my feet hurt. i’m hungry & feeling a little dizzy. i’ve typed so much stuff today that i’m left with bloody stumps in place of hands. i’m so going to have a nap when i get home.

i thought it would be a lovely night for an after-supper walk…
“where will i walk to?” i asked myself.
“you could walk to the park,” my self answered.
“it may be up hill, but it’s really just a block away. i want to go somewhere i can take a few pictures and be out for a while.”
“you could drive to the seawall.”
“yeah, but then i’ll be too tempted to just drive there, get disillusioned with the idea of a walk, and then drive home.”
“yeah, you are lazy like that.”
“hey!”
“well… you are. so, what about down lonsdale?”
“gah! there are people there!”
“there are people everywhere, dork.”
“hrmf. so? doesn’t mean i want them to see me waddling around.”
“why not? you can check out all the shops you don’t know exist.”
“i guess…”
“you could walk down to dad’s place! stop in all casual-like and maybe he’ll give you a ride home!”
“ooh, good thinking! how far is that?”
“um… 20 blocks.”
“20 blocks!”
“all downhill, doofus.”
“well, okay. fine. down lonsdale it is.”
i got to dad’s house and he wasn’t there, so i sat in the park across the street and took a couple pictures. somehow, i convinced myself that i wasn’t ready to go home yet, so i kept walking. i stopped in victoria park and watched a cute, blond guy try to train his dog to no avail. he might not have thought i was cute, but his dog sure did. i’m fairly sure that’s not a good thing, though.
while sitting on the park bench taking stealthy photos of old people sitting at the cenotaph, i realized my feet were getting sore. i wasn’t wearing my good walking shoes and these were rubbing something awful; but i was so very close to the bottom! eight blocks to go! i was almost there! like a trooper, off i went. by the time i got down to the quay at the bottom every step was making the three blisters i could identify by feel squish and almost squeak. luckily i didn’t have to wait long for my bus to take off (after a friendly “hello, sister operator” from the bus driver).
35 blocks and 3.63 4 kilometres (2.25 2.5 miles) later, i’m home with my feet on ice packs because i don’t have anything big enough to soak them in. other than some sore tootsies, i feel great. it’s a beautiful evening and i actually got out there to enjoy it. now, i’ll watch some bad tv and wait for the fireworks… if i can stay up that late.

holy shit. someone please remember to remind me not to eat cheese before i go to bed. i can’t even begin to describe the whacked-out dreams i had. they were all crystal clear and really interesting, with lots of cameos from most everyone i know both online and off. the best part was that i was semi-lucid so i managed to direct the dreams a couple of times to where i wanted them to go, which produced some very, very intriguing scenarios. god, i love my unconscious mind!
my table is in its home in the corner of the kitchen. it’s so pretty! who knew a bunch of pine and poly could make me so happy?
i found a bunch of old email on one of my drives last night. jim warned me not to read it, especially considering some of the confusion i told him i was experiencing. some of it i did read, others i deleted sight unseen. the stuff i did read was actually beneficial. it served to clear up a few things in my mind, settle a few of the questions i had. the problem is, it may have helped me smooth some of my logical bumps, but the emotional ones are still a little off-kilter. it almost pisses me off that my balance can be so screwed up in such a short period of time.
fuck it. i want to be bowled over.

jodi may be the internet’s sweetheart, but i have famous bloggers hunting me down to request, nay, demand new posts. i’m craved by the public! they yearn for me when i’m absent! ahem.
this post is dedicated to kevin, who influences us more than he knows.
so, it was a blurry three days, filled with polyurethane and celluloid. as i’ve written elsewhere, i don’t remember friday, but saturday was spent on chores and an entire afternoon devoted to the wonder which is ikea. i love the swedes. i finally succumbed to the guilt of having deprived my father of his patio table for the last four years so i had a place to put my african violet and my keys in the kitchen and bought myself a table of my own. after a depressing trip to the home improvement store to purchase varnishing supplies (where i stood waiting for assistance for almost twenty minutes while paint guy flirted with short-shorts girl — i suppose i wasn’t nubile enough to warrant an “i’ll be right with you”), i returned home to assemble my new furniture and begin the fun sunday morning.
i wanted to do all the stinky work on the balcony, but the weather didn’t cooperate, so it had to be done in my living [sic] room with all the windows open to ventilate. of course, it was chilly and rainy so nothing dried with any speed and i was forced to wear layers of ugly-yet-warm clothing. but it was an interesting adventure in home improvement. as of yesterday afternoon, the second and third coats have been applied and i’m just waiting a day before it gets moved to it’s permanent home for regular use. it’s so smooth and shiny and i did it all by myself (with lots of advice from dad). i’m giddy with pride in workmanship.
in between those three coats, i managed to get out and see three movies: moulin rouge, amelie and signs. they were all very good and i liked them all a lot. some more than others, all for different reasons. i’m very glad i saw them all. i’ve had a lot of popcorn this weekend. i may pop. truly.
yesterday brought an interesting surprise in the form of a ghost from my past. this happens to me surprisingly often, a person i thought i’d never hear from again, who i was certain didn’t want anything to do with me, comes out of the woodwork to tell me how they’ve missed my presence in their life, thought of me often, wondered how i was faring. it’s funny, because i do that. i think back on people i’ve known and send a small mental “hope you’re doing well” card.
this reunion has brought up a lot of old feelings and it’s both exciting and disturbing for us both. i don’t know what is going to come of it and, honestly, i don’t care. i’m just enjoying it for what it is, a reconnection with someone i cared for very much at one point in my life. the chance to catch up and feel a little thrill again. i missed that little thrill.

new cute guy alert! i’m pretty sure the adorable, tall, brown-haired boy i saw downstairs looking at me is the same adorable, brown-haired boy who smiled at me as we passed in the parking lot this morning. a quick inquiry revealed his name is andy, he works for that other company and is, in debbie’s words, “a little timid”, to which i replied with a sly smile, “don’t worry. i can be gentle”.
the problem is i have absolutely no valid work-related reason to be anywhere near him. oh well. it’s nice to have new scenery, even if i don’t get a chance to enjoy it.

blah blah blah friday blah blah payday blah blah paid off visa blah blah blah my camera is on sale for $50 less than i paid blah blah i’m going to go get that $50 back blah blah blah sleepy blah going out for lunch blah blah still haven’t gotten art gallery membership card blah blah going to ask karen to see signs on sunday blah blah blah three day weekend blah really need to visit minnesota.

i just sent approximately 2,000 magic:the gathering cards to oregon and picked up the print i’d ordered from one of my digital photos. the cards weighed 5kg (11lbs) and the print turned out better than i ever could have imagined. i fucking love my camera, and the internet. upload a file, click-click-click, pick up a physical print in two days. this is way better than i imagined. giddy, i am!
now i’m going to go use my new juicy-juice face scrub, eat a delicious white nectarine, stare adoringly at my 5″x7″ and watch big brother while hoping amy goes tonight because i like marcellas.

i stayed up too late watching, and taking pictures of, the fireworks last night. and i really, really, really have to stop drinking real coke in the evenings. i just can’t express how glad i am it’s thursday. one more day (one day more)! i can make it. i hope.
in lieu of real content, here are some (blue hair) photos from the week.

how stupid it is for me to want to go bowling? why on earth would i want to participate in an activity which requires that innocent people watch my ass? i’m very, very cruel.
in other news, i’ve booked off a week and a day in the latter part of september. i’ll spend some of that time with mom for her birthday, and the rest is all mine. good, something to look forward to.

holy crap. i just realized this is a long weekend coming up. good thing i realized or i’d have tried coming to work on monday.
so, it’s okay that i ate cookies and salad for dinner last night, right? they were birthday cookies, if that makes any difference. birthday cookies heather made for me which just arrived in a really mangled box with other cool presents (like a new jersey keychain, hang-loose pin, a novel, picture of and card from rowan, an assortment of novelty condoms (is that a hint?) and, the piece de resistance… a blue wig!). that makes them just as healthy as the salad. right? stop looking at me like that.
birthday presents a month after your birthday rock! i forgot to upload the picture i took of me with my blue hair, so you’ll just have to wait to see how cool i am until i get home tonight. now i have to find one of those wig mannequins so it will keep its shape (and i can fix the crystal carrington bangs action it has going on). yay! blue hair! i’m giddy!

it feels far too frantic for it to be only ten o’clock. not that i’ve gotten any work accomplished, but it seems to be turning out to be a combination “consult heather about web projects/get heather to do crap word processing” day. joy!
recent events have brought to my attention just how non-touchy most of my relationships with people are. there’s very little hugging, leaning, hair-touching, kissing, hand-holding, back-slapping or knee-sitting in my circles. i’ve been trying to wade through my memories to see if it’s me or them. other than hugs here and there, there are serious non-touching vibes. maybe it’s the fact that i’m really hesitant to invade anyone’s personal space without very, very clear indications that it’s all right so i project a “don’t touch me” aura for myself. mm. something else to work on, i guess.
i’ve done very little in the way of actual work today. i’ve futzed with the archives and cleaned up some old posts which didn’t look right with the new layout. made another popup image display (how do i love andrea’s script? let me count the ways!) of some older pictures. now it’s finally near enough to lunchtime that i can consider nuking my sloppy joe concoction and reading my book for a while. it’s looking like this afternoon will be spent messing with yabb. i’m not quite sure if i’m happy about that or not. ask me after lunch.
by the way, even with browsing new blogs with hot-or-not, the internet is fucking boring lately. fix that, will you?

just in case any of you have forgotten, i’ve been smoke-free for five months now (or hereabouts as i don’t remember the exact date i stopped smoking but it was near the end of february). five months! that’s an accomplishment of some sort, i’d say… especially considering half my friends smoke like fucking chimneys.

i think my time is just about up. i can feel it creeping ever closer. this morning, i kept looking over my shoulder, certain that the piper was waiting there to be paid. every day, i travel the same stretch of road and every day, i speed. i go well over the posted speed limit, traffic permitting. i’ve been lucky so far, but i almost feel the long arm of the law hovering just out of sight, waiting for the perfect moment to spring it’s awful, radar trap.
this morning, paranoia set in. every minivan with blacked out windows was a ghost car. every exit and alley harboured a cruiser eager to pounce.
but i didn’t slow down.
if they’re going to catch me, i’m going to be speeding as if my life depends on reaching mach one. i’m going to be flying like the wind, my little geo nearly breaking apart from the g-forces inflicted upon it, all three cylinders near the melting point. ahh… yeah, try and catch me, copper! fifty-five horses under the hood and i’m unstoppable!
ahem. err, yeah. i think i need to switch to decaf.

i really didn’t want to put a link up. i really didn’t, but it’s a requirement of registration so it’s not my fault. i thought that if you stumbled across me there you’d think it was some sort of mistake or you would be amused at my stealth. those bastards are forcing me into it…
how hot (or not) am i?

so, yeah. i stole a bunch of different ideas from a bunch of different websites, threw them all together and this is what i came up with. if anything breaks, please let me know.

i had this amazing two-hour nap this afternoon. i slept so hard it took me a good hour to stop feeling like i was drunk after actually rolling myself off the futon. it was great! that’s not even taking into consideration the dreams i had. wow. they were even better. although, i think i may get my ass kicked by someone’s girlfriend if i ever divulge any details.
bowling last night was a bust (but i won the one game we played), but only ’cause the place sucked and no one wanted to go the distance to find a better place. drinks & snacks at subeez was great (carly pope of popular fame was sitting a couple tables down from us. i tried to get pictures of her, but she moves her head a ridiculous amount when she talks so they all came out blurry). walking up and down granville people-watching and looking in store windows was even better. despite the lackluster bowling experience, it turned into a great night with new friends. i think i could get to like this getting to know new people gig. pictures will be posted whenever i feel like it, btw.

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, Canada, North Vancouver, Upper Lonsdale, Heather, Female, 26-30!

while washing my hair this morning, with my new wild strawberry shampoo ($1.69!), i wondered how it is that pretty, coloured liquids (like my bright red shampoo) become white when lathered. is this something the chemists have done in the lab knowing that most people won’t believe they’re getting clean without pure white later or is it a curious property of lathering products? it made me wonder if the multi-coloured soap that oozes from the soapbrush at the wand-wash i went to on saturday is defective somehow for being shades of pink and yellow. i think it would be pretty damn cool to be lathering up with bright purple or blue bubbles.
hey, do bubbles glow under black lights? now there’s some interesting possibilities!

tonight has been blissfully cool in chez hessie as compared to every other evening this week. just five degrees cooler and i’m a not-so-lean, mean, cleaning machine. the dishes are done, the laundry is laundered, the big brother pile is finally finished being boxed up, the carpet is vacuumed (that was a bonus brought on by two pounds of rice being accidentally spilled in the kitchen), horizontal surfaces have been decluttered, and dinner was cooked. it feels so much better to be both cool and in a clean apartment again. i think i may even have a good night’s sleep tonight! zzz…

this is a slow-starting day. it’s almost time for me to go get something for lunch, but i’m just now starting to wake up. of course, it’s my own damn fault for staying out so late.
after road to perdition, en route to take karen home to kits, we took a detour through stanley park and wandered around second beach a while. i swung on the swings, took a couple of pictures and fell off a curb with a resounding thud and gratitude it was dark so no one could see how much i blushed for embarrassment. on the way across the bridge home, i caught a glimpse of the full moon rising above the city & reflecting in the harbour. i just had to find a place to photograph it (if i could have, i would have stopped in the middle of the bridge and taken the shot). i drove to ambleside, but that was too low and by the time i got to higher ground the moon had risen enough to shrink, ruining the effect. i was not pleased. i was even less pleased that i had to go home to my hotbox of an apartment. the night was so lovely and cool. i very nearly kept driving just to be outside.
today, i’m being ginger with my knees, neck and back to make sure that i a) didn’t do any damage with my fall; and, b) don’t exacerbate any such damage. plus i’m exhausted for not getting to bed until after midnight. it’s all very wrong, this working thing. i need a sabbatical.
now that my car isn’t smelly, i’m infused with a false sense of security concerning it’s mechanical soundness. this is making me dream of road trips. oddly enough, it’s making me dream of road trips to the island. i want to go to buchart gardens and take pictures of blanchard elementary where i spent second grade. i wonder if there is still a park across the street from the apartment building i lived in? i want to find that little country store where mom would take me for bubble gum ice cream cones. i want to, finally, stop at goldstream park. i want to go to my favourite spot on the entire island to commune with the otters and walk the rocks. i want to go to sooke because i like the way it sounds. i want to go to gabriola and get back into touch with the place where i was conceived. i want to have lunch at fast eddie’s and play “brown eyed girl” on the juke box. who’s coming with me?
i put together a little week in review. enjoy it.