her door. i’m afraid now she’ll get all vindictive and do something evil in retribution. i know i would if i got such a note. well, not really, but i’d think about it.
in other news, i’m sick and miserable (i blame the miserable on being kept up by HER until late). i wish this freaking cold would go away! okay, i’m going to quit whining. it’s not productive. this is one of darlene’s kitties, cassie.

karl saved me last night by helping with my javascript homework. have i mentioned how much i fucking hate javascript? okay, maybe i won’t once i figure things out, but for the most part, we have all these problems to figure out but, once again, jason hasn’t given us the tools to do so. i can’t wait until i fill out the teacher evaluation at the end of the term.
okay, back to work. *whipcrack*

this picture sums up how i feel today. i’m still sick, but have finally succumbed to using drugs to mask my symptoms so i’m not wallowing in misery and mucus all day long. the side effects are mildly unpleasant in their own right, though. oh well, better to feel loopy and slightly pukey than to be wishing i were dead, right?
lots of work to do and i’m suffering serious après déjeuner sloth. too much chinese food, i suppose. damn msg. and i still have a bunch of homework to do tonight. at least i did my laundry last night and there aren’t a lot of dishes to wash when i get home to distract me.
i’m starting to get anxious about my blood test results. it’s been a week. they said a week. why haven’t they called yet?

sometimes i seriously worry about my priorities when it comes to money.
case in point, i was just telling jeremy about my new executive parking spot right by the front door and how my name will be on it just as soon as it arrives from the signmakers they order it from. he asked me how i got this new, primo space and i told him how i bought it in the united way auction we have every year as part of our company’s fundraising campaign. i also mentioned how i’ve been vying for the coveted parking space for the last four years. this year i managed to scoop the incumbent by bidding at the last possible second. scoop!
jeremy asked how much i paid for it. $127. as soon as i admitted that, i suddenly felt really stupid. one hundred and twenty-seven dollars for a parking space. why would i think that’s a good use for my money when i’ve been putting off buying new sneakers for a year because i couldn’t bring myself to pay almost that exact same amount? why do i put off things like a new mattress for the futon because it just seems to cost too much, but i’ll spent $700 on a luxury item like my camera or $200 on a new computer to give to my mom for her birthday? no wonder i’m poor.
now comes the justification phase of my most recent outlay… it’s only $2.59 per week. i can save a toonie every week and at the end of the year, i’ll have all it paid off! it’s a charitable deduction! i’ll get a portion back on my taxes this year! my knee is gimpy. now i won’t have to walk so far from my car in the morning, worrying that i’ll misstep and wreck it further.
yes, heather… i know i could have used that money to go to worcester. you don’t have to rub it in.

why is it that i can function during the day, but as soon as i lie down to go to sleep all my cold symptoms multiply by a factor of ten?
i guess today wouldn’t be a good time to try to cut back on my caffeine intake, would it?

seems all that homework stress of a couple weeks ago paid off. i just got this email from my t.a.:
Heather,
I’m about half way through grading the assignment 2’s. I’m writing to let you know I really enjoyed seeing your assignment. The layout was the best in the class and it was completely professional. You earned 100% which is the highest grade for the class. Based on what I have seen so far, I don’t think anyone else will match it.
This is excellent and I was pleasantly surprised.
Pat
PS I may (or may not) be giving bonus points to people in the class who did the email regex portion…I’m currently deciding how to award points for that. If I do give bonus points, you will get them for sure. You met all of the requirements. Well done! :)

for remembrance day, i’ve slept. a lot. i ate some protein, then i slept. i ate some fruit, then i slept. i ate some pumpkin loaf and read a while, then i slept. now i’m going to put things in a container for lunch tomorrow, eat some soup, then i’ll sleep some more. i’m feeling better for all the rest, so it must be what i need.
there was an ad for an affordable, hardwood one bedroom in yesterday’s paper. again, i’m too chicken to phone. why the fuck am i so unwilling to uproot? it’s not the money, i can always pay off a little more debt. i think the concept of moving gets more and more HUGE the longer i’m here, the more settled i am. plus, i worked really hard to get to a point where i’m comfortable here again… i just need a new futon mattress and everything will be hunky-dory. or so i keep telling myself.

i was the last person on the ferry last night. i probably would have been the second-to-last if i hadn’t been limping down the walkway.
there’s not really a lot to say about my weekend on the island. it feels like i spent a lot time in the back seat of my mother’s car. i saw my first drag show. i had my first toke in at least two years. i wore what i thought was a flattering and slightly daring new shirt which actually just made me look fatter than normal. i played a couple games of pool and flirted with a college boy who reminded me a lot of joe. i went to bed very early after somehow aggravating my six year-old knee injury. i made a lot of omelettes and caught someone’s cold. now i’m home, bailing on a movie date, eating a fried egg & bacon sandwich, trying not to feel too sorry for myself and procrastinating getting started on my homework.
i did talk to someone new on the telephone, though. i was all nervous as i dialed their number, but was quickly put at ease. it’s easy to feel more secure when you’re not the one who was just woken up. oops!
did you miss me?

the problem with going out with a bunch of women to a drag show is the chances of my finding a cute boy to make out with are probably as good as my winning the lottery. i guess i won’t worry too much about what i wear to fat tuesday’s tomorrow night, then. i’m fairly confident the gay guys won’t be looking and for all i talk about dating girls, i know i’d be too bloody picky. ahh, double-standards, how i love thee.
gah, stop distracting me! i have laundry to finish, homework to start and a victoria-bound bag to pack. avast ye, mateys! i be sailing the strait in the wee hours tamarrah. but first, i get to have breakfast with my daddy. yay, me! i’m the luckiest hessie in the world, i am.

i don’t like javascript. i don’t like php edit. i don’t like my hair today. i don’t like that the day is starting off slowly. i don’t like that three times i’ve gone to talk to someone about some work i’m doing for them and they’ve been unavailable. i don’t like that i have to do laundry tonight. i don’t like that i’m broke. i don’t like cream of mushroom soup. i don’t like wanting to talk to him. i don’t like waiting. i don’t like my mattress. i don’t like having so much homework.

i like sleep. i like my friends. i like fast food nation. i like php. i like eminem. i like popcorn. i like cats. i like stars. i like wind. i like kissing! i like the internet. i like the smell of a boy on my pillow while i fall asleep. i like taking pictures. i like laughing. i like wearing glasses. i like having toys around my desk. i like being a the weirdo (sometimes). i like satin and fleece. i like beer and pizza. i like hockey. i like driving. i like flying! i like you.

busybusy… lots of crappy work to get finished before i take off for the island friday morning. add to that a doctor’s appointment monday, a lab appointment this morning and a dentist appointment tomorrow, the hours i have left to complete all this crap are dwindling. oh yeah, and i don’t want to do any of it now that i have a happy-full belly after lunch at the thai place.
i was thinking this morning (while sitting in traffic on the cut because i left later than my normal 6:45 due to the aforementioned lab appointment) about all the skills i have which i don’t actually consider skills. there are a lot of things i do every day which many people can’t do and i take them all for granted. here’s my list:

1. drive a car.
2. touch-type.
3. read.
4. write.
5. cook/bake.
6. use/build/understand a computer.
7. find the north star.
8. braid.
9. iron/laundry.
10. program a vcr.
11. crochet.
12. say “hello” and “yes/no” in five or six languages.
13. write html.
14. use a card catalogue.
15. sew simple patterns.
16. paint walls/objects.
17. change the sparkplugs and oil & filter in my car.
18. dial a phone in the dark.
19. get up, showered, dressed and make peanut butter toast all with my eyes closed.
20. ride a bicycle (although it’s been a long while).
21. sign the alphabet excluding f and p thru t.

okay, so it got a little eclectic at the end. but still, sometimes it’s a good idea to take a little inventory of your abilities so you don’t get complacent.
what are your skills?

vampires! i have to see the vampires!! gah. i hate needles.
it’s turning out to be a semi-busy week. appointments galore and a big birthday bash in victoria friday night. trying to fit in all my work and homework and appointments and a wee bit of socializing… i’m exhausted just thinking about it.
does anybody care if i don’t post every day? i didn’t think so.
fuji technical support wants me to send them sample images before i ship them my baby. okay, i can do that. but you can be sure they’re getting the worst of the bunch. not a good one like this.

i’m attached to my baby, but i’m positive something’s failing for it to not produce well in medium to low light any more. plus, there’s scary clicking when it metres from light to dark (paul, does yours do that?).
anyway, i’m headachy and stressed. things got really complicated over the weekend and i’m not sure what i want to do about it. boys really are yucky, confusing, irritating beasts. maybe it’s time i tried dating girls.

last night i dreamt of kissing. kissing a dark-haired boy who reminded me of, alternately, xander from buffy and meghan’s shiny new husband. who it was i was doing the smooching with wasn’t as important as the fact that i was smooching. it reminded me that it’s been an awful long time since i’ve done any lip-locking. i’m good at kissing, you know. it’s a damn shame i haven’t had the opportunity to share my gift with more of the world.
so, yeah. i dreamt that i was kissing a dark-haired boy last night… and it was good.

it’s a not-so-happy day in hessieland. despite actually completing the assignment from hell on time and with full functionality; depsite having a great evening with friends playing cards, eating pizza and laughing until i couldn’t breathe; despite it being a gorgeous crisp fall day outside, i’m feeling very bloo.
you see, my baby is broken.
she’s not been feeling well for a few weeks now, but i thought maybe it was allergies or somesuch. i fervently hoped she would recover without any traumatizing intervention, but alas, this was not to be the case. so, i’ve gathered up her favourite travelling outfit and arranged transportation to the specialists. she’s putting on a brave face, but i know she’s just as nervous about doing this all on her own as i am. we don’t even know how long she’ll be away yet. i hope i can sleep without her here.
i hope you all enjoy what could be my baby’s last creation. please send her good wishes and lots of healing vibes.

don’t hate me, but if they can’t fix her, i really hope they replace her with a 3800 instead.

so, like, i’m taking this class and it’s, like, teaching me php, y’know? but, like, i didn’t see my teacher for, like, two weeks and he, like, has shitty classtime management skills and, like, all his notes are poorly organized and, like, full of errors. and, because he didn’t teach us half the stuff we needed for our assignment,like, until last class, y’know, i’ve spent, like, every evening this week trying to, like, get this done and, like, it’s fucking hard, y’know? my eyes are buggy and, like, all i can think about is php, y’know? then, starting, like, tomorrow he’s totally abandoning php and going to start teaching us, like, javascript. just when i start to really get, like, a handle on php, y’know? oh. my. god! someone gag me with a crowbar, okay?