last night for a post-workout dinner, i ate a bag of microwave popcorn and two klondike bars. look at me! i’m the epitome of health!
meghan phoned to apologize for blowing me off this weekend. she & mark had a domestic about him going out after work which gave her a case of jodi’s mean reds and didn’t want to talk to anyone. her solution? to not go home after class tonight. i understand her motivation, but i don’t honestly think it will work. not with mark, anyway. it’s not so bad, though, she may come over to mine after class thursday. just in case, i should make sure to have something made for dinner to feed her.
three weeks. i can’t believe it’s less than a month away now. have i mentioned that i’m über-thrilled that men in black II is coming out on my birthday? well, i am! mmm, tommy lee jones.

in yet another quest to avoid actually working, i whipped this up. no one (other than me) has done very well. now you can all have a chance at it. post your pitiful scores in the comments when you’re done, please.

i may have done this one previously, but oh well. stole the idea & list from sara. thanks, it gave me an excuse to not do work for another half an hour.
 1. Who was the last person you yelled at?
in anger? my mom, but years ago. in jest? debbie. spoke sternly to with a threat of yelling? scary helen. i’m not much of a yeller.
 2. Who was the last person you kissed?
jason.
 3. What was the last memorable book you read?
the ender books by orson scott card, i think. they really gripped me.
 4. When did you last dance?
couple weeks ago, in my apartment.
 5. What’s the last thing you want to hear from your parents?
“i’m dying.”
 6. When did you last go for a walk?
two weeks ago.
 7. When did you last do your ironing?
three months ago?
 8. When was the last time you smiled all day?
yesterday.
 9. What color of socks do you normally wear?
black or grey.
10. Did you ever attend a private school?
nyet.
11. Do you like stuffed animals?
yes, but i’m currently sucking up the intestinal fortitude to give all mine away.
12. Have you ever smashed pumpkins?
no.
13. Can you quote Shakespeare?
to be or not to be, that is the question. whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them? to die, to sleep.
14. Are you a neat freak?
about some things, yes. others, decidedly not. i’ve made my peace with dust and cobwebs, but clutter is becoming a nemesis.
15. What is the worst injury you have ever given someone?
um… bruises/hickeys.
16. Do you ever eat lemons plain?
only to clean out other foul tastes from my mouth.
17. Have you ever fired a gun?
not an authentic gun.
18. Do you own any knee-high boots?
no, but i’d like to.
19. Do you have a crush on somebody?
kind of, but i think it’s fading now.
20. Do you like swimming in lakes?
i like swimming anywhere.
21. Have you ever streaked at a football game or any other public event?
yeah, right.
22. What is your favorite gemstone?
i don’t really have one, so i’ll say ruby because it’s my birthstone.
23. Have you gone on many blind dates?
is one considered many?
24. Has someone done something extra nice for you?
yes, but not in a while.
25. Did you have a crush on any of your teachers?
definitely. mr. jarvis was a cutie.
26. Have you ever been lost in a bad part of a city?
just last week.
27. Would you rather have a mint or fruit flavored gum?
mint.
28. Do you ever eat food right out of cans or jars?
all the time.
29. Has your mind ever gone blank?
…
30. Have you ever met anyone interesting at the laundry mat?
i’ve never been to a laundromat.
31. Are you kind?
sometimes.
32. Would you give a needy person the shirt off your back?
no, but i’d buy them a shirt at value village.
33. Do you have any beanie babies?
yes, but i’m getting rid of them. want them?
34. Would you rather be hot or cold?
cold. i can always put more clothes on.
35. Is the glass half full, or empty?
it’s looking pretty empty to me.
36. Do you exercise or work out regularly?
yes, but it’s still a struggle to get it done.
37. Could you kill if your life was threatened?
no, but i could if someone i loved was.

i love my name. i love all three of my names, actually. i love the way they look and sound together. sorry, just a random thought i had as i saw the nameplate on my desk as i walked back with my coffee.
i’m really sleepy today. i’ve been yawning so hard it looks like i’m crying.
my friends stood me up this weekend. there were no cards and no sushi. oddly, i’m not that upset about it. curious, yes. upset, no.
garage sales are interesting, scary and fascinating all rolled up in one. i’m amazed what people will put out for sale. i’m even more amazed at what people will buy. it’s a great way to exercise my voyeuristic inclinations, constructing whole lives for these people in my imagination just by looking at the stuff they’ve accumulated. i wonder what people would think of me based solely on my belongings.
dad asked me if i’d like tickets to cats for my birthday. i don’t think i do. if it was phantom or les mis or even rent i’d have immediately said yes. i just never really wanted to see cats that badly. singing cats who go to heaven… yeah, okay, whatever.

i finally got around to buying a thermometer for my apartment. it’s an old building, built without benefit of insulation i suspect, so it’s expected to have hot/cold issues. compounding my plight is my south-west exposure which gets all the lovely afternoon and evening sun pummelling it all summer long. i’ve known, for the last four summers, that my apartment soaks up and holds the heat very, very well during those sunny summer months. now i will have a means to track just how hot it gets.
for example, the environment canada website currently says that it is 21°C in vancouver. my thermometer says it’s 27.5°C inside my apartment. check out the cam link over there –>, i have it trained on my new toy. we shall call it the “thermo-cam”!
anyway, to escape the heat, i’m going to take my dad out to dinner now. i thought today was father’s day when i arranged this outing. oops. it’s not until next sunday. that just means dad has to wait a week for his card! *tee hee*

so far today i have: sorted through my plethora of cassettes, put away all the mix tapes i dare not throw away, cleaned out a couple more boxes, found a couple pillows to donate to karen’s new abode, showered, phoned telus and changed my long distance plan to save me $20 a month (damn, their c.s. rep was perky!), showered, drank a pot of coffee, helped mark find a star in his video game, made a garage sale shopping date with karen and a father’s day dinner date with my papa for tomorrow. now, i’m just about to start some laundry and whip up a big veggie stir-fry for lunch. all this before noon on a saturday. i must have a tumor.
tonight, i think we’re going for japanese and then playing cards. at least, i hope we’re going for japanese. i need me some yakisoba and kappa maki. mmm, sushi.

by the way, i was right.
no, i don’t expect you to understand.

if i could, i’d marry marinated cauliflower.
anyone want a box full of cassette tapes circa 1990-1997? i think that’s going to be my task this weekend, to go through them all, make a list of those i want to replace with cds and then find someone to take the rest. i don’t have a stereo, or even a boom box, to listen to them on so why do i keep them? my old answer was “to listen to in the car”. well, i don’t even do that, so they’re being tossed. i wonder if i could sell them to someone. is there a market for used cassettes?
my friday payday ends an hour early! i don’t know what i’ll do with that hour, but i know i won’t be here. yippee!
ever have a relationship with someone which revolved around sex? not even that you had sex with them, but pretty much every conversation eventually became sexual in nature? i think whether it turns into dirty friendship depends on how it starts. you flirt because it’s an easy ice-breaker. the hurdle is getting past that very powerful topic to the more mundane or more personal issues upon which true relationships are based, or flourish. i wish i didn’t have so many dirty friendships sometimes; othertimes, i wish some of my clean friendships were a little messier. mmm, messy.

i think this is going to be a postful day. i’m feeling ebullient.
so, while waiting for karen outside chapters, i had to go in. duh. me. books. dangerous combination. there’s a reason i refuse to go into bookstores anymore, and it’s sitting on my desk. the fifth book in the wheel of time series. i know, i said i wasn’t going to read past the third book. yes, i know i said i wasn’t going to buy any new books after aswohg. but karen was late! she left me there, alone, vulnerable and in a bookstore! i couldn’t stop myself.
i love bookstores. my mom owned a bookstore when i was younger. i remember sitting on the floor in the corner where the kids section was at the back of the store and just pulling everything off the shelf and reading while she helped customers. if i ever had the inclination to be an entreprenuer, that’s what i’d do. of course, i’d have to ensure it didn’t matter if i made money since independant book stores just don’t have the buying power to outlast the mega-stores. what about a bookstore/pool hall/coffee bar? damn, if they had one here, i’d practically move in.
while waiting in line behind the goth girl with her leather collar and mercedes lackey book, i couldn’t help but notice the strange little man at the counter ahead of us. he immediately reminded me of mel gibson’s character in conspiracy theory and the conspiracy guy. he was twitchy and had a nervous stutter as he chattered on to the clerk.
“this one is from a list and so is this one but this one was an impulse buy i couldn’t say no it was calling to me but it wasn’t on the list so it would be for me because it wasn’t on the list.”
i couldn’t help but grin, and step gingerly around him when it was time to move to a check out.
while at my check out, i was decidedly chatty with the semi-adorable service person. i was right proud of myself. eye contact, smiling, witty reparte with only a tiny amount of embarrassed blush. look at me go! actually, it’s spilling over into today. i’m doing a lot of smiling and eye contacting with the trainees i’ve passed in the halls this morning. ’tis a good thing, as it’s day eleven and i’m desperate for the weekend.

karen & i managed to get the last two good seats in the theatre to see bad company last night at metropolis. it was a lot better than i thought it would be. i was worried chris rock would turn it into a gong show. but sir anthony and he played off each other fairly well. there were laughs, the audience applauded at least twice, and i was a little tense with anticipation even though i knew i didn’t have to be. if a movie can suspend the disbelief long enough for me to twich with every potential wrong move by the characters, it can’t be that bad.
go see it. tell them heather sent you.

i’m losing track of what day it is. working for ten days straight will do that to you.
i think music videos have destoyed music. they glamorize the artist’s outside rather than letting the music speak for itself. think about it, before mtv or much music, do you really think brittney spears would be such a big star? the music industry has become all about the look and the music comes second. it’s all backwards and it frustrates me.
karen & i are going to see a preview of the new anthony hopkins/chris rock movie tonight. dinner at tgif, movie at metropolis, and then a drive out to kits to take her home. sounds like a good night. i’m just glad i went to bed relatively early last night. hm, i should check to see if the bridge is closed tonight. i don’t think i want to drive down hastings that late at night.
lots of thoughts, none of them fully fleshed-out. want to sit around talking, drinking drinks of any nature, playing “i spy” or eating strawberry pie. damn you people, let’s play!

last night’s dreams were completely paul-centric. i was in paul’s apartment (i was looking through his cupboards). i drove paul’s car in the snow (it handled great). paul came and saved me from the evil computer dude (who was trying to brainwash me into betraying paul). i actually woke up twice and thought “why the hell am i dreaming about paul?” only to fall back asleep and dream about him again.
sometimes i wonder about my brain.

well, it’s all official. starting in the fall i will finally be a student again. yay! i’m all registered for Introduction to Web Programming/Scripting at bcit. the only thing i’m not excited about it the fact it’s a saturday class. at nine a.m. even with the crappy timetable, it’s going to be nice to stretch my brain again.
i was going to be such a good girl last night and go to bed early to catch up on some sleep. i was in bed by eight-twenty and lulled asleep by the timo maas essential mix by eight-thirty. then the unthinkable happened. the phone rang. i thought i could leave it alone, not get up and check to see if someone left a message. then i realized it was still early and it could have been karen calling about the movie tomorrow or mom with another fire story to tell. so i got up. it was meghan. “call me.” i called her. after a twenty minute conversation about poutine, klonoa 2 and sonar, i hung up. i got back under the über-blankie, stretched out and tried to relax. it wasn’t going to happen. i don’t know what i did for two hours, but i finally got back into bed sometime after eleven. ugh.
needless to say, i’m still sleepy. but, i have watermelon for breakfast.
i still want to write about my reactions to the hamptons “real-life mini-series” which was on the last two nights, but i shall wait until i’ve seen the second part. to tide you over, let it be said that there are some people who should not whiten their teeth. *shudder*

when i was still over-tired and giddy this morning, i had a lot of different things i wanted to write about, but i was too busy fighting a deadline to post. now that i’m not so busy and decidedly ungiddy, but even more tired, i just can’t seem to get up the interest to type out all the things i meant to say. maybe i’ll feel more verbose tomorrow. i can’t wait to go to bed.
i’m tempted to go to sonar tomorrow night, but it’s for all the wrong reasons. i’d better serve myself by staying home and throwing things out. that being said, i’m really interested in getting new shelves. something metallic. they have some galvanized utility shelves at zellers on sale this week. i may succumb and buy one, or maybe two.
i need kisses and stubble and fingers and cuddling and zippers and t-shirts taken off the right way. i need familiarly unfamiliar smells and long hair against hot skin and nibbles and gasping and that magic spot behind your left ear. i need nipples and bellies and ticklish knees. i need boy hips and wrists and the small patch of fuzz at the base of your spine. i need less dangerous thinkings and more dangerous doings.

one month.
four weeks.
thirty days.
seven-hundred twenty hours.
forty-three thousand two hundred minutes.
that’s how long until i’m old.
just remember, i don’t want much for my three-oh-ty-eth birthday. just a big party and lots of presents. i wouldn’t mind plane tickets to interesting locales — i have the first week of july off work, so i’m free to travel!
remember, it takes longer to ship to canada, so send things early! =)

it’s a gorgeous, cloudless day with the temperature in the high teens and a breeze just stiff enough. so, guess where i am!
at work.
it’s not a total wash, though. i just got here from helping karen move from the victoria inn downtown to her new room on a nice quiet street in kitsilano. after everything was unloaded, we sat on the front porch gabbing, laughing and watching all the beautiful people jog and bike down towards the beach. she’s got herself not one, but two jobs now and is going to apply here as well. i think it’s all finally coming together for her and that’s awesome. the more settled she gets the closer to fruition comes my dream of a bedroom and a cat.
i’m just going to finish off my subway sandwich — shut up, i’ve been up since 7:30 and i haven’t eaten yet — and then get down to business. fucking resumes.

[14:14] hessie: marie just told me that i have the coolest eyebrows.
[14:14] Dor: you do, I noticed last night.
[14:15] hessie: i created them in 1996.
[14:15] Dor: nice job!
[14:15] hessie: merci. =)
[14:16] Dor: de nada

part of my “get out of this funk” strategy involves cleaning useless stuff out of my life. this includes lots of different things, activities, thoughts and people. last night, i started with the medicine cabinet and underneath the bathroom sink. this is what i threw away:
– one expired clearblue easy pregnancy test
– 24 pink foam curlers
– one bottle paint-on blue hair goop
– 11 large-size trojan condoms
– 15 bottles of nail polish in assorted colours
– peach bath crystals
– gillette excel razor & spare blade
– 5 plastic caps from unknown spray bottles
– hotel shower cap with three holes in it
– raspberry soap which smelled like nail polish
– one “insert finger and rotate” nail polish remover
– 25 carefree panty liners
– 2 sample-size bottles of calvin klein’s eternity perfume
– 2 bonnie bell perfumes (happy & flirt)
– 3 empty ginko biloba bottles